


You want it darker

by IceisalsoGreat (Popsicles88)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alpha Eren Yeager, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Canon, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dubious Consent, Emotionally Repressed, M/M, Mating, Omega Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Omega Verse, Recreational Drug Use, Shame
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:27:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 69,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27529222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Popsicles88/pseuds/IceisalsoGreat
Summary: Levi is calm.  Levi is measured.  Levi is in control.  And after fighting his way out of gang violence and titan bloodbaths he felt certain that things could continue that way.Cue entry of new recruit Eren Jeager.
Relationships: Levi/Eren Yeager
Comments: 218
Kudos: 458





	1. It begins

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work of fiction writing, so thank you for reading! I would really appreciate any feedback. 
> 
> I would like to shout out to the inimitable Nilahxapiel for the excellent "Primitive Liars" and to the fantastic scienfictioness for the unmissable "Red Heat", both of which inspired me to write this work.

_“I choose the rooms that I live in with care_

_The windows are small and the walls are bare_

_There's only one bed and there's only one prayer_

_and I wait every night for your step on the stair”_

(Tonight will be fine - L. Cohen)

_July 849_

They say you should never meet your heroes.

Now, hanging upside down in front of his class, a black eye forming, his back covered in mud, and the lining of his briefs on display, Eren was coming to realise the truth in that saying. 

“Pathetic blocking Jaeger. Abysmal use of your OMD. Zero for environmental awareness.”

The words themselves were pretty biting, but hearing them fall from the lips of your childhood hero in front of your peer group was an especially painful experience. Eren thought he’d become pretty numb to life’s hardships, but it turns out that there are always new forms of punishment the universe can serve out when you least expect it.

Levi Ackerman effortlessly jumped down from the tree overlooking the training ground and flicked a knife across the ropes binding Eren, causing him to fall face down in the mud below. 

“Damn Jaeger, you get worse at this every week,” Jean called out from the group of trainees who were observing the fight before them. 

“Shut-up horse face, you try taking him on!” Eren spat out as he stood up from the mud, before feeling himself fall again as Levi’s legs took out his heel with a low kick.

“Never get distracted from your opponent during a fight,” Levi chided. 

“Yes sir. Sorry sir,” Eren said as he lay on his back.

It was a Tuesday. Eren had awoken to the news that Levi Ackerman, the strongest warrior in the Scouts Corp, defender of humanity and all around “good guy”, was going to take the new recruits for an advanced combat class. After three years of general training, Eren was excited at the opportunity to train with such a living legend. He’d previously taken out top spot for combat skills and was secretly hoping to impress his idol with some of the moves he’d mastered over the years.

However, after eagerly volunteering to go first for the sparring demonstration at the beginning of class, Levi had used every opportunity to show Eren just how his useless his skills actually were.

“Find your base position again,” Levi ordered. 

The two men sidled back to their starting positions. Eren tried to focus on the man in front of him as a potential enemy, but his brain couldn’t concentrate. He was here. After many years of training, Eren had finally come face to face with The. Levi. Ackerman. 

Eren had first heard of Levi in the days after the Wall Maria was breached. In the midst of that black period in his life he had heard the story of a young Scout who had managed to carve a way back through Shiganshina, rescuing a lost group of refugees. Some said that he had killed 10 titans that day, other said it was over 30. Tales had spread like wildfire of a scout with unnatural speed and skill, a scout that could single-handedly take on a 15-metre Titan without fear. Eren couldn’t believe such a human was real. The knowledge that someone like Levi existed was enough to push Eren through the misery of losing his family. Levi was proof that there was a better life for him and Mikasa and Armin. Levi was proof that humanity wasn’t damned to weakness and fear in the face of titans. Levi was proof that next time, if Eren trained, if Eren didn’t falter, he could save the people he loved from the titans. 

And now, Eren was face to face with the man he had aspired to be. The man who had made his life meaningful, before he was even a part of it. And the man who was now making a total ass of Eren in front of his friends. 

Levi’s eyes narrowed. Eren moved forward quickly hoping to get in a clean punch and show him his power. Levi was very quick, but Eren figured he probably had him on strength if he could land a punch. 

Levi actually burst out laughing during the assault as he swiftly stepped to the side and whipped Eren’s feet out from under him again. Eren somersaulted over and landed back in the mud. He could Jean and Annie join the chorus of laughter.

“Are you an alpha or a pig Jaeger? Get out of the mud.” 

Eren blushed. He was used to rough-housing and to strict training in the military, but he hadn’t expected Levi, the Levi, to be so… mean? Had he done something to offend the man before he’d even met him?

“Sorry sir” Eren said, standing up again. 

“If you can’t learn to move quicker then you’ll nothing but dead weight on your first expedition.” 

“Yes sir.”

“Is that what you are Jaeger, an Alpha who relies on others to do his work?”

“No Sir.”

“Then you better start learning how to move and how to block attacks or you will be spending a lot more time in the mud.” Levi said, before spinning around and kicking Eren once more to the ground.

“OK, you sad sacks. Pair up! I want to see you all practising your blocks. Split five minutes between defence and offence in the pairs.”

“Sir, yes sir” the corp chanted and started to pair off. 

Levi reached down to offer Eren his hand. Eren grasped it and a jolt of electricity startled him as Levi roughly pulled up him up. Vibrations ran up his arm and across his body. 

And in that single instant, the image before Eren is replaced. Levi remained standing over him, but he's in a room, it's dark, his face is covered in blood and he is wearing formal clothing.

Levi let go of Eren’s hand with a start. Eren saw his eyes slightly widen. Levi made to say something but stopped himself. 

“You too Jaeger, find a sparring partner”. 

Eren’s heart rate had sped up following the touch. An odd sensation came over him and his vision blurred for an instant. When his eyes refocussed, Eren noticed just how prominent the muscles in Levi’s arms were. His neck was thick and his jaw well-defined. His lips were oddly alluring and his eyes seemed to deepen as he looked at them. Levi was handsome in a sort of understated way. He lacked any real scent apart from some standard issue deodorant which was not unusual for a Beta. It was still difficult to comprehend that this was his childhood hero standing in front of him. Eren looked at his hand, still warm from the touch.

“Oi, kid! Find a partner,” Levi said.

“Sorry sir, yes sir,” Eren replied, embarrassed. Why the fuck was Eren thinking about a man’s lips during a training exercise? Eren shook his head to clear his thoughts before pairing up with Jean. He needed a human punching bag to vent the crippling embarrassment that had been building up within him throughout the morning.

The class sparred for the rest of the hour. Eren tried his best to redeem himself in front of Levi but struggled after the confidence blow from being kicked around by Levi. Jean managed to put him on his back at one especially low point.

The only person who managed to impress Levi was, of course, Mikasa. At one point she countered an attack by Reiner, the tallest and heaviest built alpha of their year, and threw him right over her shoulder.

“Well-executed,” Levi said. Mikasa nodded as Reiner groaned on the ground. 

***

After class Mikasa and Armin waited for Eren as he cleaned himself up before they headed to the Mess Hall. Eren let out a sigh as he loosened the straps to his OMD gear Levi had made them wear throughout the training session.

“Don’t worry about it Eren, Levi is just using you to psyche the corp out,” Armin said.

“Yeah,” said Eren quietly. 

He felt a bit numb walking to the Mess Hall. He hated losing fights. He hated losing fights in front of the corp. And Eren especially hated to lose such a fight to his childhood hero, when said hero had turned out to be actually a bit of a prick. 

Eren would never admit this to anyone, but he used to fantasise about being on Levi’s team in the Scouts corp. He’d picture the two of them slaying titans and exploring new lands together. He didn’t know exactly what to expect on meeting him, but had been silently confident that Levi would hold some sort of quiet respect for Eren and how he had handled himself during general training. Despite his poor showing today Eren was usually highly proficient at hand to hand combat. He had not expected to have his ass handed to him and to be compared to a farmyard animals by Levi. Eren let out another sigh as he continued to replay the day’s events in his head. 

The three entered the Mess Hall and took their seats. 

***

“Levi! How did your first training session go?! I bet you’ve made some wonderful new friends amongst the new recruits?” Hange said, smiling too loudly for the time of day. 

“Their skill level is very low. The highest scoring recruit is basically cannon fodder.”

“Oh well, sounds like we will need to make this training a regular event! Aren’t they lucky to have you available to teach them all you know!” Hange beamed enthusiastically.

Levi gazed across the Mess Hall at the recruits, many of them totally absorbed in their meal. His eyes were drawn to the back of Jaeger’s neck. Eren Jaeger. Levi had reviewed the files of the top achieving students and was disappointed that Eren had not lived up to his promise given his high scores for combat. A typical Alpha who probably just relied on his natural strength and instincts without every really pushing himself to study combat technique. He recalled the strange sensation when he had grasped his hand. It was stronger than just static electricity. It didn’t cause pain but it was slightly unnerving. Levi disliked nearly all male Alphas and tried to avoid their company other than when on missions when they could prove useful. Erwin was the only one who was slightly bearable, but he still had his moments.

“I’m sure they’re thrilled.”

Levi looked down at his plate. He reviewed the contents and calculated that the meal was too carb heavy so he silently placed two thirds of the wheat bread on Hange’s plate, who would eat anything. Although food was relatively scarce Levi couldn’t afford to just eat anything unlike most of the recruits in the hall, who appeared to be busily shovelling down everything placed in front of them. He would take some protein powder later to ensure his muscles would have sufficient nutrition for the day.

The table shook as Erwin seated himself next to Hange. 

“Levi. Hange.”

“Erwin.”

Erwin commenced eating the meal, picking up Hange’s now extra wheat bread and eating it himself. 

“How were the recruits Levi?”

“Equally disappointing as last year.”

“Well. At least Shadis is consistent.”  
  
Levi and Hange chuckled, “Yeah, we will have to thank him for that.”

“Well they will get their first real test very shortly. We are riding out at the end of next week.”

“That soon? Are you sure the new equipment is ready? It’s still in testing,” Hange said. 

“It will be a full moon so good visibility for night riding, it’s our best chance to run the operation,” Erwin replied. 

“We’ll be ready then.”

“Anyway, it gives you a week or so to enjoy yourselves with the breath of fresh air the new recruits bring. Any lookers this year?” Erwin asked, staring suggestively at Levi.

“Ooh yes Levi, tell us you’ve finally found something you’re interested in apart from training and being sadistic to my poor titan friends. Did you get a crush on one of them during training?” Hange joined Erwin in bending over the table to gaze at Levi. 

Hange and Erwin had started to develop a very unhelpful interest in Levi’s love life. Now that Hange was bonded to Moblit and Erwin had bonded Nanaba they appeared to view finding him a mate as their next life task to achieve. 

“Ugh, give me a break, they’ve all just turned 20, they’re still babies, I’m not sure half of them are even toilet trained.” Levi replied. 

“I thought that may be how you liked them,” Erwin chuckled. 

“Fuck off,” Levi glared at the Alpha across from him.

“Well how are we meant to know Levi, you never give us any hints as to your type! You know a strong beta like you has so many possibilities! I’m sure there are many eligible women amongst the new recruits.”

“There are definitely not.”

“Maybe an eligible man? Arlert is quite a becoming beta.”

“This conversation is at an end.” Levi finished his meal and excused himself.

“Aww don’t leave us Levi.” Hange called out as the shorter man turned to make his exit from the Mess Hall. 

At the back of the room, Eren found his eyes following Levi as he left the meal early. 

***

After an afternoon of paperwork Levi returned to the training grounds to work out. He calculated he needed to do about 40 minutes of cardio and 35 minutes of strength training today, given his food intake and earlier exercise. He tied his shoes and set off around the track.

As he rounded the track to turn down the longer route by the farm on base, he saw Jaeger working out at the outdoor combat course. Levi observed him from a distance during his run. Out of his peripheral vision he could see that Eren was practicing the blocks Levi had instructed to the class on earlier that day. Levi refused to feel any sense of pride at his student’s effort and turned the corner of the running track. 

Levi saw a few Omegas were picking some of the fruits that had ripened in the base orchard. There were very few Omegas on base save for in the farm, kitchens and in the hospital. They had a separate dorm on the opposite side of base and were not permitted to socialise with the corp outside of sanctioned events. Levi glanced at the group out of his peripheral vision, there were five of them all women. They were working swiftly whilst talking amongst themselves. Every now and then he would hear one break out into song as they were often in the habit of. Levi gave a snort and continued his run. 

The sky had turned a warm pink by the time Levi was nearing the end of his run. He had looped around and could see Jaeger was still practicing his blocks. This irked Levi for some reason. The Alpha was sweaty from the training and his shirt was clinging to his defined figure. As Levi neared Eren turned and their eyes locked. Eren raised his hand to waive to Levi, who kept on running, but Levi decided to return the slightest of nods as he passed the Alpha. 

Levi returned to his quarters. He entered his room and removed his shoes, shaking the dirt into a bin by the door. He did a quick check around his room to ensure no one had entered and everything remained in place. Grabbing a duster he quickly went over the room to avoid any build up. He then moved to the bathroom. 

The piped hot water, a serious luxury and source of repeated joy in Levi’s life, was on for the officers’ barracks from 6 to 8 pm each night. Levi scrubbed his hands for 90 seconds, going over the palms then the back of his hands, in between each finger with vigorous effort. Why had Jaeger spent his only 2 hours of free time practicing blocks alone on the training ground? Can you even practice blocks alone? Levi shook his head and then stepped into the shower. He spent two minutes on each limb and four minutes scrubbing his torso. He shampooed and conditioned his hair with scent-blocking products, letting them soak in for maximum effect. Once cleaned, he turned off the water.

Levi towel dried and stood in his bathroom. He slowly gazed up at the mirror over the sink and frowned. 

Every time he met his reflection he was reminded of how weak and plain he was. He was used the false compliments from those close to him who would like to pretend that he was a strong and handsome man. Levi was short, thin and plain. His black hair laid flat and his cheeks appeared sunken. The muscles on his torso were minimal and seemed to shrink every day despite rigorous training. Levi sighed and return to his bedroom. Mirrors were best avoided.

Levi opened his cupboard and sank to his knees as he faced the safe stored at the base. His fingers ran over the cool metal surface and gripped the locking mechanism as he slowly turned the dial. The door swung open, revealing a small hoard of pill bottles inside. 

Levi took the cap off the closest one and dropped out a single blue pill onto his hand. He eyed the small circular object before throwing it back into his mouth. 

The pills were labelled as heart medication just in case anyone ever managed to crack the safe, although he always worried that Hange would still be able to recognise the pill colour and shape. 

Levi went to extraordinary lengths to hide his Omega traits, lengths that included a steady diet of illegal suppressants. The ones he obtained from the capital were designed for patients needing cancer treatment and were only supposed to be taken for two months at a time. At 28, Levi had used them every day now for almost 12 years. 

Levi shuddered as he felt the pill slide down his throat and replaced the pill bottle into the safe. 

His routine now complete, Levi could finally permit himself to relax. He moved over and lit a small fire so he could heat his copper kettle that was hanging next to the fireplace. Levi reached up to the shelf above the mantlepiece for his tea caddy. Petra had brought him a small container of Sencha tea on her return from Sina. He was slightly concerned that the Omega nurse was interested in him, but he appreciated the gift. The tea leaves were clumped together in small jewels that would unfold themselves once immersed in water. 

While the kettle boiled, Levi stretched and slowly let his muscles relax. He shook his arms to shake off the stiffness that formed from holding himself so straight every time he was in public. 

Despite the fire, the night’s chill had start to seep in through the drafts under the windows. Levi decided to wrap himself up in a large woollen jumper that Hange had surprised him with for last Christmas. The wool was slightly itchy, but it was very warm. Levi would never openly admit it but he secretly enjoyed the bright green and red pattern Hange had stitched in, however the pattern and colours ensured that he would never wear this jumper outside his own room. Apart from his uniform all his clothes were either black or grey.

He pulled up the armchair to the fire and retrieved a novel that Erwin had recently lent him. It was a rather interesting story set in a futuristic world. Technology had advanced so much that it was totally integrated into people's lives. The protagonist was a detective working on a case about a crazed scientist that had conducted illegal experiments on human subjects. Levi had only learnt to read as an adult and he still struggled to recognise certain words, but he enjoyed the escape books offered him.

The kettle was now close to boiling, Levi removing it just before it started to hiss. He let it cool slightly before filling the tea pot. Levi’s sense of taste and smell was almost totally destroyed due to the suppressants, but he still enjoyed the ritual of tea making. 

As he tucked his legs under him, a posture he would never permit himself to adopt if anyone else was present, he settled into the chair and lifted the book. The logs on the fire gave a slight crackle every so often. 

A soft patter of rain started to fall outside. Levi softly hummed to himself while he read. It was a very old tune that he had carried with him since childhood. 

And if Levi was to step back then, and to take some time to see himself from across the room, appearing somewhat ‘snug’ in a cosy room, finally permitting himself some of the basic creature comforts in life, in a base that was occupied by several people that he supposed did qualify as friends, then he would have to admit that, even if his life was not a happy life, not happy in the true sense, then at least it was a life in which there was an absence of pain. And for Levi, for a boy that had crawled up and out from under the ground itself, that was more than enough. He was content like this, as he had been content for some years now with the Scouts. 

However, after reading for some minutes, and being quite sure he had followed his calm down routine precisely, Levi was troubled to realise that he couldn’t concentrate on the book. Instead, his mind kept flicking. Back to those eyes. Back to the way they had seemed to looked at him like they saw right to his core. Back to the drop of sweat that had traced down his jawline at the training ground. Back to that spark that had run from his hand to his chest. Back to Jaeger. 

_... Wake up Levi ..._

He shot up in his chair. Where had that come from? He swivelled towards the door, but there was no sound. He sat alert for some minutes before allowing himself to relax. He must have overdone the exercise today. 

***

“Yo Reiner check out the tits on this one,” Jean whispered as he passed a dirty cartoon cut-out from one of the cheap tabloid newspapers from Sina.

“Phwoar bet that Omega’s been passed around the top brass at the military police a few times,” said Reiner. “I know Jaeger would have liked to get into that pussy if Levi hadn’t chopped off his dick at training today.”

“Give it here,” Eren reached out and took the piece of newspaper.

The cartoon showed a voluptuous Omega woman in the throes of heat with a plump bosom and slick virtually pooling on her legs and torso. 

“Damn I’d like to get her on my knot.”

“Yeah as-if Jaeger, yours would probably fall out it’s so small,” Reiner snickered. 

“Anyway, aren’t you only into masochism nowadays. I mean shit I know you had some weird kinks Jaeger but don’t show them off in front of the whole class next time.” Jean said.

“Don’t be jealous of my one-on-one time with the Captain. He said we can invite you for a threesome next time Jean.” 

Eren had always found a good offence was the best defence when it came to bro-banter in the military. 

He looked back at the cartoon. He could certainly see the allure of her captivating eyes and smooth soft body, but truth be told this kind of Omega had never really caught Eren’s attention. He passed it back to Jean and stared up at the ceiling. Eren tended to like more … athletic? female omegas and betas. 

There was something sexy about being with someone that had their own presence. Despite the banter Eren was pretty inexperienced in sex. He’d shared a few ruts with Omegas when on leave but most of the time had to ride them out alone given the scarcity of Omegas outside the centre of Sina. Some betas didn’t mind spending a rut with an Alpha, but it was often a chore for them after the first one or two rounds of sex. And Alpha-Alpha couples were exceedingly rare. Instead, most often during a rut Eren would just beat off furiously for a few days. 

Eren felt worked up today after the shit show at training and reached down to feel himself. He was pretty sure he could hear Jean beating off above him already. He tried to block out the noise as he reached into his mental wankbank of material. There was that time he saw Krista naked after she lost her towel coming out of the girls showers. Or the time he found Annie’s bra when on laundry duty. But tonight his thoughts were distracted, whenever he found an image that worked, another face suddenly flashed into him mind. The pale skin of his arm, covering the thick muscle underneath. The veins snaking up those arms to his torso, the full chest showing under the uniform. Those small lips and deep-set eyes—Jesus! Eren quickly opened his eyes — he did not want to follow that thought process any further. 

So instead of letting his mind roam any further Eren rolled over and tried to doze off to the rhythmic sounds of Jean wanking. 

***


	2. A First Time for Everything

_"And why are you so quiet now_

_Standing there in the doorway?_

_You chose your journey long before_

_You came upon this highway"_

(Winter Lady - L. Cohen)

_August 849_

“Arlert, fix that saddle.”

“Kirstein, your laces are undone.”

Levi was making the rounds inspecting his troops before they rode out.Today was the first time the rookies would join them on a patrol outside the walls.Having new people on the team was always a trial.You never knew how they would react the first time they encountered titans.The top student in the training ground might freeze up and never come home.Likewise every so often a total dud would suddenly prove themselves a valuable asset in the field, totally unfazed by the reality of facing a 15 metre monster.

“Mikasa, can you check my back straps?” Eren asked.She reached over and fixed the placement of the OMD straps for him.

“If we get separated remember to come and find me,” Mikasa said to him.

“I will!Stop mothering me,”Eren replied.

Mikasa was the stereotypical female Alpha to a tee--strong, independent and detached--save when it came to Eren where she took on serious prime Omega vibes, which Eren refused to admit he enjoyed, unless she had showed up with a batch of his favourite cookies on Sundays. Before they presented Eren had wondered whether he and Mikasa might be matched as mates if they had both been Betas, or if one had been an Omega, but as two Alphas they tended to butt heads more frequently than not. 

Eren did you remember to bring the jerky?” Armin asked.

“Uh, whoops.”

“Oh well I guess we are stuck with these biscuits then.”

“Maybe Sasha will share hers with us.”Eren wiggled his eyebrows.The three of them burst out laughing.

In contrast to Eren and Mikasa, Armin was a Beta. Their genders had never really affected the way the three of them interacted. Eren felt he would still treat Armin like a younger brother even if he was an Alpha. Eren was sometimes jealous of the fact that Armin never had to worry about dealing with ruts or trying to manage a life in the Scouts with finding an Omega partner to mate. There were plenty of Betas in the Scouts including some of the top warriors. They lacked the physical strength and size of Alphas, but the reality was both Alphas and Betas were nothing against a 3 metre titan when it came to strength. You had to rely on speed, sword and OMD technique and your intelligence. 

“Jaeger!If you have time to play games, you must be ready to ride out?”Levi barked.“Fix your uniform, you look like a slob.”

Jean and Reiner snickered behind them.

Eren blushed as he tried to straighten the creases from his scouts uniform.

“OK, listen up.”Levi mounted his horse and rode to the front of the pack.

“This is it, your first real test.You’ve been training for this day for three years so don’t let yourselves down. Keep your focus out there and remember the mission.Despite your many failings as students I have faith that you are each competent enough to carry out this mission.Stick together, look out for one another, let’s ride out.”

Eren realised Levi probably wasn’t cut out for the motivational speaking circuit.Nevertheless he jumped on his horse and started to follow his Captain out the gates.

***

The day had started off pretty well all things considering.Eren felt a mixture of joy and nervousness finally experiencing life outside the walls.Knowing that now there were just endless possibilities stretching out in front of him was thrilling, but the fact that they’d been travelling for over an hour without any titan sightings was slightly unnerving.

All at once Eren saw a wave of movement flow through the trees to the left of the patrol group and a loud crashing sound ring out.

Eren watched as a titan smashed through the trees to the right of them.The legs were a wall of pinky flesh that appeared to be riddled with cuts and bruises and stray hair.It was so odd to see something so big move so fast — there was nothing else like it in the natural world. 

Jean’s horse was knocked forward by the titan’s errant foot and he shouted as he fell from the saddle. 

Eren could feel his blood pounding through his ears.He tried to control his horse to veer out of the path of the titan.He looked up and saw the haggard face of the titan grinning down at them in that demented smile that was so awful it had revisited Eren’s nightmares often.The teeth were reflecting the sunlight.Each one as big as his head. Somewhere he heard someone shout to switch to OMD gear.His hands were shaking as he reached for his gas canisters.

Eren flew up into the air.He heard a piercing scream and he craned his neck to see the titan had snatched Jean off the ground.Jean had one of his blades free and was desperately hacking at the massive hand that had captured him, causing bursts of titan blood to spurt out.A thick blood smell filled the air and Eren felt that he might gag.

Eren focussed then.He aimed his hook shot at a nearby tree and swung up further into the air.Spinning around he turned to face the titan.He drew his swords and shot towards the titan’s other arm hoping to distract it to allow Jean time to escape.

However, suddenly a blurring motion whipped past him.It travelled so fast that Eren’s eyes couldn’t follow it’s path.The blur swung around the back of the titan’s neck then appeared down its arm.Everything went still as Eren saw the titan’s massive eyes roll back.It was silent as gravity simply pulled its head forward and it’s body weight pushed it down to its knees.Eren had to fly out of the path of its body as it crashed to the ground.Looking down he saw Levi had grabbed Jean and lowered him to the ground.Now he understood.He had heard the stories but it was another thing to witness this, the superhuman nature of Levi’s combat skills.He couldn’t fathom how any mortal person could move that quickly and with such precision.How could a human of such modest height fell a 15 metre titan and appear not to break a sweat?

“Arlert.Bring the medic bag,” Levi ordered.

Jean was hyperventilating on the ground, desperately trying to recover his breath after being winded. 

The group gathered around.

“Don’t stand there watching this, spread out and keep a look out you idiots,” Levi barked.

Levi was looking down at Jean and examining his body.Eren was surprised how gentle he appeared to be with him as he saw Levi softly run against Jean’s arms checking for bruises and any other injuries.

“You look OK Kirstein.Look at me, you survived, OK?You’ve got knocked about a bit and I bet your right arm is strained but you’re going to recover, understand?Deep breaths now and regain you composure.”

It was so foreign for Eren to watch, to see Levi to exhibit any, albeit limited, tenderness.He had expected him to chew Jean out for getting caught in the first place.Eren almost felt a sense of…jealousy?How would it feel to have Levi’s hands coast over his skin?To feel his touch?

“Jaeger, are you waiting to be the next casualty?Why aren’t you at a lookout point?” Levi barked.

Eren took a breath and tore his gaze away.He jumped up a nearby pine tree to get a look out of the landscape and try to let those unhelpful thoughts leave his mind.How could he let himself get so distracted while on mission?He had trained for this, he needed to prove that he could be an effective member of a patrol team and not just dead weight for Levi to protect.

Mikasa whistled from the tree next to him and he looked over at her.She held her arm out pointing to the north east and her steely gaze was fixed in that direction.A steady deep vibration was making its way up the tree underneath him.The thuds of giant footsteps nearing in on them.This was his chance, he would prove himself useful.Eren took a breath and jumped forward, ready to face whatever was in his path.

***

Despite the chaos of the day they were all alive.They’d fought a group of two titans after the initial attack.Levi had let the recruits take on the pari themselves as he hung back waiting to fly in if needed.Mikasa had blinded the first one allowing Eren to swoop in and sink his blades into its thick neck.He felt such a rush, a sort of vicious joy as his arms were covered in titan blood.This was the start of his reign of revenge on the titan race.The titan had collapsed beneath him and started to steam.Annie and Reiner had taken out the other titan.After that their patrol had proceeded uninterrupted. They were heading towards an old abandoned town near Lake Ursa, which Eren vaguely recalled from his childhood.

Levi carried out a spot inspection of the camp after the recruits had set up their tents.He was surprised to find that Jaeger’s tent was in perfect order.He’d even tied up the loose ends of the tether ropes in a clean knot that mirrored Levi’s own.Reiner had joked that it was so pretty it looked like an Omega had made it, but Levi had silenced him with a withering stare before ordering him to prepare dinner for the entire squad.

After ordering Sasha to redo her crib (this time with tucked in edges) he dismissed the corp for the day.Levi went back to his own tent to let himself rest after the days events.Pulling out the maps of the region Levi re-familiarised himself with the nearby terrain.Hours quickly passed and he had to light a candle to continue his study.

There was a strong wind that night.Eren lay awake in his tent staring at the canvas ceiling a few feet above him.He had been stuck with Jean as a tent mate, and his snores were keeping him up as Eren replayed the days events through his mind.How the man across from himcould sleep like that after what he went through earlier Eren had no clue.Eren felt like his heart was still racing from the fear and excitement of the fighting that had taken place.Every so often the wind would pick up and he could hear the branches bend with the force.

Unable to fall asleep, he tossed and turned on his mat.Eventually he gave up with sleep and decided to go for a night time walk to soothe his mind.

He threw on a heavy jacket and made his way to the tent opening, carefully avoiding Jean on his way out.

There was relatively little moonlight outside but his eyes had adjusted to the dark.He decided to walk to the clearing they had passed earlier on the ridge overlooking Lake Ursa.There was a small hill there that gave a good vantage point during the day light.

The cool air blew on his face, but the jacket kept him warm as he made his way out of camp. 

Walking through the trees Eren passed the pack horses that were now resting from the day’s ride.

Coming out from under the tree canopy Eren suddenly had a wide view across the lake.There was only a very faint reflection on the surface of the crescent moon.The stars however were brighter than ever and shone all around.He stood there and looked up at them.The stars always made Eren feel at peace.Time was inconsequential to them.He recalled his father explaining that the most distant records showed that the stars had barely changed during the history of humanity.

“Couldn’t sleep?”

Eren jumped and emitted a yelp.He spun around in the darkness and peered into the shadows behind him.A figure took a few paces forward and Eren saw Levi’s silhouette come into form.

“Did you just yelp?” Levi asked.

“Ahh maybe, you startled me, sorry Sir,” Eren said.

“Don’t worry, I’m not a demon.You can relax Eren, you’re off duty now.”

Levi stood next to Eren, looking past him and down to the lake below them.The wind picked up behind them and Levi pulled his coat closer against himself in the cool night air.

“Thank you sir, uh Levi, Jean’s snoring was keeping me up and I thought I would get in some fresh air,” Eren said.

Eren could feel an unusual buzz standing so close to Levi again. _What would his skin feel like to touch?_ _Soft?_ _God why am I such a creep!Stop thinking about a man’s skin._

“Yeah you drew the short straw with that one I’m afraid,” Levi said emitting a small chuckle, in which Eren joined him.

“Have you been to the Lake before?It looks so still despite the wind.”The huge black mass of the water stretched out before them.The surface disturbed by the gusts but not so much to create any waves.

“Just once.I heard it’s deeper than it looks.That you can’t reach the bottom in the centre even if you dive.”Levi answered.

Eren thought of how it would feel to sink into the depths there and shuddered.

“The bottom of that lake must be freezing.”He said.

“Mmm,” Levi hummed in assent.

"There's something weird about this lake... It's oddly, familiar?"

"You might have seen a picture of it."

"Yeah, maybe, but ... no you're probably right."

Levi peered at him from the corner of his eye.

“Do you swim Sir? I've never tried. I remember reading that betas are actually better swimmers than Alphas due to their weight to muscle ratio.”

“Which textbook did you learn that in?”

“Uh, I think we learned it—“

“You don’t need to answer that.”

It felt nice for Eren to stand here and enjoy the peaceful night with Levi.He didn’t want to admit it but Levi had become a frequent visitor to his dreams, never in an overtly sexual way, but in a persistent way.Eren felt a pull towards the shorter man and he resisted the urge to reach out and put his arm around Levi.

“I prefer to stay dry.I heard they once took boats out on this lake,”Levi said.

“Like the canal boats?”

“All sorts, boats powered by oar, boats powered by wind.”

“I want to see that.”

“Why want for somethingyou know you’ll never see?”

Eren laughed.

“Are all your dreams limited to the realm of the possible Sir?”

“They are.”

“Sounds like you need some inspiration.One day we can build new boats.”

“Tch.”

They were silent for a time.Eren wondered what Levi was thinking.He was so closed it was difficult to know.Eren struggled to tell if Levi was happy or sad, unsettled or calm.Eren felt like a single soldier standing at the base of tower wondering how he’d ever pry open the gates.

“You got some good hits in today,”Levi said.

Eren beamed in the darkness.“I’m learning from the best,” he said.

“Tch.” 

Eren couldn’t see his face but he knew he had made Levi smile.Eren was almost overcome with the urge to lean into Levi then.Levi had no scent, but there was something else, some sort of current or present his body was giving off that seemed to envelope Eren’s body and protect him against the night.He took the smallest step to stand closer to him.

That was enough.Enough for now.They continued to stand there.To share the silence in comfort.

***

It was three days later when the squad crossed the final valley to bring base back into view. 

Levi was leading the recruits back from their first official operation and now that he could see the base’s walls in front of him he could finally breathe a sigh of relief.Apart from cuts, bruises and a bit of exhaustion they were all in pretty good shape — a rare event for a group of rookies.His horse, Shadow, was starting to tire after the journey and he would be happy when he could rope him up in the stables and give the animal some rest.

Leading the party through the gates he was surprised that no one was around apart from the two sentries on the barricade.

“OK squad, good work on making it back in one piece,” Levi said addressing the recruits.

“Kirstein and Blause you attend to the equipment.The rest of you tend to the horses, then you’re dismissed for the day.”

“Yes sir!” The squad said in unison.

Levi headed up the main path towards the central office to give his report to Erwin before he retired for the day, but when he got there Levi found that the office was empty.Rather than wait around for eyebrows to return he decided that he would head towards the canteen and get a proper lunch after days of dry rations.

“Levi!” Petra called out.Levi spun around to see the brunette running towards him her hands full of medical supplies.

“Help me with this… it’s Mike’s squad, they were ambushed by abnormals,” Petra’s voice was thick with emotion as she thrust bandages and other gear towards him.

Levi didn’t have time to respond before Petra was running towards the hospital building.He followed behind her.

The base housed over 400 people, including the main Scout corp and all the associated teams that supported them, including a small hospital team that treated injuries and wounds.

Entering the hospital, Levi heard shouting and running from the wards within.Looking in the first ward, he was met with absolute chaos inside. It looked like there were 8 wounded solders on beds in the room, maximum capacity for their small hospital facility.Some of them were bleeding out and the white sheets were stained red.It was obvious that two of them were already too far gone to work on.The two Alpha doctors were on hand, plus Hange and Moblit, who covered medical duties when not in the science wing.They were each shouting orders to the small team of Omega nurses who were tending to the wounded.

“Hand me those bandages,” Hange yelled seeing Levi enter.He obliged as a meek Omega nurse stepped forward to take them from him.

Levi saw Erwin at the end of the room conversing with one of the patients.

“You’re saying she actually protected her nape during the attacks?” Erwin asked.Levi saw he was talking to Mike who was on the bed below him.He looked pretty beaten up, split eyebrow, split lip, a chipped tooth.Levi breathed in sharply when he saw his left forearm was missing replaced by a bandaged stub.

“It was more than that… Erwin, it was like she was a trained fighter.She had… technique.It was.She was beyond us,”Mike replied in staggered breaths.

Erwin looked across at Levi.Neither of them had personally fought with the Giant Titan or the Colossal Titan that day when the attack on Shiganshina had taken place, but they were very familiar with the reports from the soldiers who did.The way the Colossal Titan moved with purpose and targeted the gates.

“Do you think she is one of them,” Levi asked?

“It sounds very likely,” Erwin responded.They’d discussed what they would do if they ever encountered an intelligent titan, but the reality was they had no idea what they could do to actually take one down.Hange was developing a new type of explosive spear device that could potentially be rolled out on a mass scale and used to trap such a titan, but it was still being developed.Levi stepped aside as an Omega returned to refill the drip that a doctor had set up for Mike.

He looked around the room at the devastation that one titan had reaped on Mike’s squad.Hange was giving CPR to one of the soldiers next to Mike, it looked like it might have been Dieter, but Levi could hardly recognise the mutilated face.The Omega nurse was holding Dieter’s hand and Levi noticed she was softly crying … typical.Omegas were thought to be particularly skilled healers, but Levi couldn’t stand this sort of emotional response.

“We’re losing him,” Hange shouted.Levi was surprised to see her eyes too were also wet and her voice cracking.

“You can rest Mike, Levi and I will get a full debriefing from you when you’re up to it,” Erwin said. 

Erwin and Levi moved to exit the room to give the health workers space to operate.

Levi walked down the steps of the building leaving the scene behind him.His own emotions were generally quite muted, which he took as an effect of the suppressants. Generally he wavered between ambivalence and a slight anxiety or to a dull sense of depression, but it was a long time since he felt genuinely sad or distraught or fearful.Human suffering and loss of people were the norm in his life.The scene he had just witnessed was a continuation of that.He recalled the way emotions used to rule his mind when he was a young adolescent growing up in the underground.Mostly the fear that would creep in at night or the anger at being a prisoner in that subterranean city.Sometimes he would recall that sense of overwhelming grief that had come down on him when Kuchel had died in that room with him.That paralysis that had overtaken his heart and mind.Now there was a gentle blandness to his emotional range, something he shared with Erwin, though god knows what had caused the head Scout to reach this point without the drugs.Hange was the complete opposite with her gawking laughter or the sob he had heard her emit just now.He had lost laughter from his life, but that was ok if it meant he’d lost the tears too.

He was startled from his thoughts, by Jaeger and Artlert running towards him.

“Captain!We’ve just heard about the attach on Zacharias’ squad!?Are they ok?” Eren said, his voice full of emotion.

Levi had drawn out a cigarette and reached up to light it whilst looking over both Arlert and Jaeger.

“No.”


	3. Momentum

_"Like a bird on the wire_

_Like a drunk in a midnight choir_

_I have tried in my way to be free"_

(Bird on the wire - L. Cohen)

_November 850_

Levi peered down at his boot.The black leather had been polished and shined to perfection earlier that morning.Now, however, his boot was no longer clean.Blood was smeared across the toe.Alpha blood. 

_Maybe I got too carried away in there._

He had been angry.He told himself he was angry at the revelation that Eren was a shifter—he could still remember the shock and disbelief when a rider had arrived at the eastern outpost with the fantastic story about the events at Trost and summoning him to the capital.He told himself he was angry that he had not discovered this monumental fact about one of his own recruits by himself.Surely there must have been some sign that Eren was different, a sign he had obviously failed to notice. He told himself he was angry that Eren’s nature was going to throw added suspicion on the scouts as a whole.

But really, was he angry for those reasons?Or was it something else? 

Maybe it was the way that Eren’s dumb Alpha face had seemed to pop up in Levi’s mind with increasing frequency.That dumb Alpha laugh and that dumb Alpha voice that he would tend to hear in his mind before drifting off to sleep or in the first moments when waking up.He was increasingly inescapable.

So when Erwin had suggested that he adopt the role of bad cop during the public trial Levi had embraced the idea enthusiastically. It had been pretty cathartic beating up on Jaeger, an Alpha, in front of a crowd. 

However, now that he’d calmed down he felt nothing but guilt and embarrassment looking at his once clean boots.He had apologised to Eren who had graciously accepted the apology, as Erwin explained the purpose behind the charade, and he was glad to learn from Hange that Eren had the ability to swiftly heal his injuries.

What was it about this guy that brought out these emotions in Levi?He hadn’t felt anger like that in years.The normally grayscale world he lived in seemed to fill with vibrancy whenever Jaeger entered the room.

_Must be a titan thing._

He’d try to process these event more thoroughly later when he was in the comfort of his own room.For now he’d just focus on cleaning this boot.

***

_February 851_

“Uh paperwork duty again?” Eren asked grimacing.

“Yeah! We need to review the expedition summaries over the past four years and update the coordinates of the supply routes to reflect titan sightings,” Armin exclaimed, excitedly.

The two recruits had very different views on the merits of the the task ahead of them.It was the middle of winter and so their routines had varied to include more indoor tasks.The heavy snow limited expeditions and maintenance to only critical missions and activities, but Erwin had ensured that the recruits would be kept busy to avoid any sense of cabin fever.Eren and Armin had entered the filing office of the Scouts which was a large room at the far end of the west wing of base.

After the events at frost and in the capital, life had slowly returned to normal for Eren, well as normal as things could get for a titan shifter.He was relieved that most of the scouts had accepted him for who he was after the great reveal, although there were still some wild rumours flying around.

The morning’s fire had greatly depleted so Eren added some more kindling to rebuild it before he placed two oak logs on the flames.Armin had retrieved the files they needed to review and laid them out methodically on one of the long tables at the back of the room.A soft light came in through the windows from the cloudy sky outside and Eren shuddered at the chill still lingering in the room.

“If we start at the North-East quadrant outside Maria we can work clockwise around the maps” Armin said.

Eren stared at the voluminous piles in front of him.

“I miss coffee,” he sighed.The base had run out last week and the next delivery would not be until the next Monday.

Armin took the initiative and divvied the reports between himself and Eren as they both started reading and marking up the maps before them.Eren started reading through each of the reports in detail.He had by now become used to the macabre reading, with each report having to list in detail the manner of deaths and injuries that befell each expedition.Broken spines, severed limbs and crushed corpses were littered throughout the reports, and each marked solemnly on the terrain maps before them.The volumes of reports slowly lowered as the day passed, although he noticed Armin had gone through almost twice as many as he had.Eren’s schooling had been greatly disrupted, like most of his peers, and he hadn’t had Armin’s enthusiasm for self study whilst they’d been in the Rose ghetto.Eren got up to tend to the fire when he heard the door open.

“Jaeger.Artlert.” Levi said entering the room.

Both men leapt to attention.

“Captain,” they said in unison, giving a salute.

“As you were.”

Levi moved over to the wooden shelves at the far end of the room and began retrieving some of the reports on the recent weapon changes Hange had made.He took them to one of the smaller desks in the middle of the room and began to read them.

Eren watched him from the corner of his eye as he stoked the flames.He was furiously trying to think of something to say.

“Uh, did you have a good breakfast sir?” Eren asked. 

“No.”

 _I’m an Idiot_.

Levi was wearing a fresh cravat and his hair seemed to shine.The pale skin, gently illuminated in the soft light of the room, was almost pale as the snow falling on the grounds outside.Eren returned to his seat and resumed the reports.He tried to avoid looking at Levi, but every time he heard him move or turn a page his eyes would flick up before Eren hurriedly averted his gaze.

“Oh christ,” Armin said softly.Eren spun around worried his friend had caught him staring but he saw he was absorbed in the report.

“What?” Eren whispered.

“This is the report from the failed evacuation of Minas Shina Omega refuge on the day after Wall Maria fell,” Armin said softly.

“What happened?”

“You don’t know?There were over fifty Omegas who were staying in the refuge and were in heat when the attack happened.Most of the Beta guards fled during the initial wave of titan attacks.When the Scouts found out they sent in a squad to try to evacuate them, but when they got there they found that several Alphas had broken in and killed the guards, before assaulting the Omegas there.”

“What the fuck?”

Eren felt his stomach churn at the thought of the unprotected Omegas being in such a vulnerable state during the titan attack, only to then be set upon by a gang of scum Alphas.

“The report says that the Scouts fought off the gang, but the noise attracted a group of nearby titans.”

“Stop Armin.I can’t hear any—”

“Can’t hear what Jaeger?” Levi said.He was upright in his chair, looking at both of them through narrow eyes.

“Uh sorry sir, we were discussing—”

“Can’t hear the details of a failed expedition?”

“Uh no sir, it’s just—”

“Can’t bear reading through an account of what your comrades actually lived through that day?”

“It’s the report on the Minas Shina Omega evacuation!” Eren said, trying to dampen the annoyance in his voice at being cut-off.

“What makes it different from any of those other reports,” Levi said flatly, gesturing down the table.

“They were Omegas sir!They’d taken refuge for their heats,” Eren said, trying to tone down the emotion that was creeping out of his throat.

“Does that make their deaths special?Tens of thousands died that day.”

“They should have been protected Sir!”

Levi strode over to Eren. “Gender doesn’t determine the value of a life Jaeger.”

“It’s not about gender Sir, it’s about ability, they wouldn’t have been able to escape or defend themselves.”

Levi’s breath seemed to hitch.

“Your oath is to protect every citizen within the Walls, we don’t give Omegas special treatment.I don’t want to have to question your judgement.You need to read through those reports so we can learn from past mistakes, not so you can fawn over some Omega-rescue fantasy in your head,”Levi said slowly.

Eren felt his face going red. Why was the Captain so callous towards Omegas?He knew that as a Beta Levi probably didn’t have the same instincts that he did towards them, but still?

“Yes sir,” Eren said lowly, eyes returning down to the report in front of him

The three of them spent most of the afternoon in silence.Eren waned between wanting to ignore Levi after his remarks earlier and wanting to say something to clear the air between them. After a few hours Levi left them and both junior recruits saluted him as he exited the room.

“God, he was in a mood,” Eren said once he was sure Levi was out of hearing vicinity.

“Hmm… he was,” Armin replied.Eren noticed his friend seemed lost in deep thought, but that he seemed to have stopped reading his reports, instead he was gazing at the chair that Levi had occupied.

“C’mon let’s see if we can get a snack, I’m starving.”

“You’re always starving!”

“I’m growing!”

“Ok, but let’s make it quick.”

The two of them left the room and headed to the kitchens to see if there were any leftovers from lunch remaining.The snow continued to pile up on the ledgers outside as the reports lay open on the tables.The maps now filled with red marks.

***

Levi stood under his shower for an extra 10 minutes that night.He was pretty mortified at the day’s events.Why had he gotten so worked up hearing Jaeger talk about Omegas?He hadn’t really even said anything offensive, he’d just stated plain facts, but it had set Levi off. His reaction must have seemed so bizarre to the juniors. In reality, Levi had been on edge since the moment he’d walked into the room.He hadn’t expected to see Jaeger in the records room and he was annoyed at the small happiness he’d felt when he saw the man.Eren had broken out into a wide smile when their eyes had met.Then Levi had felt the Alpha’s eyes in the back of his neck whilst he read the reports on the changes to the sword grips that Hange had made, which meant he kept losing his place in the paragraph.He was about halfway through when his mind wandered off completely and had started to think about the Alpha at the table next to him.He’d started thinking about Eren’s hair, his eyes, the way his large hands held the pen between those long fingers. 

_I wonder whether his hands are warm?_

When Eren and Armin had started talking, he’d snapped out of the trance.Levi was suddenlyovercome with a sense of morbid embarrassment at the daydream.What was he, a pubescent adolescent?Levi was angry at the Alpha for entering his mind and wanted to lash out. Then he heard Eren say something about some poor Omega and he just snapped a bit.

Now standing under the water, Levi was trying to loosen his muscles and release the stress of the day.Levi tried meditating to clear his mind, but the more he tried to think of nothing, the more Eren’s voice would fill the void. 

“This is definitely a problem,” he said aloud to no-one.

... _It's time Levi, come back to him ..._

He jumped and slipped on the tiles, barely grabbing the handle in time to stop him falling. 

"Who's there?!"

There was no reply. He turned the tap off and stilled himself in the shower, but there were no signs of life. That voice. Was it in his head? Who did it sound like?

***

_June 851_

“Yo, Annie, when are we going to get to see those famous dance moves we’ve heard so much about.”

“The only time I’ll dance is if it’s over your grave, Connie.”

“Aww c’mon, it’s the recruitment celebration, it’s pretty much the only party we get all year.”

“Hmphh,” Annie vocalised, turning to walk away.

It had been almost full year since Eren’s cohort had joined the Scouts and they were now welcoming the next batch of recruits.Erwin had decided the Scouts should try and make the occasion a more joyous event to increase moral and hopefully lead more of the vanguard to join them in the future.He’d even managed to secure a barrel of wine and two barrels of ale that appeared to have ‘fallen’ off the back of a wagon heading to the interior.It was late June and summer had finally arrived with its long nights.The Omegas had decorated the outdoor assembly area for the occasion and set up tables around a large central bonfire.

Levi was seated next to Mike and Erwin and looking out over the seating area.Mike had recovered from his injuries, although could no longer use OMD equipment due to the loss of his arm. 

Levi was amazed that his full team of recruits from last year was still here, alive and from the looks of it, having a pretty good time.The combination of Erwin’s new tactics and improvements in their OMD gear and weaponry by Hange had made expeditions a lot safer.Provided they didn’t run into any of the intelligent titans they generally were pretty safe. This meant Levi now actually had to get to know the names of the recruits in order to keep track of the growing squadron.

Levi studied the tables down the side of the hall where his team were sitting.Reiner and Jean were engaged in an arm wrestle.They had both put on considerable size during the year and were both cocky to show off their Alpha musculature.After beating Jean, Reiner sculled his flagon of ale and let out a loud belch, leading to a mixture of laughter and groans from the table.One of the Omega waitresses came by to refill Reiner’s glass and Levi watched with disgust as he saw the Alpha spank her on the ass, leading to further laughter and further groans.Thankfully Mikasa was there and quickly kicked Reiner off his chair before escorting the waitress away from the table.

Levi’s eyes suddenly caught Eren’s, the Alpha was staring at him intensely from across the flames of the fire.As their eyes met, Eren quickly turned away and Levi could make out a faint blush.Levi scowled.Their little eye games had become a more common occurrence as time had passed.After their awkward interaction in the records room that day, Eren seemed to have quickly reverted to his bright and happy self.

Levi was pained to admit that he had come to appreciate Eren as a competent team member.He was a hard worker and gave his all to his work.Levi also enjoyed the fact that Eren no longer forced small talk between them.But Levi didn’t appreciate how Eren appeared to be almost constantly watching him.These moments happened all the time around base and on mission and it was slightly unsettling that he took so keen an interest in Levi’s actions.

“Well looks like the wine and ale might have been too much for the second years,” Mike said, “they’re out of practice.”

“They’ll be fine.We need them to remember that life isn’t an endless struggle, that they can enjoy these short moments of peace.”Erwin replied.

“Who are you and what have you done with Erwin Smith?”Hange asked, her cheeks red with a wine-y glow.

“Well you should really all thank Levi for this,” Erwin said.

“What? I had no involvement in this eyebrows.”

“Well you were the one that suggested I remove the stick out of my ass and learn to ‘chill the fuck out’, if I recall correctly.”

The response caused Levi to laugh, joining in with the rest of the officers on the table.

“Let’s just make sure the Omegas are not getting harassed too much,” Mike said, “that scent sure is something.”

“Oh they look like they’re enjoying themselves, you worry too much Mike,” Hange said.A few of the Omega waitresses were giggling to themselves and making eyes at a group of Alphas in the new recruits.

“Well you’re on babysitting duty Zacharias, just make sure they get back to their homes by 11,” Erwin said.

Levi looked at the Omegas from his chair.They were each quite pretty and he had seen many of the Alphas almost fall over themselves for the chance of the briefest of interactions throughout the night.They were each dressed in fairly plain waitressing uniforms, but Levi could tell they were relatively beautiful nonetheless.The three of them all appeared to be enjoying themselves, often stopping for a little flirt or tease with the recruits.Their eyes and hair were bright and healthy and their bodies were curvier than most of the female Alphas and Betas in the room.One of them had placed her arm on Eren’s back and had apparently told a joke as the table erupted in cheers and laughter.The female Omega giggled and laughed along.

Levi felt his skin crawl watching the scene.What was their purpose here this evening?They were entirely ornamental.Levi was sure that none of the Omegas in the hall could defend even themselves if they were ever required to, let alone defend another person.They were limited to providing some light relief.Erwin had arranged their presence tonight as an extra treat for the recruits, a form of very light soft-core porn for the Alphas to enjoy.It was nauseating just to watch.

“Excuse me, I’m going for a cigarette,”Levi took his leave and walked away from the table.The music and raucous cheering blissfully dampened as he walked through a crop of trees that separated the assembly area from the Mess Hall.

He pulled his jacket tight around his slender frame as he stepped into the night.There was next to no cloud cover and the stars lit up the night sky.Venus was especially bright tonight.His hand fumbled slightly as he reached for his lighter.Levi rarely interacted with other Omegas and it was always unsettling when he did so.A vision into what his life might be like if his secret was ever discovered.As he lit up the cigarette he felt the smoke start to calm his nerves. 

After a few minutes he heard footsteps and turned to see Eren’s face.

“Captain.”

_What timing._

“Jaeger.”

“It’s a nice night out here.”

“It is.”

“Could I ah,”Eren paused, “borrow a cigarette?”

“Do you intend to give it back after you’ve smoked it”

“Ah no,” Eren said rubbing the back of his neck.

“Tch.”Levi opened the case and handed it to the Alpha.

Taking out a cigarette Eren stepped forward so he was directly in front of Levi.Their height difference meant Levi was looking directly at Eren’s collarbone.Then Eren bent down as he carefully touched his cigarette to the end of Levi’s own to light it from the ember.Eren’s eyes flicked up from the cigarette and stared into Levi’s.Levi was so surprised by the move that he simply froze. 

Levi felt the heat emanating out from from Eren’s body and that weird current running through his body.Levi broke the stare and turned away to look out on the night sky. 

Eren stood by his side.

Levi didn’t like this feeling.He felt like he was being drawn to Eren, like a compass being deflected by a magnet.He didn’t know why, but despite the Alpha’s brash way of forcing himself into Levi’s personal space, he realised he enjoyed his company.He wanted to press up against him.To feel Eren’s arm wrap around his own shoulder.

Levi stood there waiting for the brat to break the silence with some remark about their next expedition or the new recruits.But, frustratingly, Eren didn’t say anything.He had learned that Levi generally preferred silence over talking.The fact that Eren had picked up on this was both endearing and annoying.Endearing because Levi did in fact enjoy standing there with him in silence.Annoying because it showed Eren had the perceptiveness to understand Levi.Little by little he could feel Eren advance into his life.

What else would Eren see if Levi let him stare too long?Levi gazed at the Alpha out of the corner of his eye.

***

Eren had stood still for three minutes without saying anything at all, a feat which he was very proud of.He deeply enjoyed these moments.When he would get to enjoy Levi’s company on his own, without anyone around.He didn’t know why he enjoyed them so immensely, Levi was not exactly ‘fun’ to be around, but he did.It wasn’t as if Levi had some alluring scent — Eren could hardly smell the Beta at all — that led him on, but he was… captivating?Eren didn’t know exactly what he felt about Levi.He had never felt … attracted(?) to a man before and he wasn’t sure if he was now, maybe it was just an evolved form of hero worship.But there was some invisible tug that would cause Eren’s head to turn whenever Levi entered a room and just being near him often caused a weird tingling sensation in his chest, or sometimes lower. Despite the fact that Levi rarely said anything of consequence to him, he always left these moments feeling refreshed and a bit high.Eren could see the Captain was looking at him with the corner of his eye and smiled to himself.

After another few minutes, Levi silently turned and walked back towards the assembly area.Eren followed in his wake.

***


	4. A fight

_"Give me back the Berlin wall_

_Give me Stalin and St. Paul_

_I've seen the future, brother_

_It is murder"_

(The Future - L. Cohen)

_September 851_

“Kirstein, ride out to the squad C and let them know we’ll take the forest route, then circle back and meet us at the entrance — don’t make us wait” Levi ordered.

“Yes Captain,” Jean answered and rode away.

Levi led the arrow formation of his troops directly ahead through the deserted town.Mikasa, Reiner, Bertholt, Eren, Sasha, Connie and Thomas were riding behind him.They’d left base about two hours ago and so far had seen a number of red flares signalling titan battles were taking place across the squadron.So far, Levi’s team had been lucky to avoid any direct confrontations.They were travelling heavy with camping gear and enough supplies to last them two weeks if required.The plan was to reestablish the south-eastern base of the Scouts that overlooked the forest of giant trees at the foothills of the mountains beyond.

The sun had just passed over midday when they came to the Rose river that they would follow south to the forest.The river was broad at this point and its current quite calm.

Levi’s eyes scanned the horizon on the lookout for any threats.The grass was green and thick with summer rains which slowed the horses.His eyes were trained on this distance, when a ripple of earth suddenly flew up.

Levi was disoriented as he felt himself tossed up into the air vertically whilst his horse screamed out beneath him. He jumped off the saddle and flew through the air trying to work out what had happened. 

Levi somersaulted several times before he righted himself and flipped around to see a huge titan emerge from the earth.The titan’s thick skin was covered with dirt and mud as only half of its torso emerged.The arm of the titan had partially broken the river bank, diverting a torrent of water towards them.Levi saw the beast’s eyes scan over them as it emitted a deep hollow growl.

Reiner and Sasha had also been thrown from their horses and appeared disoriented, whilst the rest of the squad had managed to divert in time. 

Levi shot out his hook shot into the Titan’s back and launched himself in the air, swords drawn.

Air rushed by him as he gauged up the curve of the Titan’s back.Swinging upwards, Levi quickly cut its spinal cord and blood spewed forth, raining down on the ground below.

Levi landed on the ground and quickly surveyed the scene.

Mikasa had rushed to help Sasha.Connie was assisting Reiner to refit his horse’s saddle. 

Levi looked over to his horse, Shadow, and his breath caught.The grey horse was whimpering in pain and it was clear that his front leg was broken.

Eren had run over to the horse and was petting its neck trying to calm it after the shock.Levi walked over with a wince as his leg muscles cramped from the sudden unexpected exertion.

“The break looks clean,”Eren said quietly.

Levi squatted down beside Shadow and saw where the bone had snapped.The horse wouldn’t be able to carry him again, or any other human, but if they cared for the break then he would possibly survive.Levi spent 15 minutes fashioning a splint and cleaning the wound.They would need to leave his horse here and hope that the weather stayed hospitable while they were away.Shadow would have plenty of grass and fresh water nearby, but if the wound got infected while they were away then there was nothing they would be able to do to save him.

“Ok squad regroup.” Levi called and the squad huddled around.“We are one horse down, any other injuries?”

“I’m fine sir,”Reiner answered.

“Me too,” Sasha said, “but my horse also injured itself, his rear foot is damaged.”

“Okay, given we still have our gear and six horses for the eight of us, we should still press on, Sasha you can ride with Mikasa.I’ll ride with—”

“You can ride with me sir!” Eren shouted.The squad’s heads all turned to look at Eren in surprise, who suddenly blushed bright red. “Wind is the strongest horse in the group Sir and I’m not carrying the extra supplies that Jean and Reiner are!”

Levi looked annoyed.

_If I accept I’m going to be pretty much plastered to him for the rest of the day, but if I say no they’ll wonder why._

“Right, Jaeger I’ll ride with you.”

Levi followed Eren to his horse.The saddles were made slightly longer to cater for this exact occurrence, but it was still going to be very close fit.Eren had grown into a strong young man since he joined the Scouts and his muscles bulged beneath his uniform.Levi jumped up first then felt Eren swing in behind him.Levi was suddenly filled with regret as he felt Eren’s hands wrap around him to reach the saddle grips whilst Levi grabbed the reins.

Levi could feel his whole back press against Eren’s warm body, heat transcending their uniforms, and despite the shock of the unexpected titan battle Levi found himself soothed and calmed by the touch.

Levi tried to focus his energy on the ride ahead and to clamp down the silent feelings of joy that seemed to be escaping from some forgotten part of his mind.

***

Eren did not think this through. 

When he realised that Levi would need to share a horse he immediately volunteered.But he was now realising what exactly that would entail. The saddle only had grips on the front so Eren needed to thread his arms under Levi’s own to hold on.His biceps touching his captain’s narrow waist in an almost-hug.There was only a single inch between them in the saddle, which Eren was desperately trying to maintain, but with every stride they would be lifted up and thrust together.Eren felt Levi’s butt press back into his crotch.Somehow their expedition had turned into the opening to a pornographic cartoon.What would happen if his Captain felt Eren start to bone up?Eren tried everything to distract himself from the rhythmic rubbing of Levi’s ass, but this didn’t seem to help.God, Eren was praying for anything to save them now, even if it was another subterranean titan attack.

What was really scary though was just how much Eren’s Alpha seemed to be enjoying this.Eren didn’t know why he reacted so strongly towards the Beta, but just the chance to be near him was like a tiny hit of crack.Now, being able to feel the smaller man totally pressed against him, being able to practically embrace him in a full body hug, well it was good stuff.Eren couldn’t stop himself as he eventually leaned in further to stop their bodies bouncing and pressed himself up against Levi so that they moved in unison.He tried to focus on the mission but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the pale neck in front of him.He moved in further and breathed in deep.It was odd that Levi had virtually no unique smell.Betas scent glands were small but they were still there.

***

Levi was furious.He wasn’t sure at who, whether it was himself or Jaeger, but he was furious at one, or maybe both of them.Why had he agreed to this?After an awkward minute or two, Eren had given up on maintaining the distance and had pulled himself into Levi and Levi had…he had…oh god, he’d purred. He had turned bright red and prayed that the sound of the horse’s hooves had drowned it out.What was wrong with him? 

Despite his mental anguish, his body was sending him a totally different message.He involuntarily found himself resting back into Jaeger’s chest.With every stride the horse took he could feel his chest bump against Eren’s thick arms. 

_I wonder what it would feel like if he wrapped them around me?_

No! Jesus. Levi was in trouble.He looked out at the terrain ahead of them.Of course the titans would choose this time to totally fuck off and let them ride together in peace.Levi felt a discomfort in his crotch as he realised he had an erection.This was mortifying.Levi didn’t get erections and he didn’t masturbate.The supressants had totally muted his sexual appetite, so why on earth was he getting one now during a mission?God he would take on an army of 15 metre beasts just to have some excuse to get out of this situation.

Thankfully Jean reappeared over the ridge at that moment giving Levi something else to focus on.

“Sir, two casualties in Squad C.They are continuing toward target.”

“Good, now swap places with me and share with Jaeger.” Levi ordered.

“Aww I have to ride with Jaeger?”Jean drawled.

“You do,” said Levi coming to a stop and jumping down.

“Get in front Jaeger, you’re the bitch today,” Jean yelled at Eren.

“Fuck you Kirstein, you’re my bitch,” Eren said.

Levi shivered as he heard those words.He didn’t want to think about why.

***

“Connie and Reiner, ride ahead to check for titan tracks.We will follow you up, don’t get out of eyesight,”Levi ordered as they entered the forest.

The canopy blocked out a lot of sunlight and the woods suppressed the wind of the open plains. 

Levi was still trying to restore his focus after the horse incident earlier.The initial embarrassment had been nothing compared to when he had started to feel Eren’s own hardness behind him.Levi had been party amazed at the size it had quickly grown to, stretching down the leg behind him and had felt Eren need to adjust himself twice as it expanded.

He looked ahead at Connie and Reiner running about 200 metres ahead of them.The dirt path being partly overgrown caused the horses to go to single file every so often.They rounded a bend ahead of them.As they followed the bend, the road broadened out, the vegetation here had all been crushed relatively frequently.They had a straight line of sight for about 400 metres, but he couldn’t see Connie or Reiner. 

‘ _Where did they piss off to?’_

“Captain?!” Mikasa called out, her mind instantly going to where Levi’s had.

“OMD gear, now!” Levi shouted, flying up into the canopy. 

“Eren, don’t shift unless I give you the order,” Levi said.

“Yes, Captain,” Eren answered.

***

Eren launched backwards at the command flying away from Jean who had shot himself straight ahead.

“ARRRRGGGGHHHH!”Thomas screamed.

Eren whipped around to see Thomas being stretched apart by a group of 3 metre titans that had jumped out from the nearby undergrowth.Eren shot back to the ground and sliced off the arms of the smaller one allowing Thomas to free himself and shoot back after him.

“REINER!” Eren heard Sasha scream.

There was a rumble as twelve or so 3 metre titan’s smashed down beneath them, one of them was dragging Reiner who looked battered and bruised behind him. Mikasa flew down to behead the titan carrying Reiner.Sasha followed and the two women lifted the broken man up an away from the group.

Before Eren could fly to meet up with them he heard a massive crash as one of the trees to his left toppled down.A massive pink hand emerged and almost grasped him.Eren swung away as the titan side-stepped the group below.

Exposed sinew and bone were grafted across her jaw.Her blonde hair and ice-blue eyes looking strangely human on an otherwise stripped carcass, like a science experiment gone awry.Now those eyes were staring across the clearing at him.

Eren’s heart stopped as he looked up and recognised the titan from the stories he had heard after the massacre of Mike’s squad last year.Once Mike had recovered he had recounted to the entire squadron the description of a dangerous titan that moved like no other he had ever seen, a titan that appeared to have intelligence. 

Suddenly the titan turned to her right as Eren saw Levi flash into view.He had launched from below and his swords were slicing up her arm.  
  
Eren took his chance and shot over the top of the titan as he launched to slice her other arm, but he saw that Connie was already there.He veered off to the right as he saw the titan grab Connie’s wires and throw him to the forest floor like a puppet.

“No!!” Eren screamed, before plunging his swords into the shoulder of the female titan and starting to run down her back as he shot off to the nearest tree.He heard Levi swing out behind him.

Eren was gliding in a semi-circle ready to come back for a second assault as he saw the titan grab Sasha mid-flight before throwing her body against a nearby tree.Eren could hear a crack of bones as his friend made impact against the wooden surface.

Jean was next.He had gone low to try and slice the Titan’s ankle only to have the titan flick his wires around her feet sending him flying.

The corp was in total disarray, they’d never met a titan like this, who could fight with purpose and with an agility other titan’s lacked.

Eren roared with anger as he flew back towards the titan.However he was overtaken by a blur of motion from behind.Levi was moving faster than Eren could hope to.Levi looped under the titan’s right arm and took out all the ligaments around the shoulder joint sending the arm limp.Immediately following, Mikasa went from the other direction and repeated the process on the left.This was Eren’s chance, he swooped and the nape and drove his swords forward, but the metal broke on impact as he saw the skin there crystallised. 

_What was this titan?_

The giant suddenly gave out a gurgled roar and raced away from them as quickly as she’d appeared. 

Eren flew down to where Jean was lying.Blood had spilt down his front and his eye was heavily swollen.Bertolt had already grabbed a med kit and was washing the blood away from his wounds with antiseptic lotion.Eren reached down to grab Jean’s hand in his own as he looked around the scene.

Mikasa had brought Sasha nearby who looked even worse than Jean.Her right arm was splayed out at an odd angle and she was unable to suppress her screams as Mikasa tried to set her dislocated shoulder.  
  
Levi was tending to Connie who was thankfully sitting up already, although his legs looked pretty torn up from getting caught in the OMD cables.Reiner was with him, his face and much of his body covered in blood.Thomas was lying prone next to Connie, Eren couldn’t see his face.

Eren couldn’t breathe properly, rage had filled his veins as he thought of how the titan had toyed with them like they were mice. Then she had made her escape as soon as their counterattack was launched.

After a few minutes, Levi and Reiner carried over Thomas to join the rest of the squad.

“Ok, listen up.Thomas, Sasha and Jean and in critical condition.We’re going to need to make camp here and then get a message for a wagon to take them back to base,” Levi instructed.

“Sir, let me go after her!I can take her in my titan form,”Eren said.

If he let her go there was every chance she would return as soon as she had healed, which would not take her long at all.

“No, Jaeger!Your responsibility is here, we need to make sure the squad is secure until a medic wagon can arrive.”

“She’s our best hope to discover the true nature of the titans Sir, Hange has been saying that all year!We can’t let her escape.She will just come back stronger next time.She is already injured.”

Levi looked torn. Eren was right, if they were able to capture the female titan it would probably be the biggest step forward as to their understanding of titans.It would also ensure she didn’t return later once rested and attack them by surprise.But at the same time Levi had to deal with the immediate issue of his wounded soldiers.If they delayed their treatment there was a risk that they could die.They were depending on him and the rest of the squadron to protect them.

“Forget it Jaeger, these three will need all of us to protect them while they’re so vulnerable.”Levi said.

His first duty was to protect his squad.They put their trust in him and his leadership.He needed to ensure Sasha, Jean and Thomas had the best chance of survival.

“If we don’t take this opportunity now we may never get another one!” Eren yelled.His anger at the titan was taking over.He couldn’t just sit here and wait for her to come back, he needed to fight.He cared deeply for his comrades but he knew that in reality their biggest threat was the female titan.There was no telling how long a wagon would take. Standing over his friends wouldn’t help protect them as long as the female titan lived.More than that, if they let her get away when would they get another chance to capture her and discover her secrets?What if she held the key to this world, to their eventual freedom from the titan race?

“We should be able to watch them,” Bertolt offered cautiously.

“Shut up.Eren you are to stay here and guard the injured,” Levi said menacingly.

“I’m not going to sit here and wait!I’ve got to do this!I can do this!I’m going to stop her!” Eren yelled backing away from the group.

“Eren, stop! ” Levi ordered — but before he had finished Eren had already raised his hand to his mouth.Biting down hard into the flesh, Eren was instantly surrounded by a bright light.

Blinking his eyes in his titan form, Eren turned away from the humans at his feet and set off in pursuit of the female titan.

“Fuck!Mikasa, you’re in charge.You are to stay by the wounded.Bertolt when you’ve rested ride to Squad C and get a message for a medic wagon.I’m going to bring Jaeger back here and will meet you all where we left the horses, by the river, if we’re not back by sundown we will camp and meet you back at base.”

With that Levi leapt into the air and sped away in pursuit of Eren.


	5. The freedom of choice

_For like a baby, stillborn_   
_Like a beast with his horn_   
_I have torn everyone who reached out for me_

(Bird on the Wire - L. Cohen)

Levi heard them before he saw them.A mixture of alien screams and groans.The sound of huge animals fighting and walls of muscle and bone colliding.

When he finally caught glimpse of them he gagged as he saw the bloody scene in front of him.The female titan had lost an arm and an eye, whilst Eren’s jaw was partially removed.Levi slowed down and found a branch to observe the scene until he could get an opening.

What would possess Eren to run off towards this beast alone?He couldn’t reconcile the usually calm and pensive manner of his officer with these fits of rage that seemed to totally consume Eren from time to time.It was like watching a person peel off all their inhibitions and bare themselves and their fury for all the world to see.

Levi was beyond angry at Eren’s direct insubordination of his order and his apparent selfishness at leaving his squad, but his feelings were mixed with almost a sense of awe at the intensity with which Eren had pursued, and now with which he was fighting, their mutual enemy.Eren appeared to be now less motivated by glory or even honour, but by more primal instincts.

Eren and the female titan appeared pretty evenly matched in melee combat.The female titan somehow holding her own even with only one arm left.Eren launched a roundhouse punch at the titan, but she ducked in time before bringing up a knee that knocked the wind out of Eren.

Falling to the ground, the female titan rolled on top of him and started savagely beating Eren’s face.

Levi took his chance and sailed across.He could see her nape bare and waiting as he went in close for the kill.Suddenly his vision went black as he felt himself get hit by a moving wall.Eren hadn’t seen Levi and had thrown out his hand to try and block the titan’s blows.Levi tried to launch a new hookshot from his OMD but before he could he felt himself slam into the ground and a searing pain shot through his leg.

***

Eren saw him too late.He’d interrupted his flight path and his arm had collided with Levi’s small body.Eren watched in horror as he saw his Captain fall to the ground below and stop moving.

CRACK!

The female titan had smashed his skull again.

Eren roared in fury. Grabbing her arm in one hand and her neck in the other he flipped them so he was looking down into those pale blue eyes.He felt all the anger course down his veins and into his grip as he tightened his arms around the titan’s throat, her face going red as the blood pooled in her head, squirting from the eye socket in great waves.This is it, he would end it now.It would just be a few seconds more.

But before he could get his kill, Eren saw the group of 3 metre titans they had fought earlier rush into the clearing. They were falling over one another as they ran towards Levi’s lifeless body. 

‘No!’ Eren yelled.Releasing his grip he leapt on Levi and grasped his body safely in his hands.The female titan leapt to her feet and ran swiftly from the clearing.Eren screamed in frustration.He kicked the 3 metre titans away trying to protect Levi, however he saw three 15-metres coming towards them now.Without Levi he could take them easily, but he couldn’t keep the human safe and fight them all at the same time.So he turned and ran.

Eren ran until he couldn’t hear the titans anymore, until his feet were bloody and his breath ragged.

He’d lost his enemy, but at least he hadn’t lost Levi.He came across a rocky outcrop where the forest met the mountain range and recognised a cave amongst the rocks that had remnants of camp fires in the clearing at its front.They had camped here a couple of months ago during a training mission.

Very gently he unwrapped his arms and placed Levi to the ground.Then Eren concentrated and resumed his human form.

***

Levi came to slowly.His head was foggy and vision blurred.He gradually made out that he was lying on the ground next to a massive granite boulder.He looked around and tried to remember how he had got here.Finally his eyes found Eren kneeling beside him looking very sheepish.

“Are you OK, Captain?”Eren asked.

The fight.Levi had gone after him.

“What the fuck Jaeger? What was that?” Levi said, coughing.

“I’m sorry sir, I lost control.”

“Yeah no shit! Where are we?Where the hell is the titan?”

“She escaped again sir.I carried you here, it’s a cave we camped at previously.”

“Well let’s get going, it’s almost sundown!”Levi said as he went to stand, but he winced as he looked down at his leg.

“I’m sorry sir, I think it’s broken,” Eren said quietly.

“Oh perfect.This is why we don’t split up and run after the enemy whenever we feel like it Jaeger.”

“Yes Captain, sorry sir” Eren said apologetically.

“Hand me my napsack.” 

“Here you go.” 

“Not my rationbag, the napsack.”

“Uh this is the only bag you had on you sir,” Eren said hesitating.

“What are you talking about, I always carry my emergency kit in my napsack idiot.”Levi looked around them and felt his back for the missing bag.

“Uh it’s ok sir, I’ve got a med kit in mine you can use, but I’ve already cleaned your wounds,”Eren said.

Levi looked about frantically for the bag. 

He’d been due to take a suppressant a few hours ago but had been distracted by the attack on the horses.He always carried an emergency supply on him on a small napsack that he tied to his back straps.Levi looked back to Eren who was still staring at him.

“This isn’t funny, where the fuck is it Jaeger?” Levi barked at him.

“Ah I’m not joking sir, I didn’t see any bag on you after the fight.”

“FUCK!” Levi screamed.He covered his face with his hands.

“Fuck off and leave me in peace, I don’t want to look at you now.”Levi shouted at him.Eren jumped back, wounded by the depth of the hatred he could hear in his Levi's voice.

“Yes sir.I’m sorry sir.I’ll clean up the camp and try to find us something for dinner,” the Alpha said eyes down cast as he backed away.

***

When Levi was alone he concentrated on his heart rate and tried to get his breathing back under control.Freaking out would not help the situation.

He gazed down at his body and noticed the clean bandages that were placed over his wounds.They appeared to have been applied with considerable attention and care.He hissed to himself.How could he let himself lose the bag.Stupid.Why had he even run after the brat?He should have let him go and fight out his anger on his own.

What could he do now?His leg felt totally useless.They were miles from anywhere with no flares, the others would be waiting for them for an hour max before they headed back to base.

His stomach was flipping over itself as his mind ran through all possible outcomes of the evening ahead.He felt the knife blade tucked by his thigh and his fingers ran over its form. 

The suppressants were very effective but his body metabolised them out every 12 hours so he was beholden to carry the pills with him at all times, which until now he had always done.Without them …

He stared out from the rocky ledge.The trees were sparse here and he could see Eren in the distance collecting firewood.

The sun had lit up the treetops in a mix of greens, reds, and orange, highlighted against the mild light blue of the early evening sky.

What the fuck was he going to do?

Minutes ticked by.His brain was searching, searching.What were the options?What were the odds?How would they each play out.Where was the answer to this?The problem that had been following Levi around for years now had presented itself and demanded an answer.There was no more time.There would be no more rain checks. What would it be?

Minutes turned to hours.

***

Levi was still sitting there when darkness descended.He had not acknowledged Eren who was now tending to a fire and setting up cribs in the cave. 

Levi still looked out into the forest.It was quite still now, the creatures of the day had retreated to their dens.The creatures of the night remaining quiet as they crossed through the trees. 

Time passed slowly and the darkness weighed heavily on him.Alone again with those thoughts and memories from which distance and time couldn’t separate him.It was like being in a queue to parachute out of a plane. 

He recalled that day that Kuchel had been thrown out of the house by the nameless figure he’d assumed had been his father.Called a filthy Omega whore by him as the neighbours had watched on silently.Recalled grasping her clammy hands as they walked through the streets that night as Kenny had told Kuchel she’d better start work at the brothel as he wasn’t going to be feeding them for free.He recalled the total weakness.

And then, gradually, the clouds parted, opening a clearing up above to the sky.The moon emerged, a spotlight on the ground below.The greys and blacks of the night were suddenly rejoined with the greens and browns of the forest.

Levi stared up at it. 

Was this it?Was this the time to bow out and bid farewell to his pretty sorry existence?When life had taken everything good that had come before, friends, family, even the most basic expectations of what life should be, should he exit the stage before the universe took his dignity too?

... _Stay a while longer my child ..._

Levi paused. Was it Kuchel's voice? Was this the piece of her that he carried in his heart?

He could feel the heat from the cave at his back and measured how it felt against the cool night breeze coming in from the forest.He breathed in that night air.Levi shivered against that odd sensation of smell that had become so foreign to him over the years.There had been a light rain earlier that had released the oils of the trees and soil and the freshness surrounded him.He could smell himself too.And faintly, very faintly, he could start to smell the man at the back of the cave behind him. Levi knew it was probably a matter of minutes now before Eren could smell him too.And then the walls would fall down.So this was it.He probably had about five minutes left to decide.Hobble out into the forest and end it, or face up to an enemy he’d been putting off for a very long time?Levi was scared.He had lost the fear a physical death long ago. This was going to be the first real battle Levi had fought in years.

“Captain?There’s someone out there.Can you sense them?” Eren said appearing at the entrance to the cave.He had spent the afternoon gathering a meagre dinner for them.

Levi sighed.He looked up at the moon again.The fear building in his stomach.Levi was so unused to this sense of nervousness that he felt frozen.His shaking hand palmed his blade’s handle.

“It’s smells like an Omega and they’re in distress” Eren said.He was only about six feet away.The seconds ticked down.Now was the time.

“Are you OK, sir? You seem like you’re shaking”.

He remembered that day all those years ago.Kuchel standing over him as he had presented.The surety in her voice “never be scared to be yourself.”She had not been a bad mother, she had just been alone, she had been without a friend.

Eren’s scent was strong now and started to clog Levi’s senses.He chuckled, but it came out like bark.Of course Eren would smell like that.The safety of cedarwood.The security of Assam tea.Like a place Levi could burrow into to escape this endless shit show that life had become.

“Captain, did you see them?” Eren said.Levi cocked his head and looked at him.He laughed again, louder this time.He could feel his eyes getting wet with tears for the first time in years.Heat was emanating from his core.  
  
Levi looked at Eren as he saw the Alpha’s nostrils twitch.Eren’s green eyes suddenly dilated.

“It’s me, you fuckwit.” And Levi fell down now as the laughter mixed with tears.

***


	6. The walls are falling down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: dubious consent due to drug use

_"I did my best, but it wasnt much_   
_I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch_   
_I've told the truth, I didnt come to fool you_   
_And even though it all went wrong_   
_I'll stand before the Lord of song_   
_With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah"_

(Hallelujah - L. Cohen)

Eren’s day had not gone well. 

By any measure. 

At all. 

But when they had reached the cave he had thought that finally it was coming to an end and he could rest.

Eren now looked across at the person who had managed to generate so many conflicting emotions in him that he simply couldn’t tell what he felt about him any more at all.Levi’s beautiful haunted face was scrunched up and laughing.Eren had never seen him laugh at all. The best he had ever gotten was a slight chuckle.But this was a full-bodied laugh.

And he could smell him. And what a smell. Like freedom.The smell of wind coming down from the mountains.Crisp and clean.Invigorating.The scent coursed its way down his system.It was a scent that encapsulated the desire to be free of the walls and the tyranny of Sina.The freedom to explore.

The scent reached his brain and started to turn the cogs.Levi was not a Beta.

Eren laughed too then.A weird awkward laugh that came out when his brain didn’t know what else to do.

Of course, Levi would turn out to be an Omega!Eren’s father was a psychotic.His best friend bordered on sociopathic in her emotional range.He himself was part human, part monster. 

So why wouldn’t the man he had apparently grown so fond of from a distance turn out to be at once perfect, now in apparently every way, but so repressed as to ensure he could never love Eren in return. 

Levi was suddenly so… possible, in that the two of them were a biological match and were now totally and finally alone.But Levi was still mentally so far from here.Eren remained firmly at the base of the tower that Levi stood upon and no matter what he tried the gates refused to budge.

Beta Levi, Eren could live with, on the basis that, despite the fact that the man had begun to occupy Eren’s dreams with unerring frequency, there was a convincing explanation as to why he and Levi would never be mates.

But Omega Levi, the Levi that was the full 100 per cent of Eren’s dreams, well that was something Eren probably couldn’t live with.Not in a world where Levi still struggled to barely endure Eren’s presence.

And so he laid down too and laughed.He convulsed a bit as tears also wet his face.His scent pressed out and mingled with Levi’s now. 

Two figures in the darkness bathed by the light from the fire.  
  
They were both on an open ocean, they were on the rise of a wave, a wave rising higher than either could swim, their feet were far from the ocean floor, and they could feel that this wave was about to break down on them.It was that period between A and B.A had occurred and B was certain to occur next, no matter what else occurred.And the terrifying thought seemed to have pushed them over that short mental cliff of sanity they’d been clinging to through the day.

***

Some fifty metres up a forest owl glared down at them.Humans were curious creatures really.What other animal would struggle so hard against its nature?The owl seemed to hoot in chorus to the laughter coming from below.

***

The laughter eventually died down but the tears seemed to stay.  
  
“Do you hate me so much then?” Eren croaked.

“Do you think this about you?”

“No… But why would—“

“Why wouldn’t I jump into the arms of a big handsome Alpha who could protect me?” Levi asked.

Eren let the question sit.Levi held his breath.

“Can you imagine what this feels like?To be so … exposed in front of the world and forced to share the deepest part of myself with every passing stranger.I’ve been asked to accept that my role in life is … an object of desire.A fucking flower—“

“Fuck you.I do fucking know.” Eren interjected.“I know more than you know!You were there that day.You kicked me in front of all of them.Hundreds of people looking at me like the freak I am.Seeing more of me than I could.Do I know what it’s like to be embarrassed in public? Of course I do.Except I also had to be handcuffed and had the shit beaten out of me.”

“They were scared of you!They feared you!What would they think of me?They’d pity me—“

“How can you be so fixated on what other people think—“

“BECAUSE IT CHANGES HOW I THINK ABOUT ME” Levi yelled and rolled himself over before Eren could see the fresh wave of tears fall down off him.Eren took deep breaths.

The forest seemed darker now.The blackness returning and reaching out towards them.

“You are the strongest person I know.Your gender does not define you.”

“Oh for fuck sake.Thank you, I hadn’t realised that, I’ll just pop back and let the base know.”

“Don’t be sarcastic about this.”

“About what?That I’m about to lose control of myself in front of a junior officer, that my entire reputation is about to be destroyed, that I’d be lucky even to be permitted on to base let alone ride on another mission.”

Eren stared at him across the floor.Levi’s scent was growing stronger and mixing with his own.His own senses had sharpened and he felt the remaining cuts and bruises heal faster.And in the pit of his stomach he started to feel a warmth there too.Suddenly a very obvious fact dawned on him.

“I won’t touch you.” He said suddenly.

Levi gave a chuckle. 

Lines etched across Eren’s forehead.

“I’ve got to leave you.”Levi’s face just look dejected and he sighed.His brain had run through the options that Eren’s was now processing.

“Can you outrun the scent of an injured Omega in heat?”

Eren swallowed.Running would probably only psyche up his Alpha.

“I could kill myself,” Levi let it drop, “I could try to kill you, which would probably have been my favoured option if my leg hadn’t suddenly become totally useless. … Or I go through this heat here.And if I do, its either with the naivety of teenager or I accept the reality.”

Levi’s own pupils were dilated now and staring at the ground in front of him.His heart rate was starting to race and his mouth felt dry.

“When was the last time you had a heat?”

Levi didn’t answer.

“Oh.”

Eren digested that information.He felt an odd rattling sensation through his chest as involuntarily let out a low growl.Levi laughed.

“He likes that does he?”

“Don’t mock me.”

Eren knew it was a difficult world and that it always had been.But this was a new low.He knew he was part monster, but now he saw what was to become of him.His senses were going to overcome him and he was going to crush the thing he loved before he’d even had a chance to nurture it.

There had been a fleeting few minutes when, after realising Levi was an Omega, their relationship turning into something more seemed a real but distant possibility for Eren, if he did everything exactly right then maybe one day it might happen. But then the situation became obvious.His Alpha was going to take Levi in a way that he knew would cause Levi to hate Eren for the rest of his life.

Upon this thought process ending, fresh tears streamed down Eren’s cheeks and he sobbed in a way he hadn’t since he was a child.

“Hey… Hey! Stop that you brat.”Eren shoved his face into his elbow to stifle his tears.

“I don’t want it to be like this…You know, don’t you?..You must know what I … what you mean to me?”It was only when saying these words out loud for the first time that Eren himself started to realise the truth in them.Just how important Levi had become to him.

“It is what it is,” Levi said.He had made his choice, he was going to do it.

“You’ll hate me forever,” Eren croaked.

“Don’t be so dramatic.”

“I’ll hate myself.”

“Stop making this about you.It’s OK Eren! Alright?It’s OK. It’s shit, but it’s OK.I consent to this. I am still lucid.You are not a monster.I can bear this.”

“I don’t want to this be a situation that you bear.”

“Oh what, you want me to be one of those desperate little Omega girls you woo every other rut that fall over for you?”

“I just want … you to choose me.”

“That is not the life I want.”

“Yeah no shit, well congratulations Levi, _this_ is your life. _This_ is my life!”

“It’s easy for you to say that you shit.Do you know what I could have done if I was born an Alpha?If the universe had given me the same chance it gave you.”

“Are you actually dumber than me?You are the strongest and fastest soldier in the entire squadron, probably in the entire world.What more did you want the universe to give you?”

“I earned this it wasn’t given to me.I climbed out of—"

“oh yeah yeah, you climbed out of the underground by yourself.Tell me again.I saw my mother eaten.Mikasa saw her mother murdered with an axe.You don’t have a monopoly on messed up childhoods ok?”

“At least you could be yourself.You didn’t have to constantly monitor your thoughts, the way you walked, the way you talked, the way you moved your hands, the way you picked up a fucking glass of water.”

“OH YES! it’s been all so effortless now you put it like that.These last eight years have been a joy ride for me”

“Don’t be sarcastic about this” Levi said in a mime of Eren’s earlier retort.

“Argh!” Eren turned away and gazed out into the night. 

Despite their warring words Eren could feel his body was starting to turn it up.His pulse felt raised.The little hairs on the back of his neck were on end and he has some weird sort of pulsating rhythm coursing through him.He had been recently spending his ruts alone in a cabin in the woods but now he felt exposed.

“Tch,” Levi exclaimed and turned away in the opposite direction. 

Levi propped himself up and hobbled away.He rummaged through the saddle bag.He felt sweaty now and his undershirt was clinging to him.“where the fuck is it— ah thank christ”. 

Levi pulled out a flagon of liquid.

“What’s that?”

“One of god’s small graces.”Levi pulled the cap off, the scent of the hard alcohol wafted out.He raised it to his lips and drew it in.

The alcohol was slowly entering his system now.He was desperate to try and take the edge off these… feelings.Hange had often teased him that he was dead inside.Levi thought it was true.That he’d managed to kill the romantic part of him.The sexual part of him.But he was feeling things now.A weird sense of… longing?Desire?Apart from their ride earlier, Levi was so unused to the emotions that he was struggling to identify them.And now Levi realised he hadn’t killed that part of him.They were suppressants after all.They had merely suppressed it.Frozen it, and now those feelings, twelve years’ worth, they were thawing, thawing at a pretty rapid pace.He breathed in the Alpha’s scent.It’s warmth beat back the cool evening.

“Can I have some?”

Levi passed the flask.Eren took a swig.

Levi knew what was coming.He didn’t hate Eren.Levi had enjoyed the benefit of suppressants that totally closed down the part of himself that could see Eren, see anyone, as anything more than a friend.Levi knew no pleasure of that nature.When he was awake at night, and he had a thought about Eren’s strong hands or green eyes, he benefited from the suppressed nothingness of the emotions accompanying the thought.He may have pictured Eren from time to time, but it was always in a detached way.But now.Now he looked at Eren’s strong build, his sinewy arms, his golden skin, and those thoughts suddenly clawed their way out of a deep, deep place in his psyche.He had had thoughts before that Eren was _attractive_ in an objective sense, but now it was very different, because now Levi actually felt _attracted_ _to_ Eren.

Levi grabbed the flagon back and took another hit.His pale cheeks blushed.

 _I’m pathetic_.

Eren stood up and went over to his bag.“Alcohol is a good idea”.He rummaged through the pack.“But this is better”, Eren said, retrieving a small pipe and leather satchel from the pack.

***

Levi’s eyes flickered in and out of focus.Somehow they had ended up on their backs, side by side near the fire pit and were gazing up at the stars.

He looked over at Eren’s face.The dancing flames were reflected off the Alpha’s irises.They looked like small pools that Levi could drown in if he went in too far.The Alpha licked his lips, leaving a coating of spit on them that reflected a shiny glow.Levi leaned down, glacially slow, and pressed his nose against Eren’s neck.

The noises of the night were amplified.The crackle of the fire were tiny guns popping in his brain.The bird calls an orchestra.The crickets the percussion.Eren’s breath was the bass. 

Just one. 

He’d allow himself just one, long, good inhale. 

His nose was circling the scent gland.He breathed in.The tiny scented oils from the Alpha’s gland raced through his being, interspersing with his own scent and firing off neurons in his brain.

Levi laughed slowly.This was better than whatever was in that satchel Eren had brought out earlier.

His vision blurred as Eren’s neck slowly came back into focus.Shadows from the flame leaping across the jaw line.Miniature shadow puppets playing just for him. The smooth tan skin emanating warmth.It was so close to him now.Levi’s eyes flicked up to Eren’s lips.

The vision of the Alpha blurred out, then when it returned he was in front of him again, but different, older, his hair was cut short. There were wrinkles at the corners of his eyes. His vision blurred again and the Eren he knew returned. His eyes went back to the lips.

How would it feel if he let himself lean down and kiss them?They were glowing red in the light.Temptation.Levi had spent a lifetime avoiding it.He could end it now and finally know—Eren pushed forward and pressed his lips up against Levi’s own.His hand came up the back of Levi’s neck and grabbed the corded muscle there. 

Explosions went off in Levi’s brain.Eren’s lips parted and Levi felt them force their way between his own.Levi let himself be led as Eren’s tongue caressed lower lip.

_Woh._

Eren gently shifted their positions to roll Levi down on his back, never allowing their mouths to part.Eren took his time now to press small kisses down either side of Levi’s jaw, each time returning back to his mouth.

_Woh._

Eren’s right hand was still cradling Levi’s neck as the other slowly traced down Levi’s throat, then across his chest and down to slowly slip under the cloth.Levi shivered as the Alpha’s hand drifted over his abdomen, the lightest of touches registering in his mind.

Levi could taste Eren, his scent distilled into liquid form.It gave him a heady rush and he sought to drink him in further.He slowly pressed his own tongue back against Eren’s and into the Alpha’s mouth.This action was greeted by a deep growl from the Alpha on top of him.

Eren was propping himself up, but Levi could still feel the weight of Eren’s frame above him.The power and the size of him was overwhelmingly, as if he could swallow Levi up in his embrace. 

It was so bizarre for Levi, his brain was releasing so much pent up dopamine and seratonin, to receptors that had barely registered any of either drug in so long that it was difficult to know exactly what he was feeling or why.However after some time Eren pulled away to look at Levi, who was laughing again.

“Are you ok?”Eren asked with a puzzled expression.

“Come here,” Levi responded pulling the Alpha back down over him.Levi spread his legs further, the pain the right leg cut off from his brain receptors, allowing the Alpha to sink closer into him.Eren emitted another deep growl as he felt his length harden at the contact.

The Alpha gently pushed Levi’s shirt up further partly exposing half of his pale, defined chest.Eren looked at the beautiful man before him, his eyes drawn to the pert pink nipple now exposed to the night air.Eren lowered his head to the left nipple and let his wet tongue draw a circle around the flesh.Levi let out a gasp at the sensation and threaded his fingers through Eren’s hair.The Alpha responded by covering the nipple with his mouth and tonguing the tip with gentle suction,causing Levi to writhe below him.

“E-eren” Levi choked out, back arching.A lifetime of loneliness had left him super sensitive to human touch.Eren took the opportunity to move over to the right nipple and repeat the process.They tasted so sweet in his mouth, like fresh strawberries in summer.Feeling playful he gave the nipple a little bite, causing Levi to emit a yelp. Eren chuckled before resuming his position above Levi’s face and leaned into to bite Levi’s lower lip.If only he could record the sounds Levi was making now, he tried to commit them to memory.

When they next came up for air Eren pulled Levi up and removed his jacket and undershirt before repeating the same process on himself.Levi leant back and stared up at Eren above him.He was surprised at just how muscular he had become over the past year.His core had clearly defined abdominals with thick veins tracing up them.His chest was square and thick with a deep cleft between the pectorals.It looked… sexy?Did he find Eren sexy?The drugs were still working, which combined with the excitement of the situation and the biology of his first heat seemed to make reality hard to follow.

“Hey, Levi,”Eren had cupped his cheek.“You good?” Eren asked.

 _“_ Fuck me _.”_

Eren’s eyes went wide. Levi's mouth felt dry.

_Who had said that?_

Levi let his hands reach up and trace the curves of Eren’s bicep and delts, until they intertwined behind Eren’s neck.Pulling him down, the Omega shuddered as their torsos met for the first time.The feeling of skin on skin was remarkable.They both had a light sheen of sweat on them that joined as they pressed against one another.Levi felt himself arch up into Eren, mashing their chests together.Below he could feel Eren’s hardness being rubbed into him.His brain had a sense of curiosity about what lay there and he suddenly found his hand wrapping around it as Eren froze on top of him.

_What is this?_

Levi’s fingers traced the outline from the tip to the base at Eren’s groin.He gave it a squeeze leading to a low moan from above him.Levis hand’s unbuttoned Eren’s pants and reached into the darkness, grabbing Eren’s length.It was so hot, and smooth. 

_It feels nice._

Levi felt himself push upward to rub himself along Eren’s length, puling him down and down.His vision had blurred again, with the lights making small kaleidoscopes and Eren seemed to be all around him now.He could feel a wetness in himself and started kicking at his pants to draw them down.Levi’s hand grabbed at Eren’s back and flipped them again.

His movements felt endless.Eren’s pants had also come off at some point and now it was just skin on skin.Levi could feel a cool liquid on his legs that let him slide as he moved his body up on top of Eren.His skin felt so good, he placed his hand on Eren’s cheek and looked down on him from above.

“Your cheek is … so … soft,” Levi said slowly palming it.Eren’s hands had moved down to Levi’s hips securing him in place.

There was a deep heat beneath Levi that was now nested between his cheeks.It was slippery and he pressed down upon it sliding his body up and down it slowly.Eren emitted a low groan.Levi purred feeling the vibrations flow through his ribs individually.

Levi’s head titled back and he looked up at the stars twinkling overhead.Eren’s arms were now running up and down his back, drawing faint circles over the muscles there.His hands travelled higher to run through the Omega’s hair.The Alpha sat up and brought Levi’s face back down to kiss him whilst cradling him in his lap.

Levi could feel the Alpha moving him up and up as a large warmth rubbing against him.Finally Eren stilled, slowly grasping Levi’s hip and applying a gentle steady pressure.

Levi’s body caught up with what was happening and he found himself pushing down, wanting it, wanting to feel it now. He stared into Eren’s eyes, deep into those pupils that were watching him.His body felt a distant pain, but it was overcome by the sense the Levi was about to achieve something his body wanted, like the pain of the last few metres of a very long race.

 _Take me_.

Then there was new sensation that walked the line between pleasure and pain.Levi felt it deep within him as he ground down his body on to the Alpha.Eren closed his eyes and moaned heavily as his cock slipped into Levi.

Levi brought his hands up and looped them behind Eren’s head.He shifted his weight to his knees and slowly rose up on Eren’s length before lowering himself again letting out a low hiss.The feeling was indescribable, it wasn’t immediately enjoyable but it felt like it had promise of more.

Eren’s hands returned to Levi’s hips to help guide the Omega, enjoying the smooth flesh there.

“Fuck, you feel amazing,” Eren said in a half gasp.

“Mmmmmm … it’s fun.”

Eren let Levi continue until he couldn’t stand the position any longer, rocking forward and placing the Omega on his back underneath the Alpha.He hooked Levi’s legs around his waist and slowly sank back down into him.

“Uhh, Eren.”Levi’s head rolled back as the intensity of the rubbing within him increased.

Now Eren was in control he could set the pace.The tightness of Levi was driving him onward wanting to open the Omega up under him.His fingers played over Levi’s lips and he thrusted into his lover.

Leaning down Eren resumed his kisses to the Omega’s neck as he maintained a steady pace within him, causing Levi to emit a small moan with every thrust.

Eren had never had a sexual experience like this before.Never fit together so well with anyone, never felt such overwhelming physical pleasure and such an intense romantic desire before.He saw the jugular vein beating on Levi’s neck.His tongue flipped up and traced it, sucking greedily at the scent gland there.

_I should bond him._

Levi was perfect for Eren, they were perfect for each other, but a tiny voice of reason called him back from the brink.

Eren lifted his head back up to stare down at the Omega.Levi was covered in a thin sheen of sweat, his hair was stuck to his forehead, his eyes had a glazed look as he stared back at Eren and his tongue was playing with Eren’s thumb that had been coasting his lips.

“Bond me,” Levi said pleadingly.

“Shhhhh.”

Eren reached to to kiss Levi again, their tongues playing lightly. Eren couldn't do it to Levi, he couldn't make the decision during their first heat together. 

Eren lifted Levi’s legs again and slowly turned them so that Levi was on his side and Eren behind him.Eren rested Levi’s head on his bicep and used his other hand to secure Levi’s hip as he started to drive into him faster.

Levi was emitting sharper yelps now as Eren touched him harder.Eren felt light-headed as the Alpha within him sought release.Pushing forward he rolled Levi onto his front and lay on top of him, propping his chest up on his elbows.

He started to slam down on the Omega, emitting a deep moan with every thrust.He felt Levi tighten around him as the Omega started to wail.Eren looked at the bare neck in front of him and lunged at it with his teeth biting deep into Levi’s nape. It wouldn't bond them but it gave the the release they both sought.

“Arrrgh…Eren… now”

Levi started thrashing and convulsing under Eren who felt himself explode into the Omega below.Eren’s eyes rolled back and his fingers grabbed at the body beneath him.Levi bucked up against the Alpha and was pushed into orgasm as he felt Eren’s release inside him.

They seemed frozen there in that union as each of their souls were ripped out of their bodies for a moment and entangled together.Colours blended, lights merged, sounds echoed.They were suddenly so light.

Finally, after that long moment, Eren started to return to his body.Levi was still beneath him and he gently rolled him back so that they were side be side.He administered small kisses to the Omega’s neck as a wave of tiredness suddenly overcame him.His eyes fluttered and he grasped the Omega tightly against himself as he let sleep take him.

***


	7. The morning after

_"Well, I've been where you're hanging_

_I think I can see how you're pinned_

_When you're not feeling holy_

_Your loneliness says that you've sinned"_

(Sisters of Mercy - L. Cohen)

Levi awoke gradually.He was so warm, warmer than ever.He felt secure.There was a gentle rhythmic movement behind him.His head hurt, with a dull gentle throb that seemed to run through his body, but he felt at peace.There was a dull pain deep in his lower abdomen.

His eyes blinked open.It was first light and the sun’s rays were peaking through the forest.The remnants of the fire glowed gently.

Levi looked down and suddenly realised he was naked.Someone’s arm was wrapped around his waist.Levi froze.The blurred memories of the night prior suddenly flooding his mind.

_Oh god._

He couldn’t remember all of it but he remembered the way he had moaned and called out for Eren.He stomach flipped and he felt like he might throw up.He tried to wiggle his way out of Eren’s grip, but the Alpha pulled him tighter.Levi reached down and grasped the Alpha’s hand and removed it, rolling forward and moving to his knees.

The was a sharp pain in his leg, but Levi was surprised he could move it at all.Perhaps it hadn’t been broken, just strained.

Eren jerked awake as Levi left his arms.He shook his head and blinked a few times.

Levi looked at him and found himself blushing furiously.The Alpha was covered with dirt, dried slick and dried cum.Levi looked down to see his own torso had similar marks.They looked like animals.

“Good morning …”Eren said cautiously looking at Levi apprehensively.

Levi felt like he was sinking.The drugs and the hormones from his heat had shielded his mind last night from processing what was occurring, which he was now having to face. How could he have let himself be taken like that by another man?By an Alpha? And to have called out to him throughout.

“How is your heat feeling?” 

“It’s over” Levi replied.

“Oh.That was quick.”A heat normally lasted between three to seven days.

Eren looked slightly embarrassed.

“Can I make you some breakfast?You’re moving your leg.”

What the fuck was Levi going to do now. How would Eren ever look at him the same way?How could he look at himself the same way?

“No.We need to get back to base.”

Could they go back to base? How would he control this situation?

“Are you sure that’s a good idea, you’ve just had your first heat—

“Don’t talk about it!”

Eren jolted up.

“What?”

“Don’t mention it again”

Eren looked confused.

“What?”

“We are not going to discuss it.I don’t want you to mention last night to me again.”

“Levi … it’s ok you know .. it’s just you and me here.”

Eren reached out to take Levi’s hand, but Levi jerked it away standing up.

“You need to get up Jaeger and clean yourself off, you look disgusting.I’m going to do the same then I want to set off back to base.We will not to discuss what happened last night again understood?”

Eren looked at Levi for a long time. 

“No.”

Levi’s eyes narrowed.

“What did you say?”

“No… I am not going to pretend that last night didn’t happen Levi.I … care about you.I care about you in a way I have never cared about anyone else.I am not going to let you lie to yourself any longer.”

Eren rose to his feet to meet Levi.

“This is not a debate.I am telling you to drop this Jaeger.”

Eren looked at Levi.Levi’s steely resolve had blended with a sort of pained sense of panic that flashed across his face.

“I will keep this just between us, but I am not going to forget about it Levi.You cannot keep going on the way you have.I will give you all the time in the world.I will wait, I will let you do this at your pace, but I’m not going to pretend that nothing happened.”

“If you are not going to follow orders then—”

“I will follow all your orders in the field Levi, but not this one, not between the two of us.Don’t worry OK, I get it, I get how scary all this must be for you, and I’m not going to press you to do anything you don’t want or tell anyone about it, but when its just the two of us I can’t… not tell you … how I feel."

Levi looked up at the Alpha.He wasn’t going to convince him otherwise here.He wanted the punch him and wipe that condescending look off his face, but now he needed to keep Eren onside to ensure this went no further.

“OK Jaeger, but don’t expect to discuss it anytime soon.”Levi said.“I know you didn’t choose this anymore than I did…I need to know that … no one will find out about this.”

Eren nodded.“Let me make you some breakfast Levi.I’ll clear up our camp and then we can head back.There is a stream a few hundred metres south of here where you can bathe if you want to?”

Levi nodded and grabbed his clothes off the ground before turning and heading towards the stream.The water must have flowed down from the mountain range behind him.The morning sun was reflecting of the snow peaks up above them.

The water was freezing, but in a refreshing way as Levi sought to calm the anxiety that had reared up within him.His brain felt like it had short-circuited.After the massive high of last night, he was going through a crash.Levi felt dumb, so many thoughts would start and then stop half way through.He couldn’t work out what to do.What did he want to do?More than anything he just felt alone and afraid.He started crying softly.The tears were washed away by the stream’s waters.Eventually, he managed to pull himself together.He slapped his skin to get the blood flow going.He left the water and decided to use his shirt to dry himself before pulling on his trousers.

When he got back to the camp he found that Eren was still naked, much to Levi’s discomfort.He had brewed some tea over the coals of the fire and cut-up some of their biscuits along with some wild berries he had found yesterday afternoon for Levi.

“I’ll go clean up,” he said brushing past Levi.

Levi lifted the tea to his lips.The taste was overwhelming and still so foreign to him.Levi was used to sort of blandness.He couldn’t finish.The berries were incredibly sweet and tart and he spat them out after trying a few. His senses were under attack and he just wanted to crawl away to noiseless empty room where he could hide himself.

After some time, Eren returned, thankfully now also wearing trousers.He eyed up Levi from a distance before walking over to him and crouching down beside him.

“Hey…” Eren slowly reached out to hold Levi’s arm.

“You are doing a really good job, you know that Levi.I know this is very difficult for you.”

Levi could feel his cheeks were wet and he realised he was crying again.He let out a sob and Eren grabbed his head and pressed it against his chest.

“You are so brave Levi. You are so brave.”

Levi couldn’t stop it now, the tears just continued to pour out of him.

“I … can’t do it.”

“You can do it.You can do it ok?”

Eren was rubbing his hand on Levi’s back in circles as he embraced him.

They sat there for a long time not saying anything. Levi had reached the point of nothingness where there were no more tears, just a dull numbness.

After a few more minutes Eren pulled Levi to his feet.

“Do you want to walk with me or should I carry you in my titan form.”

“Walk,” Levi replied.

“OK, should we get going in that case?”

“Yes.”

Eren packed up the few supplies into his backpack before dousing the fire.He looked around the camp once last time before heading into the forest in front of Levi.

The day passed in a long blur for Levi.He felt totally drained, more emotionally and mentally than physically.His leg actually seemed to have healed somewhat and only had a dull pain as he hiked back towards base.The breakdown earlier had been somewhat cathartic and had left his mind blank.He didn’t register the frequent looks Eren gave him from his side.After two hours they found themselves back in the clearing where the squad had been attacked initially.

It was so peaceful here now, although the snapped branches and crushed undergrowth showed the signs of the battle that had taken place the day before.

They heard the noises of a horse and turned the corner to find Reiner’s horse grazing on the grass.

“He’s got a note,” Eren said, fishing the paper from the saddle bag.

_—Captain, we’ve left Reiner’s horse here for you both.We will return to the river to collect Shadow on our way back to base.The saddle bag has a napsack that we found - you must have dropped it during the battle.M.Ackerman.—_

_“_ OK good, we stand a chance of getting back to base today.”

Eren helped Levi mount the steed before getting on behind him.Levi didn’t care about the compromising position anymore, there was no point.Levi took the napsack from Eren and retrieved his suppressants.Eren said nothing as Levi swallowed one of the pills down.Eren grabbed the reins from behind while Levi held the grips as the horse started their journey to return to base.

More landscapes passed by Levi — leaving the forest, crossing the grasslands, the deserted outposts.Slowly they neared the outskirts of base and his brain started to fire back up.

“Eren, can you stop for a minute?”

Eren pulled up on the horse.

“Are you OK?”

“Can you still smell me?”

Eren sighed.He breathed in.

“Very faintly.”

The suppressant had worked its way through his system during the ride.

“I need you to drop me close to my quarters.Let Erwin know I’ll see him first thing after I’ve showered.”

“OK.”

“And … you promise … you won’t mention this to anyone?”

“I promise Levi.I will wait for you OK?I’ll give you a few days to rest as long as we can talk about it later.”

“…OK… we can, talk about it later.”

“Thank you.”

Eren rode the horse the long way around base, behind the farm so that Levi could hopefully get into his quarters undisturbed.It was late in the day and the sun had started to set.Most officers would have finished their tasks for the day, but it was still too early for dinner.

Levi jumped down from the horse and looked up at Eren.

“Thank you Jaeger … for everything.”

“I’ll be waiting OK?”

“OK.”

Levi turned and entered the officers’ quarters.

****

Eren let out a sigh of relief when he saw the door close.He’d been bottling up so many feelings all day trying to avoid overwhelming Levi anymore than he already so obviously was.Levi had suddenly seemed so, fragile?Eren was worried he might do some permanent damage to their relationship if he pushed things any further today.What Levi needed now was some alone time to try and process his thoughts and feelings, something Eren also wanted.

He turned Reiner’s horse towards the stable.He was covered in sweat from the day’s ride and urgently wanted a shower.The horse trotted along the gravel path through the base.

“EREN!!!!!”

Eren looked up to see Armin and Mikasa racing towards him.He sidled down from the horse and walked up to meet them, Mikasa flew through the air and embraced him.

“WE THOUGHT YOU DIED!!” she yelled, squeezing the air out of him with a hug.

“Hey, hey ease up,” Eren said with a laugh.It was good to see them.

“What happened!Did you fight the female titan, is Captain Levi alive?”Armin asked.

“Yeah yeah, he is alive and OK.I fought her, but she escaped.”Eren said with his eyes downcast.

“Oh thank god, we’ve been so worried about both of you!” Mikasa said.Armin had joined Mikasa and they were now sharing a three way hug.

Armin sniffed at Eren.Mikasa sniffed too.

“Eren, you smell funny.”

“What?”

“Yeah, you smell… what is THAT smell?Did you?”

Eren suddenly felt a flash of fear run through him.

“I need to shower, we camped outdoors last night, let me catch you guys up later,” Eren said trying to pull away.

“No that’s not it,” Mikasa said pressing her nose up against his neck.

“You smell like an Omega?”

“What? Don’t be ridiculous.”

“She’s right you do! Have you just had a RUT?”

“No, not let me go I need to shower!”

“What’s wrong, how did you though?When?Who did you?” Armin asked.

“It doesn’t make any sense, you’ve come straight back here?” Mikasa added.

Eren broke away and led the horse to the stables.

“I said drop it, let me get cleaned up then we can talk,” Eren said.

“You don’t just smell like an Omega Eren, you smell like you’ve mated!In fact you reek of his scent.”

“But how? What was an Omega doing in the forest?”

“DROP IT! Both of you!Stop talking now!”Eren said angrily letting out a snarl.

Mikasa and Armin jumped back. They’d followed Eren up to the doors of the stables.Eren could see the hurt in their eyes after his outburst. 

“Eren whatever had happened you can tell us, you know right?” Mikasa asked.

Armin’s eyes narrowed.

“Oh… my… god.” Armin said.

“What?” Mikasa asked

“I always thought something was odd, then it is true?It was him, wasn’t it?” Armin asked.

“Who?” Mikasa said.

“Capt-”

Eren slammed his palm over Armin’s mouth and dragged him into the stables, Mikasa flew in after them.Eren had Armin in a headlock as he kicked the door closed behind them.

“I told you both to shut up!” Eren growled.

“EREN, you’re hurting him,” Mikasa yelled grabbing Armin away.

“It was Captain Levi wasn’t it?” Armin asked.

“NO!” Eren shouted.

“WHAT? You slept with the Captain?Levi is an Omega?”Mikasa asked in amazement. 

“FUCK, just stop talking both of you.Look please I’m begging you just stop talking, you don’t know what is going on, please just give me time to sort this out, I promise I will tell you everything, just don’t wreck this, please” Eren had sunk to his knees.

“Wow…wow… of course we won’t say anything, but wow… are you ok?… wow” Armin said.

“Don’t talk about it, don’t discuss it, we can one day but not now, never mention this OK?” Eren pleaded.

“We won’t Eren, we’re just… shocked,” Mikasa said.

“I’m counting on you both.It’s so, so important to me that this goes no further.I promise I’m OK alright, everything will be ok, I just need some time.We need some time.”

“Yeah, yeah of course… Of course” Armin replied.Both he and Mikasa were dumbfounded.

The three stared at each other in an uneasy silence for half a minute or so.

“You do need to shower then” Armin said.

“Yes right away.”

“Here wear my scarf, cover your neck,” Mikasa said, throwing her scarf over Eren.“We’ll walk you back, just stick close to us OK.The scent is so strong.”

“Thank you, both of you,” Eren replied.

The three of them shuffled out of the stable after securing Reiner’s horse.Mikasa and Armin slowly lead Eren back to the dorms.

Behind them in the stable in one of the stalls at the far end of the building were three first year recruits who had paused their cleaning duties and were looking at each other wide-eyed.None of them spoke for a minute until one of them finally cracked and burst out laughing.“Just wait till the lads here about this!”

***

Levi had spent two hours in the shower lathering himself with scent blockers.He’d then spent another hour trying to calm his nerves and combat the waves of anxiety washing over him.He needed to report back to Erwin as soon as possible to avoid any further suspicion.It had just past 7 and he would most likely be eating at the Mess Hall.

It had only been a few hours since they’d returned to base and Levi had so far gratefully managed to avoid running into anyone he knew personally.

He pushed open the doors and walked into the Hall.A few people turned their heads, then some murmurs rippled out until all at once a silence descended.Soldiers and cadets all turned and stared as Levi entered the room.The reaction caught him off guard and Levi froze.

The silence lay heavy until it was broken by a single piercing wolf-whistle that came out of the crowd and travelled in vibrations down Levi's spine.

  
***


	8. The nuclear option

_"But I lingered on her thighs a fatal moment_

_I kissed her lips as though I thirsted still_

_My falsity had stung me like a hornet_

_The poison sank and it paralyzed my will"_

(The Traitor - L. Cohen)

Levi stood frozen in a moment as the ring of the whistle died out.

Suddenly the room broke out in raucous cheering, clapping and laughter.

“Congratulations on your engagement.”

“Hope he wasn’t too rough with you.”

“The Captain’s become the hottest piece of Omega ass outside Sina.”

Jeers and chants rang out as soldiers hollered at him.Levi could feel his adrenal glands pulse and flood his blood, his eyes desperately searching the room.Erwin and Hange were seated at the back and were absolutely stone-faced.

Most of Eren’s friends were jeering and clapping along with the younger solders.His eyes finally landed on Eren who looked shell-shocked.

Levi was startled by Mike Zacharias walking over.

“Well who would have thought there was a sexy little minx hiding behind that scowl all this time”, he said laughing with his arms stretched open to give him a hug. 

“I mean it’s a shame we won’t have you on the force anymore but I’m glad you’ve found someone that makes you happy Levi,” he said embracing the shorter man.

Levi didn’t move.He couldn’t breathe.He couldn’t think.This was virtually his worst nightmare come to life.

“Enough!” shouted Erwin.He had stood up and was striding swiftly down the hall.

“Levi Ackerman” report to my office at once, Erwin said.Erwin looked him over then turned and walked out of the room. Levi robotically turned to follow.He had lost his sense of place.His legs carried him forward and away from the Mess Hall where he heard further cat calls and clapping.He looked down. He didn’t recognise his body.

Suddenly they had arrived at Erwin’s office.Hange was already waiting inside.

“Have a seat” Erwin said.

Levi sat on one of the chairs and tried to regain his composure.

“You look pale, have a drink,” Erwin said, pouring out some water and handing Levi a glass.

“We were very worried about you,” Hange said, looking over at Levi.

“You needn’t have, I’m fine,” Levi said.

“Levi.We have heard some pretty serious rumours that are going around.We’ve heard that you are an Omega and that you and Jaeger mated whilst on mission,” Erwin said solemnly.

“That’s a lie,” Levi said trying to avoid his voice cracking and to stop his hands from shaking.

“I would like to hope so, but while you were away I ordered that your quarters be inspected—-

“You fucking spied on me?”

“I did.And I found some unusual medication in your safe, medication that Hange informs me could be used to totally suppress Omegan traits,” Erwin said.

“Levi we are just worried about you, we have been worried about some of your behaviour for a long time to be honest.If you have been taking that medication you’ve been putting yourself at serious risk,” Hange said.

“I take it for a heart condition, I am NOT an Omega! That it just some muck-raking Jaeger has done after I chewed him out for his misbehaviour,” Levi said.

Erwin and Hange were looking at him solemnly.

“You know me.You have seen me in action.There are no Omegas who can fight at my level.”

“Levi I’ve come to realise that you are unique.Quite unique.But the truth is when I heard the rumour, it did suddenly explain a lot of things about you.Why you are so reserved.Why you never express any romantic interest.Why you never join in an social events,” Erwin said

“We just … want to help you Levi, to make sure that you are OK, mentally and physically,” Hange said.

“I’m FINE!Why is everyone so obsessed with my private life?” Levi said, glaring at both of them.

“Because we care about you,” Erwin replied.

“Well if you care then you should trust me when I tell you that I am fine, that these are just childish rumours and that you shouldn’t be concerned bout me, I am absolutely fine.”The stress of the situation was getting to him and he couldn’t seem to control his limbs from shaking.

“Levi … sometimes when people have lied to themselves for a very long time … it can be very difficult for them to admit the truth, even with close friends or even to themselves, I understand that,” Erwin said, standing up and walking around the front of his desk.

“And sometimes we need our friends to push us … to work to accept certain things … in order to ensure we don’t hurt ourselves,” Hange added.  
  
Levi felt hot and his skin was tingling.He had to get out of here.

“So I’m sorry to do this to you, but I need to know for sure.” Erwin said.

Levi’s face flicked back between Hange and Erwin, what did they plan—

“NOW!”

Hange jumped and wrapped her arms around Levi.He quickly shook her off but not before Erwin leapt at him.

Time slowed.

Erwin’s hand grabbed Levi’s hair and pulled his head to the left.The Alpha had leapt forward and his mouth descended on to Levi’s neck right above his scent gland.And instantly, Erwin licked his gland.

Levi froze and Erwin let him drop to the floor.  
  
“I’m sorry Levi,” Hange said softly as she looked up at Erwin.

Erwin was silent for a few seconds.His pupils had dilated.Then he murmured, “Omega”.

“You’re wrong! You’re crazy” Levi yelled.

“Those are very strong suppressants, but the reactant Hange provided in the water I handed you earlier has started to counteract them.”

Levi’s mouth dropped open.He could smell them both now.The anger from Erwin and the shame from Hange.His eyes were stinging.

“I’m going, I’ve got to get out of here, fuck both of you” Levi start to walk to the door.

“Omega, sit” Erwin ordered in a low commanding Alpha voice.

“Erwin, Don’t!” Hange said.

Levi whimpered and fell to the floor.He felt like he was about to throw up.His body had gone limp under the order.

“You have repeatedly lied to superior officers during your time in the Scouts.You have withheld important information that may have put others at risk during missions.You have obtained illegal drugs off the black market and abused such drugs.”

Levi could feel his stomach flip.

“Erwin! Stop! He does not need this now,” Hange yelled.

“You have made a mockery of the Scouts principles and have made Officer Hange and myself accessories to your misdeeds.”

Levi vomitted.The mix of food and bitter liquid spilled on the floor in front of him, soiling his shirt and pants at the same time.Hange went to assist him.

“Leave him.” Erwin commanded.“On top of your wrong-doing, you have now deserted a mission and appear to have seduced a junior officer while in the field and without taking leave.”

How could Eren have done this to him?To immediately tell the base as soon as he returned about everything he promised Levi would stay between them.

“Omegas are not permitted to join the active forces of the Scouts and your position is terminated effective immediately,”

His life was over.Everything he had fought for, his livelihood, the few precious friends he had made.He had lost it all.Because the Alpha idiot couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

“I need to consider whether to refer you to the military police for your conduct.”

He was going to end up being sent back to the underground or to prison.Back out of the sunlight.

“I feel sick,” Levi said, and he did, he felt totally blinded by the day’s events, coming off the back of the most intense 72 hours of his life.

“Hange, take Levi to the Omega wing of the hospital.Don’t mention a word of this to anyone else. I’ll send two guards to stand by him.” Erwin said.

Hange let him lean on her as she walked him towards the hospital wing of the base.He could feel the suppressants wearing off.He smelt horrible.The smells of the base were disgusting. He put one foot after another and walked on.

*** ****

Zoe Hange escorted Levi away from the central office and out into the yard separating it from the rest of the buildings.

“Levi, I’m sorry Erwin acted the way he did, I didn’t expect him to do that.We’ve just been really worried about you for so long now.When I found out the pills you were taking … they’ll kill you Levi if you keep taking them, do you understand that?”

Levi didn’t hear her.He’d retreated inside himself.The remnants of vomit that was smeared down his chin and across his clothes were drying.

“I know it must be awful what you’re going through, I wish we could have done this a different way, but it will get better OK?You don’t have to do … you can be yourself … around us,” Hange said, her voice choking up.

Levi looked at her with a blank expression on his face.

“OK” he said on autopilot.

“I wanted to do it differently, but after that incident in the Mess Hall, I think Erwin is also overwhelmed …. I don’t think you realise what you mean to him.”

“OK.”

She led him behind the officer’s quarters and they walked up to the back of the hospital block.Hange knocked on the doors.One of the Alpha doctors answered the door with Petra by his side.They led them into a private ward whilst Hange explained the background to their visit.

“Well we better check the Omega’s vitals and see what shape he is in,” the Doctor said to Hange.“Petra, prep the patient, I’m going to change into my scrubs.”

Petra took Levi’s hand and led him to the bed.She didn’t say anything to Levi, but her eyes were shiny and he felt her thumb trace of the back of his hand in a soothing movement.She gently untied his boots and removed his jacket and belt.

Hange was going through a filing cabinet behind them and retrieved a foolscap folder with several sheets in it.

“No nurse, you’ll need to undress and gown him.”

“Oh … maybe it would be better to wait until he’s recovered from the shock Doctor to do a full examination?”Petra asked, “or perhaps its something that I discuss that with Levi in private given the fact that he is not used to this?”

“Nonsense, he’s just had his first heat, need to make sure there are no injuries, now gown him.”

Petra nodded and closed the bed curtain around them as she started to remove Levi’s remaining clothes.“I’m sorry for this Levi, it will be over quickly,” Petra murmured as she placed a disposable gown over him.She tidied the clothes away.

“He won’t need that uniform anymore in any event so you can find him something for suitable after the examination.Now, let’s take a look shall we.” 

The doctor moved him so he was on his side and started to examine his body, calling out numbers and values to Petra.Levi tensed up as his hand climbed higher.“Omega, relax, do not move” the doctor commanded in his Alpha voice and Levi went limp. 

Every so often the doctor would call out to Hange to record a note about an observation.

“Do you see any signs of permanent damage from the cancer medication?”Hange asked cautiously.

“We probably won’t know for sure until we run some blood tests, see what conditions his hormones are in.Now if I just reach up here, spread your legs Omega” the Alpha reached up to Levi’s private place, and his gloved finger entered.“Slick gland seems small, barely there actually."

Levi was slowly dying inside.All of it would come to pass.This was his new life, a life of shame and humiliation.

The examination continued in the same manner for the next 15 minutes or so as each part of him was prodded and poked, with samples taken for their lab work. Eventually the Doctor finished and told Levi to sit up.

“Now, Omega Ackerman.What you have been doing in taking that medication was very foolish and very wrong.That medication should only be prescribed by a doctor and is not to be used to suppress your gender traits.You are going to have some real work to do in your recovery.Now it sounds like you have some serious issues with being an Omega and the only thing I have to tell you on that is — tough luck.We don’t choose our gender and you can’t change yours.It’s no good trying to kill yourself over.Look at it this way, no more nasty fighting or long expeditions you need to worry yourself over.I’m sure if you give it a chance you’ll realise just how lucky Omegas are here, why just look at Petra over there — perfectly happy as a nurse in this hospital!Now if you stop this nonsense and clean up your act I’m sure you can find a much more rewarding lifestyle that you’ll enjoy much more than this mess you’ve made for yourself.Why if you stop dressing up in this solder get-up and start eating right, I’m sure you will find a perfectly respectable Alpha to look after you in no time, perhaps this one you’ve already shared a heat with?Anyway that’s all for another day.Now that the examination is over it’s time for you to have a nice long rest, you do look in need of some beauty sleep.”

“OK.”Levi responded.

“OK, nurse you can get him cleaned up and ready for bed, this little guy has earned a nap,” the doctor said.

With that the Doctor turned to leave.

“Levi I know that wasn’t easy for you, but it was necessary if we want to get you healthy again, OK?I know he is a bit old fashioned in his views but he is a good doctor.I’ll leave you with Petra now, there are two soldiers standing watch outside if you need anything.”

With that Hange left the room.

“Oh Levi, I’m so sorry.”Petra said finally relaxing once they were on their own.“I can’t begin to imagine what you’ve been through so I won’t try, but if you ever want to talk about it, I’d be happy to listen.”

“OK.”

Petra had retrieved some clothes from one of the cabinets.It was a tracksuit and t-shirt in a pastel blue.

“These are quite comfortable.I know you won’t like the colour but we don’t have anything darker I’m afraid.”

“OK.”

She led him to the shower room off the main ward.

“I’ll turn on the hot water for you so you can bathe,” she said turning to leave.

Levi turned on the taps and let the water cascade down before him.

_... Just breathe.You don’t have to do anything else for now.Just breathe ..._

He was right back where he was 12 years ago when he’d first presented.He remembered that day, the disorienting feeling that had come over him in the morning while waking from sleep.Kuchel had tried to protect him but Kenny had smelt him right away and said that if he had another Omega on his hands then Levi had better prepare to work in the brothel right alongside his whore mother.He recalled his uncle laughing as he said there were no free lunches in the underground.That was the only time Levi had seen Kuchel get really angry. His mother lost it and launched herself at Kenny, viscously gouging at his eyes and clawing at his hair.But the Alpha had simply picked her up and thrown her against the wall.Levi had held her hand as she cried and hugged him.

It was that same feeling of being trapped, a slow suffocation as the oxygen in the room depleted.

_I’m here Levi, I’ll protect us, we’ll be ok._

That was where he recognised the voice from. It had spoken to him on that day. The voice that had recently reappeared in his life.

_One step at a time. You don’t have to do anything else.Breathe._

For the first time that day, he started to feel calm.The cortisol flowing through his blood stream had finally maxed out and he felt his mind started to adjust.

_It’s just another obstacle to clear.That’s all.It’s no different to what we’ve faced before._

He would leave.There was nothing for him here. 

_We will be OK.We can fend for ourselves.We don’t need anyone else._

Yes.Levi was not a great fan of the outdoors, but solitude was infinitely preferable to a future in this society.

_What’s the solution to the this obstacle Levi?_

Levi looked around the room and noticed the drop ceiling had a hatch.He left the water running as he dried off and changed into the clothes Petra had brought him.He reached up and found the hatch gave way into an attic crawl space.Hoisting himself up he entered the darkness.

His eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness as he replaced the cover to the hatch.

_That’s the first step.That was the hardest one, so what’s the next step Levi?_

He knew he was central to the hospital building and could make out faint moonlight through the cracks in the tiles above.He saw there were two small air vents at the back of the attic that he could slip out of.He carefully moved across the dark room trying to avoid causing the ceiling to creak beneath.Reaching the vent, he unclasped the locks and silently lowered it down.Remaining in the shadows he looked out.It was a short three metre drop and luckily this end of the building backed on to the orchards, which would give him some cover.Levi turned and lowered himself out of the attic and dropped silently to the grass below. Pain shot up his leg. It had healed remarkably, bizarrely, quickly but the joints were still tender. He ran over to the shadows of the trees and allowed himself to take a breath.

_That’s right, still got it.Now what do we need to take with us?_

He would take only the most essential supplies.He looked around the base and weighed his options.It would be good to take his suppressants but he figured Erwin probably had them and trying to enter central office would be a nightmare.The best rations would be in the kitchens, but they’d be full of people.If he could get some of his clothes from his quarters that would be good, but again he’d have to pass a dozen or so soldiers to get in there.

_The stables._

They were his best bet.The stables were stocked with emergency supplies that could be thrown into a saddle bag at short notice.Also if he took a horse his chance of evading any search party was much higher.He’d just need to avoid any night patrols or recruits on clean up duty.The stables were across base and there were some open spaces he would struggle to avoid.

_Time to go._

It had been over five minutes since he’d left the shower and he expected Petra would become concerned if he didn’t answer her when she came to check on him.

He needed a plan to get to the stables quickly and without being seen.  
  
At that moment, a bolt of lightning exploded across the base and the junior barracks partially exploded.Levi wondered if perhaps, despite all prior evidence to the contrary, they may actually have been someone up above looking out for him as the heavens seemed to answer Levi’s silent prayer.He shielded his eyes from the blinding light.

A mighty roar rang out across the base and Levi heard the sounds of screams and running.Focussing his eyes, Levi saw Eren in his titan form standing across the base.

_Perfect._

Levi ran through the back of the orchard and out over the exercise field.His legs carried him faster than they ever had before. 

“Levi!” A shout ran out from behind him, but he ran on without turning to look.Seconds were precious now.

Shouts and cries were ringing out as the emergency bells started ringing out across the base and the night torches were lit.

Running into the stable Levi found it gratefully devoid of soldiers.He ran across the the storage closets and found it freshly stocked with emergency rations.The swords were dull old models normally used for training, but it was something.There were some old uniforms there too, they were a bit worn and too big but better than what he was wearing now.Without waiting he stuffed it all in the saddle bag and wheeled around to find a horse.Shadow was still recovering from the break, but Wind was standing there.Eren wouldn’t mind if Levi took him—he had bigger problems coming for him by the sounds of what was going on outside.Why would the idiot have transformed on base?Levi led the horse out of the stable and into the dark.

Jumping up on the saddle, Levi trotted him towards the back gates.He could hear the sounds of recruits yelling and intermittent roars from Eren.He looked back and saw the titan appeared to have ripped part of the roof of the hospital building.He was covered in blood from the dozens of scouts there flying around him cutting into his flesh.Levi could faintly make out Mikasa who seemed to be hanging onto Eren’s neck and fighting back other scouts that were trying to reach Eren’s nape.

Suddenly a pang of guilt hit Levi.What would happen to Eren if he left now?Would he be OK?Would he survive.Levi looked down at the ground. 

_We can’t save him this time Levi.We need to save ourselves._

His eyes caught the pastel blue of the t-shirt he was wearing.He couldn’t save both Eren and himself tonight.He hadn’t asked for any of this.Eren would need to look after himself this time.He healed quickly.He was half tempted to join in the Melee and get a few slices in of his own, buthis escape was more important.

Suddenly, the sounds of a pained titan scream ran out across the base.Heavy vibrations ran through the earth.

Pulling up on the reins he kicked his heels into the Wind’s thighs.The horse whinnied and changed its pace to a gallop headed through the south gate.

Levi flicked his eyes back over his shoulder,Eren was running with a stagger after him.He saw a scout fly around his legs and cut at his ankle causing him to stumble.

“Levi,” the titan called out in a mutilated cry.

Levi leant his head forward and whispered into the horse's ear, “fly”.The animal started to race, it’s legs lifting up on onward over the ground.

“Eren, stop!” Levi heard Mikasa’s desperate shout ring out.

There was another explosion and a massive thud as the titan fell to the ground on the edge of the base.Scouts swarmed his body. Levi kept his eyes ahead.

_Farewell, you bastards._

As the horse pulled away from the base Levi felt the exhilaration in him build.He could taste it, his escape.If he rode through the night there was a good chance he could get far enough away that they’d never find him.The titans would be unlikely to be on the move at this time.

_Give me man-eating titans over that bullshit any day._

The full moon was out and guiding his way.He’d ridden this path enough times to know it even in the dark.He could do it.He could survive out here.He would walk his own path.He didn’t need anyone else.This was who he was meant to be, unbound.This was his story.

With the wind at his back, he left his old life.There would be no more lies because there would be no more humans.He would not be an Omega because there would be no Alphas.He would simply be him.

Levi lifted his head and looked up to the night sky and laughed.He was glad Eren had done it, he was glad it was over, he was finally, properly and truly free.

***


	9. The wild

_"Yeah, but you got away, didn't you babe?_

_You just turned your back on the crowd_

_When you got away,_

_I never once heard you say '_ _I need you',_

_I don't need you"_

(Chelsea Hotel - L. Cohen)

_October 851_

After riding through the night, the next few days passed quickly for Levi. He was now faced with the daily tasks of survival, which afforded him the mental break he needed to recover. Shelter, food, water and heat were all vital, along with ensuring he travelled far enough each day to stay out of reach of any search party that might have been sent, though he figured after three days that not even Erwin would be stubborn enough to risk the lives of his scouts trying to follow Levi this far beyond the base.

Levi was lucky that on the first two days ride from base there were plenty of abandoned towns and outposts dotting the route. These would often have the remains of old vegetable patches and orchards that had been left to grow wild.

The titans themselves tended to leave Levi alone. He knew that one advantage of travelling alone was that he was much less likely to draw their attention than he would as part of a group. He’d run into a couple of three metre titans that he’d had to fight, but found that he could generally hide or outrun bigger titans on Wind by ducking under tree cover when available.

He’d managed to find a basic tent at the second outpost he had visited, which offered protection against the elements, although he hated trying to keep it clean. Sanitation had been a challenge so far. He felt constantly filthy and would try to bathe whenever he came across a stream.

The biggest issue however turned out to be adjusting to life without suppressants. The first few days with a restored sense of smell and taste were too much for him, the only foods he could only get down water and biscuits — fruits were overwhelmingly sweet. After a week or so he started to gradually adjust to his new senses.

Levi was now seated in front of his campfire on the edge of wooded terrain that he and Wind had just passed through. Grasslands opened up before him and Levi saw they were at the entrance to a long valley stretching on for miles ahead. The valley was lined by hills and broken segments of gentle cliffs on either side. Levi guessed it was at least a mile wide. To the left of him the Ursa mountain range started to rise up. This was farther than Levi had ever ventured before, but he remembered the terrain from the survey maps he’d studied. There was no record or what lay at the end of the valley or behind the mountains — it was literally off the map from here on out. He led Wind over to the cliffs. He’d found a nice ledge that jutted out from the cliffside and gave a view over the valley floor below. There were a few conifers offering protection from the elements and the slabs of clean granite were a nice change from a dirt floor. Wind was nibbling at some of the fresh pine cones that had recently sprouted from the trees whilst Levi was tending to the fire.

Levi emptied his flask of water into the portable kettle he’d found at an abandoned cottage a few days ago. His ration pack had some tea and he was going to try to experiment with very lightly brewing it and seeing how he would find the taste. He opened the paper packet and breathed gently in from a distance. He was slowly relearning to enjoy the sense of smell and to identify scents again. This tea had a woody scent and there was a spiciness to it. He dropped a teaspoon into the makeshift strainer he had fashioned and dunked it in the hot water for only a few seconds. Removing the tea, he blew on the hot water for a minute before bringing the cup to his lips. Levi tested it with his tongue, before taking a gentle sip.

 _Peppery?_ Levi tried to think back to the tastes he’d known before going on suppressants.

He took another small sip and let the liquid flow over his tongue. It was comforting. Levi shifted himself to sit on the thin sleeping mat. Wind had come over to check out the tea and had decided to sit down next to Levi, something the horse rarely did. Levi ran a hand through the horse’s mane. He moved up and rested his back against the Wind’s shoulder and gave him a good scratch.

“You’re such a good horse.” Wind gave a snort. 

“You are. I won’t hear you say anything different.” The horse flicked his mane before lowering his head to rest beside Levi.

The sun pitched lower and its rays bounced off the stone walls on to the valley below. Quartz-deposits in the stone dazzled in the light.

“What are we going to do out here? I’m not exactly the best of company.” The horse gave a yawn.

He could do this. Levi could do this.

***

After a week of being on the road Levi decided to look for somewhere with more permanent shelter. He was now far enough away that it was virtually impossible a Scout patrol would run into him and it was stressful not knowing where he would sleep at night. He’d past a number of deserted small villages that he could use as a base, although he thought it would be slightly creepy being the only person living in a village. He needed a location close to running water, a strong structure already in place, it couldn’t be too decrepit and preferably it would be near a forest or wooded area so that he could hunt and gather nearby food.

The next morning he spotted an old watchtower at the top of a nearby hill rising up behind the cliffs. It was a circular building, like a single turret of a castle, with a few small windows dotted around it. The nearby woods had reclaimed most of the hillside, but it still would give a great vantage point across the valley he’d been travelling through for the past two days.

“What do you think Wind? Does it look like a home?”

The horse gave a muted response as Levi led him up the hillside.

The main door to the tower was still bolted shut, but the lock was badly rusted and broke away in Levi’s hands. He pushed it open and peered inside. There was a serious dust problem. A month ago this would have caused his extreme anxiety but he was learning to tone down his cleanliness standards now he was free from civilisation.

Walking around the central room he was pleased to see it was dry. Many of the structures had damaged roofs, allowing rain to seep in and cause mould to grow, but the stone ceiling appeared to have remained watertight. There was only a single room on the ground floor but a spiral staircase around the perimeter led to another room above it, and then appeared to keep going to the roof of the tower. There was a fireplace to the side of the room and chimney overhead. Levi leaned out the window on the second floor. A river ran through the base of the valley and Levi could see some waterbirds coming in for landing. Behind the tower the Ursa mountain range stretched further upward. Levi continued walking up to the roof top and found a family of winged gulls had made a nest in the parapets. They seemed to have been liberal with where they pooped on the roof causing Levi to scrunch up his nose in disgust. It was bright up here, the sun reflecting off the stone. Some of the mortar in between the stones had crumbled away and there were a few weeds that had taken root, but generally it was in sound condition.

Levi walked back outside next to Wind, who was grazing on the grass outside the tower.

“I like it. No stable for you but I’ll let you come inside if it rains and you wipe your hooves. At least until we build you a shelter. Should we give it a name?”

Wind lowered his head to Levi, which Levi had learned to interpret as a request for an ear scratch.

“How about Chateau Levi?”

The horse bucked up against his hand. 

“A bit boring isn’t it?.. And I’m not sure how much of the old Levi is left in me Wind to be honest. Maybe it's time to change that too.”

Wind gave his hand a lick.

Levi looked back at the tower. 

“What do you think of Chateau Rivaille?”

***

Levi spent the next few weeks trying to get his new life started. He drew up a long list of items he would need to try and find in the abandoned villages nearby to make his life here bearable. He needed an axe for firewood, flint to light fires, candles for light at night, tools to start building some furniture, cloth and feathers to try to make a bed, buckets to store water, soap for (frequent) bathing, (hopefully one day) a bath so he could wash in hot water, the list went on and on.

Levi was a fairly novice hunter and catching game had turned out to be harder than fighting titans. He needed to try to make or find a bow and arrow and perhaps some traps. On his first serious foraging attempt, Levi quickly realised his knowledge of plants was woefully inadequate. The wood was full of fruiting tree and shrubs, but he only recognised one or two species and wasn’t sure if eating from any of the others was worth the risk. It was difficult to get enough food each day and Levi was slightly worried at the rate he was going through his remaining rations. He might need to travel back to one of the overgrown orchards.

Levi was also continuing to adjust to a life without suppressants. It wasn’t just his senses that had changed but he felt his body and mind adjust to the new hormones he had started to produce. He would go through mood swings throughout the day and find it hard to know why. He sometimes found himself more sensitive to old memories that would stir in his mind. His muscles seemed to have softened slightly.

He did feel that he was making progress though in establishing this new life for himself. At night he would light a fire in the tower and sip a cup of tea and gaze out at the night sky across the valley.

There was always a cacophony of insects and birds at sunset, but once the sun had retreated it became deathly quiet in the tower. The only noise were Wind’s gentle braying and the odd hoot from an owl.

After finishing his tea, Levi pulled his cloak up and around him as he lay down on the sleeping mat. He was finally safe again. Safe and free. He could put his past behind him now and move on. He closed his eyes and thought about the future life he could build here.

Except, now that he had finally reached the point of safety, so that he did have time to properly think, Levi found that his brain would not stay fixed on the future.

Instead it flicked back. Over and over again.

Back to the memory of viridian eyes. 

***

Levi tossed and turned that night in his sleep.

He had a strange dream. He was with Eren in huge room with glass walls. They could see for miles around, it must have been very high. But instead of trees and grass land all he could see where buildings. And buildings unlike any he'd seen before. They weren't made out of brick or wood, but other materials he couldn't recognise. 

Then Eren turned and started running away from him. Levi chased but couldn't catch him. And all he could hear was his screaming - "I'll kill you, I'll kill you, I'll kill you."

***


	10. Memories

_Well, my friends are gone and my hair is grey  
I ache in the places where I used to play  
And I'm crazy for love but I'm not coming on  
I'm just paying my rent every day in the Tower of Song_

(L. Cohen – Tower of Song)

It rained heavily for the next three days making hunting miserable. The stone building dulled the sound of the rain that was falling above.

Levi was sitting on a stump of a tree that he had dragged in from the woods.

“An armchair would be nice right about now,” he said aloud to Wind, whom true to his word he had allowed inside during the rain. Levi led him outside whenever he had the slightest suspicion the horse needed to ‘heed nature’s call’, which was frequent and equally annoying for both of them.

Levi had started to fashion a bow from some light wood he had soaked and was now carving and bending into shape. He felt guilty but he had to cut some of Wind’s tail hairs off to use for the bowstring. He promised Wind he would find him some carrots in return.

It was odd being alone all the time. 

Well being alone from any human company. Levi had always considered himself as introverted and solitary, but now that it was forced upon him, in absolute terms, he wondered how true that was. He hadn’t openly shown affection in his past because he thought it made him look weak. He knew he didn’t like to feel weak, but did that mean he wasn’t affectionate?

“How much of me is made up of the person I thought I should be?” Levi asked the horse. Wind was proving to be quite a suitable therapist for Levi.

Levi now faced the freedom to act however he would like without the thought that he would displease or please anyone else. The freedom threw into sharp relief the fact that Levi didn’t really know how he wanted to act. A domesticated animal released back into the wild.

He looked at the pale blue t-shirt that was hanging in the corner drying next to the worn out scouts uniform. He walked over and rubbed the material between his finger tips. It was still a bit damp, but the material was soft. He ran his hand of the Scouts uniform next to it.

Levi felt lost, his reactions were driven so strongly by what he thought others would think of him, that it was difficult to try and see past that and work out what (if any) natural inclination lay below it all. He knew he wanted to live a life where he was more in tune with himself, but knew that didn’t mean just doing the opposite of what he had done before. 

He would just have to give it time to work out what his interests really were, and then to pursue them.

A rumble in his stomach reminded him there were more immediate issues to resolve as he went back to the bow and arrow before him. In order to distract himself he starting humming a childhood lullaby as his knife scraped against the wood in his hand.

***

The next week Levi rode Wind back to the nearest town with an orchard. His hunting skills were still poor. He’d managed to catch a single rabbit which had provided him with a bit of sustenance. He had felt so guilty when he caught it, which was surprising. He had killed more than his far share of titans, normally without feeling anything at all. But now he felt the loss when he ended the rabbit’s life.

The old town was roughly an hour’s ride from the tower. He stood in the overgrown pear orchard and reached up to pick some of the rosy pink and green pears hanging from the tree. His fingers ran over smooth waxy, skin. He could feel each bump and imperfection.

Levi lifted up the pear and took a bite. Juice spilled out from the fruit and ran down his chin, dripping to the ground below. The flavour was amazing, so sweet, so tart, so juicy! He laughed as he handed another pear to Wind. 

“How many of these do you think we can eat in one sitting?” 

Levi saw some apples growing beside the pear orchard. Hopefully there would be some vegetable patches amongst the overgrown weeds. 

***

_As the quiet nights in the wild passed by in succession, Levi slowly allowed himself to revisit the events of the week that led up to the end of his old life: the attack at the river, the ride with Eren, the female titan, the cave, Eren’s eyes, the high, shadow puppets on skin, crying in the stream, the long ride home, showering, waiting, the cat calls, Eren’s face at the table, Erwin’s tongue on his gland, drying vomit, Hange’s choked tears, the doctor’s gloved hands, Petra’s tracksuit, Eren’s screams, the southern gate._

These events were each painful in their own unique way and it was difficult to deal with them all together. So he tried to treat them individually. He’d replay the event in his mind and wonder what he could or should have done differently, or if he even wanted it to have gone another way.

He thought about all the players involved and wondered what had gone so wrong that resulted in them all acting as they had over those final days.

What had he done to make Erwin so suspicious of him that he would search his room and break into his safe? Hadn’t he followed the man’s orders during his time in the Scouts with diligence? Levi had thought Erwin had pretty unshakeable trust in him — he’d given him command of his own squad. Levi’s mind flashed back to much earlier memories of Erwin when they were both younger. That summer night on rec leave when a drunken Erwin had made a pass at Levi…

Why had Hange agreed to give Levi a reactant to the suppressants without his knowledge? Didn’t she always go on about the ethics of medicine and the patients right to choose? If she was so worried about him why didn’t she ever just flat out ask Levi directly if he was hiding his gender?

Why didn’t any of his other ‘friends’ or comrades come to his aid that night in the Mess Hall? Couldn’t one of them have spoken up in his defence in front of the jeers and cat calls? Or did they honestly not see the effect it was having on him.

These were all painful questions and Levi did his best to try to answer them honestly.

How many times had he shut down Erwin and Hange whenever they tried to discuss anything of a personal nature at all? How many gentle efforts had they made over the years to get Levi to open up that he had flat out rejected? How many times had he belittled and made fun of other Scouts for their gender, or failed to stop others from doing so? How would he feel if the situation had been flipped and Hange was taking suppressants that might have been killing her? What would his life have looked like if he had continued on uninterrupted?

The suspected answers to these questions didn’t absolve the people involved for their actions but they did dampen the fury that had been born in Levi that night.

But all of these questions really paled in comparison to the two omnipresent (and perhaps existential) questions that had grown to dominate Levi’s thoughts, which were, of course:

Why would Eren betray him?

And, how had Levi fallen in love with him regardless?

***

In the night air outside the tower a flock of geese were flying far overhead. They formed an arrow formation and rode the air with ease. It was about time to start the migration south, less they suffer the misery of a winter without food. One of the geese cocked an eye down to observe the solitary light on the hill beneath them. It stood out as if it were the north star on an otherwise black night. Some hours later they would fly over the Scouts’ HQ, where there were considerably more lights on.

***

Erwin Smith was knelt over the toilet. He looked at the remnants of his dinner that he had purged into the bowl. He flushed it away and washed his hands at the faucet. Avoiding his own gaze he focused on scrubbing his hands clean.

“Darling, are you OK in there? You’ve been in there a while,” Nanaba called out to her mate.

“I’m fine, I’ll be out in a minute dear,” Erwin replied.

Erwin clutched the sides of the basin and counted slowly down from 20.

He had made many mistakes in his life, luckily most when he was younger and able to repair them easily, but he had never made a mistake as big as he had the night of Levi’s departure.

But it had hurt. Oh! How deep it had hurt. 

Erwin sought to convince himself in the aftermath that it was the hurt of one friend whoe had been lied to by another, but as time went on he couldn’t deny that the true pain was the rejection he had felt. The rejection of a spurned lover. His mind flicked back.

***

June 845

_The Horsehead Inn – Sina_

“Why are you so serious all the time, shitty eyebrows” Levi drawled.

“Why are you so sullen?”

“I’m Vitamin D defi – defishen – deficient.”

“You made that up.”

“Didn’t.” Levi hiccupped.

Shadis’ squad had finally finished their godawful joint training program with the military police in the capital – something that made them reconsider their assessment of whether titans really were the greater evil – and their leader had taken his Squad out to finally have a night to relax and let loose. Shadis had decided to help ease things along with two of his squarer team-members, Erwin and Levi, by ordering the team participate in a drinking competion. He knew that neither was fond of drink so rightly deduced the only way they’d let themselves relax was if it was behind the cover of a competitive exercise. As Shadis bade them goodnight, and the rest of the squad peeled off one by one, he wondered if perhaps he’d been too successful in his endeavour.

“No but seriously how did they grow so big. Do you think they’ll ever join up one day into a shitty monobrow?”

“You are quite obsessed with my eyebrows, aren’t you?”

“I am.”

Erwin leaned in to Levi’s face and smirked.

“Do you want to touch them?”

Levi laughed and reached up and brushed one softly

“Bushy.”

They both laughed over their ale. Neither was used to being intoxicated and each were experiencing the thrill of finally finding their inhibitions were lowered. It was suddenly easier to talk and to laugh freely. It had been over a year since they had first met in the underground and they’d now learned to work together in the same squad.

“I’m glad you joined us Levi.”

“Don’t get sentimet – sentimenta – sentimental on me eyebrows.”

“Why are you so stubborn?” Erwin said pointing his finger at Levi’s face, and failing to hold his hand steady as it rocked side to side. The Alpha looked at his younger comrade’s face. He’d recognised when they met that Levi was handsome, but in the candle light he was especially so.

“Why are you so annoying,” Levi said in a half teasing manner. He had despised the Alpha at first – walking around like he was god’s gift to man -- but Erwin had gradually gained his respect as a fighter and leader.

“Why are you so cute?”

It had just slipped out. Erwin hadn’t realised he said it until the delayed shock in Levi’s eyes registered in his. Levi just stared at him.

“What?”

Erwin broke out into a nervous smile.

“Ah, I mean,”

He scratched his neck. What did he mean? He looked at Levi, at his smooth alabaster skin and dark eyes. The delicate pink lips before him. 

_In for a penny._

Erwin extended a hand on to Levi’s shoulder and moved forward. He bent down and used his other hand to turn Levi into him. His lips pressed against Levi’s as he kissed him gently.

And for a moment, for those briefest of seconds, but a moment as real as any other, and one not diminished by its brevity, Erwin had felt Levi lean back into him, to join him in the kiss as two lovers would.

The brief wondrous joy was soon replaced by the pain of a fist slamming into his cheek and the emptiness of the space between him as he recoiled in shock from Levi’s response.

“What the fuck Erwin? I’m not gay. And I definitely don’t want to fuck some dumb Alpha.” Levi had hissed at him before leaving the room.

***

Now many years later, Erwin stood looking in the mirror and mulled over those words again (as he had many times earlier).

It was the pain for him of knowing that if had he played his cards differently, if he had he put the same code in a different order, or found just one more missing piece to the puzzle, that it may have worked out differently between Levi and himself.  
  
He had thought he had left those feelings behind. He had moved on. He had found Nanaba. She was the love of his life, she was stable, caring, supportive.

He told himself that ordering the search of Levi’s room had been driven solely by concern for Levi as his friend. He had known something was wrong and he and Hange had tried for, literally, years to get Levi to open up to no avail. When Hange told him the drugs in the safe could potentially be used to suppress gender he’d wondered.

It had shocked him how deep the hurt ran when he had heard the rumour that Levi was and Omega and had spent his heat with Jaeger. It was like peeling off a bandage to find the wound had not healed but had simply festered.

And so he’d betrayed Levi’s trust and thrown him out. Out of his own stupid and petty pride being injured by Levi’s rejection of him. 

Now he’d lost the Scout’s most feared warrior, along with their only titan shifter. Self-loathing pooled in his gut.

“Darling?” Nanaba called out.

“Coming.”

***


	11. Reunion

_"If you are the dealer_   
_I'm out of the game_   
_If you are the healer it means_   
_I'm broken and lame_   
_If thine is the glory then_   
_Mine must be the shame_   
_You want it darker_   
_We kill the flame"_

(You want it darker - L. Cohen)

A week later Levi was sat cross-legged on a boulder. The smooth rock had perched itself at the bend on the river and let him peer into the clear waters below. He’d managed to fashion a small fishing net and was periodically casting it in the river beneath him, so far without any success. He’d once managed to catch a small minnow, but it was so tiny he decided it was better to release it than to try to eat it.

He looked along the riverbank following its path upwards into the streams that flowed down from the snow caps of the mountains. His eyes suddenly caught the appearance of a 3 metre titan slowly plodding down the river bank. Its eyes were vacant as it trundled through the reeds. Levi jumped to a squat and drew his sword. This was his first titan encounter in weeks – god knows where they’d all gone. He was slightly nervous given the lack of any OMD equipment. The titan crashed around haphazardly and seemed to pay no attention to Levi. It was odd. Normally at this distance he’d expect it to recognise him as human and make an attack. He watched it while his hand squeezed the sword’s grip tightly. But nothing happened. The titan bounced around, splashing in the bank, it even looked at Levi directly, stopped and stared, then continued on its way past him. Levi waited for his chance, then silently ran up behind it, jumped through the air and sliced its nape. It let out a gurgled cry before slumping to its knees and falling down dead. It hadn’t even moved to defend itself from him.

_Must have been defective._

Levi cleaned the sword in the water of the river. It had been a sunny morning, but he could see a heavy cumulus nimbus slowly moving in from the south. He would have to abandon this fishing exercise soon. It was frustrating realising just how poor his education had been to sustain himself in the wild on his own. All that time wasted on reading—if only he’d spent one or two days learning about which mushrooms would kill you if you tried to eat them.

Soon the sky started spitting down on him and he begrudgingly retreated back to the tower on the hill. He had brought up a fresh pail of water with him for his kettle. Levi brought in some more fire wood and let Wind in before it started to rain any heavier.

Levi had recently finished his bow and had moved on to try and fashion some arrows which he quickly learned was the hard part of a bow and arrow set. It was so difficult shaving the wood down to a straight line without any professional tools, but he perserved nonetheless. He ate one of the last few apples while he worked, their sweetness having wained with time. The hunger he felt reminded him of his childhood. That anxiety of not being certain where the next meal would come from or when it would arrive. He told himself that he’d revisit the abandoned village tomorrow for another supply run.

Boom.

Rolling thunder had started and Levi had to shut the window boards to stop the rain coming in.

The cracks in the boards were illuminated by flashes from time to time as lightning chased across the sky outside. 

Wind didn’t like the thunder and was pawing the ground and shaking his head. Levi got up to scratch his ears. 

“It’s nothing to worry about Wind, just a storm."

Levi busied himself tidying up the room and then getting the fire lit so he could make a cup of tea. 

It was really thundering down now and rain lashed the tower with a steady beat. He was grateful for the tower – if he’d been in a tent now he would be drenched to the bone.

He went to grab the kettle--

BOOM!

Levi jumped as enormous crack of thunder rolled out.

“It’s just a storm Wind, it will be over---

BOOM!

Levi jumped again. Jesus what was that – it didn’t sound like thunder.

Levi ran up the stairs to the ceiling of the tower, grabbing his cloak and sword along the way. He emerged from the trap door and into the pouring rain. 

The sun had long set and there was no moon tonight. He couldn’t see anything, he tried to focus and quell the fear that had risen in his stomach. 

Something wasn’t right.

All at once an arc of lightning lit up the sky, it’s jagged course soaring over the valley below. The lightning illuminated the scene below for one long second. There were a hoard of titans in the valley crowding around two central figures engaged in a struggle. The slamming of fist on skin creating defeaning blows. 

Blackness. The lightning receeded and he was left alone again. The sounds didn’t stop as he heard the savage fight going on beneath him. The smack of skin against skin punctuated by screams and roars from the beasts.

A new chain of lightning ran out from the clouds. 

He saw the strong back of the titan facing away from him. The arms lifted, the feet in fighting pose, he saw the block, the block he had instructed. He knew instantly.

Eren was being swarmed. A pair of 3-metre titans clung to his legs. A 15-metre clawing at his back and another swinging at him in front.   
  
Levi didn’t have to think. He leapt down from the tower to the ground below and ran down into the valley. His mind found the blank place it would enter when he was in a battle and he let himself become a creature of instinct.

On the next flash he watched the 15-metre titan gouge out one of Eren’s eyes, whilst the other tore at the flesh on his shoulder. There were more titans than he had seen at first.

Levi flew like a bird down into the hell below. The titans were so loud he could hear them through the rain and thunder. He would start with the little bastards first. Waiting for the flashes of illumination he would pick a target then leap and cut them down. They never saw or heard him coming. One by one he picked them off first freeing Eren’s legs.

Levi circled back out of the melee to guage up his next move. Eren had decapitated one of the 15-metre beasts, but two more had wandered in from the shadows beyond, joining the one left hacking at his back. Levi had no hookshot so would need to settle for hacking their ankles and trying to get them to fall. He ran up the outside and sliced deep into the tendons of the first titan. He could feel the blood splash out and warm his face in the rain. It was rewarding finally getting to put his skills to use again.

He ran to the next leg and was ready to slice when the titan fell, he tried to jump off the foot, but it caught his leg and sent him flying. He face planted in the mud and pain shot through his body. It was stronger than before and he was temporarily immobilised. 

A broken cry rang out above as he saw one of the titan’s snap off Eren’s left arm. He watched as Eren fell to his knees. How many had he fought before Levi found him? How long had he been in titan form?

Levi pulled himself out of the mud and threw his body forward slicing at the ankle of the titan on Eren, relishing the sound of the giant ligament snapping like a bow string.

He entered the killing zone then and continued on automatic, hunting out the remaining titans in the dark night and hacking away at them. Scaling their fallen bodies to pierce their napes. Beast after beast piling up on the valley floor.

Finally, after one of the longest onslaughts in his life he could hear no more roars or cries in the night. Only the steady patter of the rain and regular rolls of the thunder. He could breathe again.

Levi walked over to Eren’s hulking form. He had lain down on his side. The arm had not grown back. Levi approached his giant head, the long hairs splayed out, soaked with water.

His face came into view. Titan blood smeared across it – how much from the others and how much his own Levi didn’t know. One eye socket was crushed and hadn’t repaired itself either. The other lay closed. He neared the face.

“Eren?”

The titan didn’t respond.

Levi stepped closer to the face, unsure how the titan would react to his presence.

“EREN!”

On the next flash Levi saw that the great eye had flicked open and then they found each other. The eye was bloodshot and raw. It had a look of defeat in it and of desperation. Levi immediately understood.

He jumped up on his neck as Eren slumped forward giving him access to his nape. Levi stood over him and carefully located the middle of his spine, feeling the skin beneath and counting then recounting the distance required. Raising up his sword he cut a diamond shape beneath him as the Titan’ let out a final roar. There was a great hiss of steam and blood pooled around he ankles. He threw himself into the flesh and buried himself clawing away at it. His hands ripped through sinew and muscle, searching and then finally latching on to it, to him. Levi pulled and pulled. He felt himself sinking in the pool of burning flesh. 

“EREN, cmon!”

Levi located his other arm and used all his strength and lifted with all his might. There was a snap and they flew backwards. Eren’s hands and feet severed off leaving bloody stumps. Levi rolled Eren over, feeling his way in the dark. He felt his neck, pressing his two fingers deep against the jugular. 

_Please, please,_

He felt a heartbeat. Relief.

Levi let himself collapse on Eren’s body. He was alive.

***


	12. Baby steps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who is reading this and leaving comments.
> 
> Who else just watched the first episode of season 4 :o.

_"Ring the bells that still can ring  
Forget your perfect offering  
There is a crack, a crack in everything  
That's how the light gets in"_

(L. Cohen - The Anthem)

Eren felt complete. His mind was wandering through the last vestiges of a deep sleep and slowly tuning back into reality. He was warm and dry. Where was he again? His aches and cuts had healed. 

A delicate scent wrapped around him. He felt … hard? 

His nether regions had responded to the scent and he had sprung wood. He was rubbing it somewhere warm and wet. He realised he was holding an Omega in his arms. 

His eyes cracked open and he saw deep black hair before him. He leant in and breathed deeply, his head involuntarily lolled back at the smell. The body in front of him started to stir. He looked down at the bare neck and traced his nose along it, then wandered up the shoulder, over the light muscle showing under the skin. His mouth found a faded bite mark on the nape. He was confused, he felt a sense of déjà vu. 

Eren’s tongue reached out to trace the lines of the mark. The Omega purred and Eren felt the body press back against himself, allowing Eren’s length to slip between the Omega’s legs, nestling in his thighs. Eren let out a moan and bit down on the skin.

His bite caused an instant reaction that seemed to defy physics. 

The body in front of him leapt six feet in the air and spun around. However, the body became tangled in the blanket that had travelled with him and fell to the ground. Eren’s mind suddenly clicked that he had been humping his erection between his Captain’s legs. 

Equal parts fear and humiliation rose in him as he jumped out to assist Levi. He offered his hand to Levi only to realise he was now totally naked and his dick was swinging in the open air. 

Eren yelped and grabbed the blanket, inadvertently flipping Levi over, and Eren yelped again as he saw Levi was also totally naked, now in a very compromising position on the ground before him, Eren yelped a third time and threw the blanket back over Levi to protect his modesty and looked desperately around for his clothes. All he could see was a soiled bundle of cloth in the corner, so he instead picked up the sleeping mat and crouched behind it.

“Jesus Eren what the hell?”

“I’m sorry Sir!”

Levi was rubbing his eyes, his hair was dishevelled, he looked so … cute? Jesus, his scent. Omega?

“You’re an Omega!?”

Levi sighed and looked at Eren.

The taste from Levi’s skin was dancing on Eren’s tongue. Eren’s mind started to flood with memories. _The camp, the fire._

“Oh god.”

_The high, Levi’s lips on him, being inside him._

“Oh god, we had sex!” Eren exclaimed.

Levi covered his face with his hands.

_The morning after, Levi’s tears in the stream, the ride home, Mikasa and Armin, the Mess Hall._

“Oh fuck.”

_The fight with Zacharius, the fight with the others, his transformation, his desperation to get to Levi, running after him, and then a long period of blackness._

Levi’s eyes were on the floor.

Eren felt woozy, as if his brain had been overfilled with information that was now pouring out the sides. He closed his eyes for a moment and rubbed his scalp. When he opened them Levi was looking at him on the other side of the sleeping mat. His face was fixed with sort of grimace.

_I’m the reason he’s here._

“I didn’t mean to tell them—

“It’s OK Eren.” Levi turned around and went to open the window.

Eren needed to explain to Levi what happened, but he also needed to get clothed.

“I need to talk to you about it, but, ah, well do you have anything I can wear?”

Levi nodded and looked around the room. He pulled the blanket tight around his waist as he went to the corner and slipped into some tracksuit pants. He then handed Eren the blanket who gratefully tied it around his own waist.

“I need to wash our clothes before we can wear them again.”

Eren nodded.

“Take a seat on that stump. I’ll make us some tea.” Levi instructed. Eren just nodded and sat down.

Eren’s mind was whirring as it reprocessed each of the memories in turn. 

He watched Levi’s back as he tended to the fire. He still had a some muscle on his back, but his waist was slim. There was virtually no fat left at all and Eren could see veins protruding.

Eren took in the room. It was bare of furniture aside from two stumps of wood that Levi must have brought in from the woods. Some provisions appeared piled in the corner and Eren made out a bow and arrows resting against the wall. How long had Levi lived here? There was nothing here. A sense of self-loathing rose within him.

“I didn’t tell them Captain, they, they could smell what had happened and Armin guessed, though he didn’t tell anyone, I can’t remember, but ---”

“Shh.” Levi said. “Tea first.”

Eren sat silently. He had failed Levi. He’d caused the Omega to lose his home, his livelihood, and now he was starving and alone in the wilderness. He cursed himself for his stupidity.

Levi joined him after a minute.

“I’ve only one cup I’m afraid, we’ll have to share.” Levi said handing it to Eren.

“Thank you.” Eren took the cup and took a sip. 

“How long has it been Captain?”

“I’m not your captain anymore, Eren. About a month give or take a few days”

“I’m… I’ve, I’ve destroyed your life.”

“Stop apologising Eren.”

Eren stared at the cup in his hands. It was hard to bear. The guilt.

“It’s not your fault Eren. I didn’t think about it. Of course they could have picked it up from your scent too.” Levi was looking at the ceiling overhead. “It must have been obvious. Anyway. It was just a matter of time really.”

“Why is life so fucking hard?” Eren said bitterly.

Levi laughed. The sat for a while in silence, each taking turns to sip tea from the solitary cup. Eren was nervous that Levi would kick him out at any minute following the dry humping incident, on top of any residual anger that he had kept over the past month, but the Omega, his Captain, seemed oddly calm about it.

“It’s not so bad really. I feel… lighter in a way.”

Eren didn’t know what to say.

“Where are we anyway?”

“We’re on the edges of the northern valley and the Ursa mountain range, it’s about a week’s ride from base. This is an abandoned watchtower.”

“We are a week’s ride from base?” Eren asked, his eyes widening.

“Mmm.” Levi vocalised with a nod.

Eren took a moment to digest this information.

“It’s OK, I’ve got Wind for company.” Levi added. 

“What? Wind is here? My horse”

“He is right outside”

“I have to say hi!” Eren leapt up and towards the door. He opened it and sunlight rushed in. The storm had cleared leaving behind blue skies and a bright sunny day.

“Wind!”

The horse was grazing some metres away from the tower. Eren ran over and gave the horse a hug around its neck.

“Did you miss me?”

The horse continued to graze.

“Aww, I missed you too.” Eren threaded his fingers through the horse’s mane.

Levi had followed Eren outside and came up to scratch Wind’s ears on the other side. The peace was broken by a gurgle from Eren’s stomach.

“Ah, Levi do you have anything to eat? I’m pretty hungry.”

“Ah, well”. Levi scratched the back of his neck, “I’m still sort of working on it, it’s been a bit … challenging”

“Oh.” Eren wished a hole would open up and swallow him. 

“Why don’t I get us something?” A smile lit up Eren’s face. This was finally a chance to be useful to Levi for once. 

“You can hunt?”

“Pshhh -- Sure, kasa and I used to hunt all the time when we were kids”

“Ok well that would be good… thanks.”

***

An hour later Eren was walking through the forest in damp underclothes. He could have waited for them to dry but the comfortable silence between him and Levi seemed to have been replaced by an awkward silence pretty quickly after Eren had asked him when he planned to go back to base --- to which Levi had replied with a curt “never”.

Eren’s mind had reeled at the notion that Levi was planning to stay out here, deep in titan territory, alone, forever. Eren couldn’t even workout what Levi thought of him being here. Was he happy to see him? It didn’t help him work out his own thoughts in Levi’s presence either, his scent was so overwhelming that if Levi had asked Eren to bond him Eren was sure he would immediately comply.

The woods were lovely, dark and deep. And gave him some alone time with his thoughts.

It didn’t take Eren long to find prey. The ground was littered with fresh tracks from hare and deer. There were relatively few predators here given that titans didn’t eat animals and there were few carnivorous species. Actually, it seemed a kind of Eden, with a myriad of streams and fruiting trees and edible mushrooms. Eren felt grateful for the lessons Armin’s grandfather had given them in foraging when they were children.

Eren eventually found a herd of deer and sat perched on a rock waiting to get a clear shot with his bow.

Eren narrowed his mind. He had to concentrate on hunting. Levi was obviously not eating enough and Eren was going to fix that. He let slip the arrow and it flew through the air.

***

Eren returned to the Tower in the afternoon. Wind and Levi were no where to be seen, which caused him some momentary panic until he saw that Levi had carved a note onto the door of the tower

_Be back soon. Don’t burn down the Tower._

Eren set about preparing the carcass from his hunt. He’d taken off his shirt to use as a sack and had filled it with a mix of mushrooms, herbs and nuts that he’d found on the walk back.

After he’d finished the prep, he went down to the stream to bathe and wash away the day’s work. The water was freezing, but he knew Levi would appreciate it if he wasn’t covered in blood and sweat on his return.

Eren gazed up at the cliffs and hills surrounding the valley – he felt so alone out here. All his life he had wanted to travel beyond the walls and now that he was here he was faced with the enormity of it. Endless open space. How long could they live out here? When would they next run into a titan? He had no idea how many of them actually lived out here. Would it be a daily issue? Weekly? How could this be a better option for Levi than living back at base or back in Shinanshiga?

Eren tried to put himself in Levi’s shoes. Sure, it was uncommon to present as a male Omega, but Eren had met a few in his life that seemed relatively happy. Not that the underground would have been a particularly easy place to grow up as an Omega. What had happened that had made Levi want to totally suppress his nature? How would Eren have felt if he’d been an Omega? It was difficult to imagine. Eren had been so focussed in dealing with the life of shifter that the nature of his gender hadn’t ever really occupied his thoughts, it had been a thankfully easy part of his life to accept. Although given that it had now led him this far from civilisation he began to wonder how easy his gender would be to handle going forward. He had not chosen an easy person to fall in love with. 

Eren started to jog back to the tower, drying off in the sun. 

***

It wasn’t until late afternoon that Eren saw Levi come into view in the distance. He’d been scanning the horizon every few minutes for the past hour. Levi was riding Wind at a gentle pace. Eren had been chopping firewood, managing to get sweaty again in the process but he hoped this would be forgiven.

Levi eventually made it to the Tower and dismounted Wind. Eren gave him a nod and shuffled nervously. Levi nodded back.

“Hello."

“Hi.”

God. So awkward. 

Eren had spent years with Levi as his Captain, but he realised this was the first time since they’d mated that things were calm enough for them to properly talk. What was he going to say to him?

“You’ve been busy” Levi said, pointing to the carcass.

“Uh yeah, it’s been no trouble. Where did you go?”

“There is an abandoned village nearby. I got some fruit from one of its old orchards. I also found some other items we can use.” Levi said as he unpacked the saddle bag from Wind.

“Great.”

“I’ll put these away. Do you want to help make dinner?”

“Sure.”

Eren followed Levi inside. Jesus, his scent, it was just a gift that kept giving. It had changed through the course of the day. In the morning it had been a deep mixture of his own scent after their sleeping positions last night, which satisfied his Alpha to no end. Now his scent had mostly evaporated, leaving Levi’s pure scent to intoxicate him. He stifled a growl from his Alpha at the thought that his unbonded Omega was no longer plainly marked as his own. Even if there were no other Alphas for miles around, he couldn’t shake the desire spilling out of him. Nor was his own scent now mixed and he wanted to feel Levi’s scent on his own skin again.

“Levi, can I … can we scent each other?”

Levi froze. He turned to look at Eren with a scowl.

“It just, it will help me think straight.”

“Tch.”

Levi picked up a cloth from the heath and wiped it over his wrists and neck. The oil lacing the material as his gland responded. Levi threw it at Eren who caught it and quickly placed it against his own glands, relief filled him. Eren held out the cloth, offering it back to Levi. 

The Omega looked at the cloth as if Eren had just pulled it out of the communal trash bin at the Base.

“Oh, sorry,” Eren started to withdraw his hand.

“No, give me that.” Levi snatched the cloth from him and turned away from Eren. 

Eren’s heart soared as he saw the Omega gently press the cloth to his own neck.

“Start the fire, brat.”

Eren smiled to himself as he went to retrieve the fire wood from outside. 

They started to prepare dinner only saying the odd word to one another. It was such a little thing, but knowing Levi carried his scent had boosted the Alpha’s mood enormously. He knew Levi was trying to suppress it, but Eren could tell the Omega was also more relaxed.

Eren placed a pan on top of the fire and watched as the flames warmed the metal. He had cut two steaks for them and they were sizzling before him. He’d coated them with some of the herbs he’d found.

Levi had found a few odds and ends at the village, including two plates, but they had no cutlery. The Omega had been trying to clean the dust from the room earlier without much effect given there was no broom or mop. Now Levi was perched on the doorway looking out into the early evening sky.

“It’s quite warm tonight, should we eat outside?” Eren suggested.

“Sure. We can eat on the rooftop if you want?”

“There is a rooftop?!”

“There is.”

“Let’s check it out!”

Eren carefully removed the pan from the heat and plated up the steaks. Levi had started walking up the stairs and Eren carefully followed him. The stairway led up to a hatch that Levi opened letting in the night air. The sky was lit with the dying light of the sun that had just crossed the horizon. Levi perched on the ballustrade and Eren sat next to him, handing him a plate.

Levi bit down on the meat. Eren almost died with joy when he heard the Omega let out the softest, the most involuntary, of moans.

“Is it good?”

“It’s good.”

Eren wasn’t sure if he’d ever felt as satisfied as watching Levi eat his food. He bit into his own meal and enjoyed the nourishment.

“This isn’t very dignified is it?” Levi said, indicating to their hands holding the meat. “I need to make some utensils.”

“I can help.”

“Thanks.”

They ate quietly for the rest of the meal. It felt so good to have a full stomach again. He’d eaten a couple of apples earlier when Levi had returned, but only now was his hunger satisfied.

Eren watched Levi’s face. He was looking out across the valley below them. Eren was amazed at how still Levi could sit when he wanted to, like a statue. Eren would hate to see Levi and Mikasa ever enter a staring competition, it would never end, hell would freeze over first.

“Levi?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you … happy that I’m here?”

Levi let some time pass.

“I am.”

Eren smiled.

“Can I … hug you?”

“No.”

“Aww.”

Eren turned to look out over the valley too. He had a slight blush. He had asked the question in joking manner, but he felt the rejection nonetheless.

After a few seconds Levi let out an irritated sigh. The Omega unfurled his arm and flung his hand down so that his open palm was next to Eren.

Eren looked at it confused for a moment, before realising what the gesture meant. Eren broke out into a smile as he took the hand in his own.

It was not a lot, but it was a start. It was something Eren could work with.

***


	13. Respite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The more stressful the final season becomes the more fluff I need to write to ease my anxiety :o.

_“If it be your will, that a voice be true_

_From this broken hill, I will sing to you_

_From this broken hill_

_All your praises they shall ring_

_If it be your will, to let me sing”_

(If It Be Your Will - L. Cohen)

Fuck. Fuck. Shit. Fuck.

Levi’s skin felt like it was about to rip right off of his body.The day had been a major challenge in self-discipline and it showed no signs of reprieve.

Why was he so?So?Horny?

His internal monologue had increased its pace by tenfold over the course of the day and it had become obsessed in analysing Eren’s.every.move.and.word.

Levi had to purposefully tense his jaw to avoid breaking out into a smile whenever the Alpha even looked at him.

It was as if Levi was being followed around by a little group of cherubs cooing Eren’s praises in his ear at every moment – _ooh he’s so tall_... _ooh he caught us dinner that’s so romantic … ahh is this his scent? let’s get more of that._ They were so insufferable the only way Levi was coping was by picturing capturing them one by one and ripping their little angels wings off with sadistic glee.

The morning had been bad enough, but in the afternoon he’d been overcome by his instincts once Eren had presented him with the scented cloth – he couldn’t stop himself pressing it to his own glands and smiling as relief flooded over him.The stress and anxiety that had built up over the day just drifted away. 

The small room had soon filled with the mix of their scents and Levi prayed Eren couldn’t pick up on his own obvious arousal. Levi was worried he was going to produce slick at any moment - could that even happen when he wasn't in heat?

Now they were on the rooftop Levi finally was enjoying some fresh air and trying to clear his head. 

His hand was still placed in Eren’s, whose hand engulfed Levi’s own. He felt Eren’s thumb slowly draw small circles against the base of Levi’s palm.

_His hand is so warm and … big._

“Levi?”

“Yes?”

“I asked if you were feeling tired?”

_Keep it together!_

“Oh, a bit I guess.”

Eren smiled at him and shuffled along the ledge closer to Levi.

_He cares about us…_

“You can lean on my shoulder if you want?”

“I’m fine.”

_Lean on that fucking shoulder!_

What was Levi meant to do next?What was the point in being bashful around Even anymore?They’d already had sex, although Levi’s memories of it were gratefully hazy, but it’s not like Eren hadn’t already seen all of him. 

“Eren?”

“Hmm?”

“What do you want … with me?”

The Alpha's breath hitched.

“Ah… I don’t know… I just…I want you Levi.To date you.”There was a long pause.“Would you, ah, be ok with that?

“I don’t know….”

Eren’s hand squeezed his own gently.

“It’s so weird Eren.Not you.Me.I’m mean well, I'm pretty, well, I think my mind is pretty fucked up.”

“I know,” Eren said.The Alpha laughed a little, perhaps trying to break to the awkwardness.

“You do know,” Levi said softly, “that’s nice I guess.”

“I’ve got my own issues too.”

“Hmm. But why?Why do you want to date someone like…. Why didn’t you pick one of those nice Omega girls on base?”

Eren’s jaw dropped a fraction. The last of the day's light was fading.

“I wish I could show you one day.What I see.When I look at you.”

Levi turned his face away.

“We don’t have to rush it Levi, I guess time has a different sort of meaning out here.Just, let me show you what it could be like?”

Clouds were crossing the skies above their heads.

“It’s embarrassing,” Levi said.

“Why is it embarrassing?”

“You know why.”

The wind rustled through the branches of the old conifer pine that had grown up next to the tower.

“It’s just us now Levi.”

“I don’t understand everything that’s happening to me,” Levi said removing his hand from Eren’s and dropping his head down into his hands.

Levi had never received any of the sexual education that Omegas would normally receive.Of course he wasn’t an idiot and had managed to learn the fundamentals through eavesdropping on conversations and some pamphlets he’d found in the library.However, he’d never heard it from an Omega’s point of view and his own biology still somewhat mysterious to himself.

“Let’s just take it slow while we both figure it out, OK? It’s not…. It’s not going to be all bad Levi.I mean… You might actually enjoy some of it.”

Levi gave Eren a suspicious look.

“So… you want to date me then.”

“I do.”

“I think you will struggle to come up with date ideas out here.”

“oh, I’ve got a few already don’t worry about that,” Eren said with a smirk.

“This doesn’t mean I’ll sleep with you.”

“Not yet.”

“And I’m not bonding you.”

“Not today.It’s just dating Levi.

“Ok.We can.Date.”

Eren beamed at him.

“You know what that means?”Eren asked.

“What?”

The Alpha reached forward and embraced him, pulling Levi against his chest.

“I get to hug you whenever I want.”

“Oh no, that’s not part of the deal.” Levi tried to protest, whilst his inner Omega was doing cartwheels.

“It’s definitely part of the deal Levi.”

Levi finally relented and allowed himself to relax into the hug.He let go of the stiffness in his body and leant against the Alpha.Levi pressed his nose into Eren’s neck and let himself smile.

“And you know what else is included?” Eren asked.

“Hmm?”

The Alpha ran his fingers through Levi’s hair and gently pulled him back so that their eyes met. 

“This.”Eren leant down and their lips met.Levi let go and allowed himself to return the kiss. 

The world fell away behind them.

***

An hour later they retreated down from the roof top. 

Levi was honestly surprised that his self-restraint had permitted this given the overwhelming urge to just get naked and go at it.However, he’d manage to pull away from the kiss after some time and they’d just enjoyed the evening until a cooler wind had drawn in.

Now that they were indoors Levi realised their next practical challenge were sleeping arrangements.They both stood looking at the single sleeping mat that lay in the corner.

“Ah you take the mat Levi, I’ll be ok on the floor”

“Don’t be an idiot, you’ll freeze.”It was cold enough on the mat, but sitting on the stone flooring was awful in the middle of the night.

“We are adults we can share.”

“OK!” Eren said breaking out into another smile.

“I’m sleeping with my knife in case you think you can cuddle me during the night.”

“No promises.”

Eren removed his shoes and trousers leaving on his underwear.He then peeled off his undershirt.When he lifted his arms Levi glanced at the Alpha’s torso.He had slimmed down over the past month, but he was now incredibly cut - the fine lines of each muscle accentuated by his movements.The light glow of the fire reflecting on his tan skin.

_This is trouble._

Eren finished removing his shirt and caught Levi’s eyes before he flicked them away and busied himself removing his own shoes.The Alpha smirked having caught Levi checking him out.

Levi steadied himself as he unlaced his shoe.Why was he nervous?This was the first time he’d properly chosen to share a bed with an Alpha.He could easily have told Eren to fuck off and find another abandoned tower to live in, but he hadn’t.

They weren’t going to have sex.They were just going to sleep together.Like friends would.Well not that Levi would ever let any of his ‘friends’ sleep in his bed, but he imagined some friends would.It was going to be like that.

“Do you need a hand?”

“No.I’m fine.”

“You’re taking a long time to unlace that boot.”

“Tch.”

Levi looked at the Alpha, who was now seated on the mat, with his lower half covered by the blanket.Eren looked at him expectantly.

“Turn around.”

“Aww.C’mon Levi.”

“Do it.”

Eren humph’d and turned away to face the wall.Levi stood up and removed his own shirt and trousers.Levi slowly approached the mat. His heart pounded as if he was about to wade into water.

Levi sat down next to Eren, who turned his head on its side and tried to peer up at the Omega.The mat was just wide enough to fit them both on it, leaving about an inch either side.

“You face that way when you sleep.” Levi said shimmying down and turning on his side so that they were back to back.

“What if I get tired of sleeping on this side.”

“I have the knife.”

The Alpha sniggered.

“Goodnight Eren.”

“Goodnight Levi.”

***


	14. Meanwhile ...

_"I could not move to warn all the younger soldiers  
That they had been deserted from above  
So on battlefields from here to Barcelona  
I'm listed with the enemies of love"_

(L. Cohen - The traitor)

_November 852_

_Central Government Headquarters, Sina_

“Is this report true?”

“Two of our informers had confirmed the report Sir.”

“Well Zackly, guess Erwin has lost his touch.”

“He has lost more than that.His best solider and their only shifter.Still better he is running around outside the walls than within.”

“Perhaps it’s time to turn the screws on the Scouts?”

“They seem to be falling apart of their own volition, I always knew it was a game of attrition with those arrogant pricks.”

“Still… might be worth strengthening Dok’s force with some of their numbers rather than losing any more as titan feed.You know what’s coming.I want as many bodies between Rose and Sina as we can muster.”

“Well you have a point there. Is there any word on our friends from across the sea?”

“They seem to be even less competent than Erwin, they’re still maintaining their cover in the Scouts group, god know why at this point.If they were going to make a move I think the horse has well and truly bolted at this point.”

“I don’t like it to be honest.I think we should take them out in their sleep.”

“No, we need to hold our cards very close to our chests on this one.We will not blink.Let them think we are weak, let them think we’ve grown old at fat in Sina.”

“We have grown old and fat”

“Speak for yourselves.”

Raucous laughter rang out from around the table.

“In any event, we’ve been planning our little welcoming party for the Marley army for over one hundred years now, they are well past being fashionably late at this point, but when they do decide to finally grace us with their presence, the day of which I suspect is finally drawing near, we are going to make sure it is a party they will never forget.”

The other men at the table broke out in cheers.After some time silence fell.

“Interesting about the other one in that report though.”

“The other one?”

“The Omega.”

“Yes.Yes I suppose that is quite interesting.A bit uncanny the timing. One hundred years?”

“His birth sign aligns with exactly.”

“We won’t know for sure until the time comes.Oh well, let’s be ready to swerve one way or the other no matter which way the penny drops.”

***

_The Barracks C Block, Scout’s base_

“Reiner, we can’t wait any longer for orders from home.We need to make a move.Either we chase Eren or we make the assault on Rose.I’m done waiting,” Annie sighed.

“You can’t decide that Annie.If we go after Eren we will be out of contact for who knows how long.If we make an assault on Rose and the War chief is not ready, then we are doomed to fail,” Reiner said.

“I’m with Reiner, Annie.As long we remain here we can still intercept their intel and our chief can still reach us,” Bertholdt said.

***

_The library, Scout’s HQ_

“Armin, you should get some rest.”

“Thanks Hange, but I want to plot out our next route before Mikasa and I leave tomorrow.”

“I hope you have some luck next time.It’s getting colder out there.”

“We will.We are getting closer.We’ve traced Eren’s tracks all the way past the river crossing, but he seems to have spent days or weeks going in circles in the forest, and we can’t spend that amount of time following them.”

“I’m so worried about him, Armin.I’ll never forgive myself if he has died.I’d go with you, but since the military police escort turned up last week I think I need to keep an eye on things here.”

“He’ll forgive you Hange.They’re both alive, I know it.I said to Mikasa we should give them time to come back to us, but she’s adamant that we track Eren down.”

“Thank you Armin… We’re counting on you.”

***

_Erwin’s office, Scouts HQ_

Erwin sat staring at the map in front of him.The sight of a map always calmed him when he felt lost, and there had been fewer times in his life where he had felt as lost as he did now.He cursed himself for the thousandth time for his actions that had led to where they were now. 

With Eren gone the Scouts had returned to trying to establish the new southern outpost and supply route but the mission lacked any real inspiration and he wondered whether to abandon it entirely.

To add to his woes some of Dok’s cronies had shown up last week for a “cross-unit team-building exercise.”Eren loosened his collar. Despite the action, he felt the noose tightening.

He wished he could rewind to before his time as commander.If only he could get on a horse with Mikasa and Armin tomorrow and leave this all behind, as Levi had done.Not that Levi would want to see him.

He sighed up and stared at the ceiling.He would have to atone for his sins, but how?

***

_Across the sea._

“So this intelligence report suggests the Scout's lost control of their shifter?”

“This could be our best chance to attack.I suggest we give the signal to our Warriors immediately.”

“We should get our ships in position first!”

“That is a waste of time, the Warriors will be able to finish them off from the inside.”

“You’re a dumber bastard than you look if you think we’re capturing an island without a naval force.”

“And you’re dreaming if you think this opportunity is just going to remain open forever!”

“Enough!”

The officer’s around the table fell silent.

An old man in the corner was looking out the window with his back to the room.

“I want you to read the report aloud to me again.”

“Yes sir.”

Zeke started reading aloud the report from where it detailed how Eren Jaeger had turned hostile against the Scouts and engaged in a battle on their base.

“Not that part.”

“Sir?”

“The bit at the beginning.”

Zeke reverted to the initial opening of the report.

“There was a commotion caused at the hall when it was revealed that one of the scouts — a Captain Levi Ackerman —was an Omega who had been hiding his gender…Sir I know its unusual but I think you’re missing the—”

“You think I'm missing the point?”

There was silence.

“I have fought many Alpha shifters in my life and defeated each of them.”

Zeke studied the man’s back in the corner.

“My father fought them and his father before him did so.I imagine my son will do so too.I know Alpha shifters and I am not afraid of them.”

The silence continued.

“This is the same Captain Levi that previous reports have indicated was the only real threat to our Warriors.And now we learn that he is an Omega.That is most unusual.That is something of which I have never encountered in my entire military career.”

The officers quietened immediately.

“I have never fought an Omega.”

“Well sir I think it will be over pretty quick,” one of the officers said with a crude chuckle.

The old man ignored him.

“My father never fought an Omega.”

Zeke’s forehead crinkled.

“My grandfather never fought an Omega.”

“In fact, I know of only one Omega that has ever waged war.And that was so long ago that she has transcended into myth.”

The officer’s leaned in.

“And the thought that we may now have to fight another.”

The old man eyes were on the horizon.The officers could not seek the glassy nature they had taken on.

“Well, that does make me afraid.”

Zeke cleared his throat.

“Sorry sir, I’m afraid I don’t know who you are talking about.”

“But you are very familiar with her, Zeke.”

“I am?”

“She is the reason I am here today, she is the reason you are here today, she is the reason for the extraordinary power you now possess.”

“Sir you don’t mean to suggest?”

“I do.”

The silence stretched on as the blasphemy washed over them.

***


	15. Peel another layer

_"If you want a lover  
I'll do anything you ask me to  
And if you want another kind of love  
I'll wear a mask for you  
If you want a partner, take my hand, or  
If you want to strike me down in anger  
Here I stand  
I'm your man"_

(I'm your man - L. Cohen)

_The woods beneath the Watchtower_

“This one?”

“Poisonous”

“That one?”

“Poisonous”

“This one?”

“Poisonous”

“Oh c’mon! Are you kidding me?”

“Just on the last one.” Eren said bursting out laughing.To his delight Levi joined him.Eren would never get sick of hearing that sound from the Omega - the small burst on unadulterated joy that Levi shared with him.Eren’s had made it a personal goal to ensure it was a daily occurrence and so far, to his surprise, he was succeeding.

“You have to take this seriously Eren or I’m going to kill us one day with soup.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry.Here look at the growth on underside of the leaves.These ones are striated, that’s good.You want to avoid the ones without.

“I wish I could sketch these so I could remember easier.”

“You’ll get there.”

Levi gathered some of the fruits from the tree in front of them.Levi had spent so long training Eren and then leading them on duty that it was odd for the Alpha to suddenly find himself in the role of teacher.This was their third trip together gathering food in the woods and they were focussing on identifying flowering trees with edible fruits today. 

As Levi rejoined his side Eren took Levi’s hand in his own.Eren saw the movement in the Omega’s shoulders as they momentarily tensed, but he held the hand firmly and the shoulders dropped after a few seconds.Sometimes it felt like dating Levi was like a science experiment — constantly testing temperatures, assessing the weight of something, considering the reaction of a new mixture — but Eren reminded himself that the best course was to play it by instinct.It was new ground for both of them and they would find their way together.

“What were you like as a kid?”

Eren smiled.Levi was slowly getting more comfortable asking Eren personal questions.Their quiet silences slowly being filled with conversation.

“A nightmare, I think.I ate way too much but never touched my vegetables.I couldn’t finish my chores in time without Mikasa’s help. I was constantly getting into fights.”

“So not much has changed then?”

“I grew taller.”

“You should have diverted some of that energy into mental development too.”

“Hey!”

Levi chuckled as Eren pulled the Omega’s body back against him.Eren snaked his arms up in between Levi’s and wrapped them around his chest.He dug his nose between the black hair and breathed in the scent.Eren was learning its nuances with each day they spent together.Could pick up when Levi would start to feel stressed, when the stress was relieved, when he was happy, and most enjoyably, when Levi was turned on.They hadn’t done anything more than kiss since the rooftop, but Eren was going to do this at a pace that Levi was comfortable with.The Alpha pressed his lips to the scalp before him in a chaste kiss. 

Levi pulled away from the embrace and kept walking ahead.Levi’s dating style had unsurprisingly turned out to be to play ‘hard-to-get’, which left Eren in a perpetual state of arousal.He was slightly concerned at the frequency of his erections and at this point had just stopped caring if Levi noticed them.

“Did you two ever fight?”

“Who?”

“You and Mikasa.”

“Oh not seriously.It was great once she moved in actually.My mum and dad adored her and she helped me collect firewood.She was an old soul even as a child.I can’t ever remember her crying or yelling. ”

“Do you miss her?”

“Every day.” 

Levi halted in front of Eren.

“I’m sorry, Eren.”

“Don’t be.I know I’ll see her again.Anyway we’ve been pretty much side by side for the past thirteen years, it’s probably good for both of us to have some time apart.”

“Hmm.She must miss you.”

The woods had thinned quite a bit and they entered a clearing with one of the many streams that flowed down from the mountains.

“Should we take a break?”Eren asked.

“Sure.”

They sat down on one of the large rocks perched on the bank of the stream.Eren gazed at Levi’s profile.He had it committed to memory, but every time he looked at him it was as if he’d previously forgotten how beautiful he was.The fine nose, the soft lips, the high cheek bones, the pointed chin, the strong jaw.Levi’s usual complexion now tanned after spending so much time outdoors.He was still too gaunt — Eren needed more time to tend to that, despite Levi’s protests that Eren wanted to fatten him up. 

In the moments when he could just simply look at Levi, Eren realised that the hardest thing about living beyond the walls was that Eren had no one to brag to about the fact that he was now dating Levi — he wanted to shout it from the tree tops that he, Eren Jeager, was dating the Levi Ackerman.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Levi scowled.

“Like what?”

“You know like what.”

“Like you’re hot?”Eren raised his eyebrows suggestively. 

Levi threw a small rock at Eren, which he narrowly avoided.No amount of rocks thrown at him would deter Eren from proving to Levi that he deserved his affection.

“What was your childhood like?Are there any good memories?” Eren asked softly.

“No.”

Eren closed his eyes and stilled his breath.What would he give to go back in time and rescue Levi from that hell?

“That’s not true actually.I had two friends there.We used to cause a bit of mayhem for the local authorities.That was always fun.”

“What were their names?”

“Isabel.And Farlan.I remember once we stole a whole bag of oranges and gave them out at the brothel.It was the first time any of us had ever tasted one.I remember my mother’s dancing with me after she ate one.”

Eren placed his hand on Levi’s knee.Each of these stories added a layer of detail to the soul he had become entranced by.Each one was to be protected and stored away in his mind. 

“She would be so proud of you now.”

“Hmph.”Levi looked away, his face turning ashen. 

Eren gave his knee a gentle squeeze before releasing his hand. _Just go slow.One by one, replace those bad memories with good ones._ Eren would be lying if he hadn’t been slightly disappointed that their first sober kiss hadn’t led to more … energetic displays of affection, but any disappointment was drowned out by the gratitude to be able to spend his days now coaxing Levi out little by little.Every smile, every slight touch a little gift of its own. 

The stream’s waters rushed by beneath them.Levi looked over at Eren’s wrists.The Omega had been studying them all morning.

“Do you mind?” Levi asked, lifting his own.Eren smiled.

“Can’t get enough?”

“Maybe I’ll chop one off to keep,”Levi said with a straight face.Eren barked out laughing.

“Whenever you want Levi, you don’t have to ask me.” Eren said, taking his wrist and rubbing it over the Omega’s scent gland.Joy surged through him as the Omega’s eyes flickered closed.

Eren saw a small tortoise had emerged from the stream and started sunbathing on the rocks.He was grateful that it was an unseasonably warm autumn this year.Who knows what they would do out here during winter.

“What do you remember of your parents?”Levi asked.

“My mother’s hugs.Her laugh.Her long hair.The smell of her hands.Her sense of justice. How angry she could get when I missed curfew.”

“I would have liked to see that.”

Eren looked down at his fingers that were picking dirt off his trousers.

“What about your dad?”

“My dad was an interesting guy, I think.From what I recall I mean.He did so much for the town.People would tell me endlessly how he was such a good man.And he was to us too.He would play with me when he wasn’t working, which wasn’t very often.But, I think now he seemed a bit…”

“What?”

“Lonely?I don’t know.It was like he was burdened by something he could never share with anyone.He was always working in his basement which he—Jesus,”Eren had suddenly grabbed at his chest.

“What’s wrong?”

“My key…. I just realised I’ve lost it.After I carried it around for all these years.”

“When did you last have it?”

“I guess back at base.I can’t recall if I was wearing it that night when I left or not.”

“Are you upset about it?”

Eren looked over at Levi.

“Well I think I would have been a couple of months ago, but now it’s ok.I’ve found something new to occupy me.”

Levi rolled his eyes.

“Will you ever learn to take a compliment?”Eren asked.

“I don’t know, I guess you’ll find out.” Levi said sticking out his tongue and smiling.“C’mon, break’s over.Time to finish your lesson on how to avoid fruits that will kill me.”

***

It was mid-afternoon by the time the arrived back at the tower.

Levi scowled at himself.They’d walked back through the woods in single file and all the way there he had debated whether or not he should reach out to grab Eren’s hand in his own.To return the Alpha’s action from this morning.To show that he was equally committed to this enterprise.By the time the tower appeared in the distance Levi could have written a treatise on the pros and cons of holding Eren's hand.

Why couldn’t he just do it, just reach out and take ahold of it?Was this ever going to get easier or was he just emotionally deficient?Doomed to absorb affection and give nothing in return? Would he swallow up all of Eren’s admiration day after day until he left the Alpha drained and depleted? He liked Eren!He was attracted to Eren!They were dating!He could hold his fucking hand! But every time he went to grab it he would pull back at the last second with a flinch.

Would it look desperate?Would Eren finally realise how ugly and pathetic and short and difficult Levi really was?Would he cast him aside and flee into the arms of one of the beautiful and deserving and obedient Omegas back at base?

“ARRGH!”

Eren jumped and swivelled around to face Levi.

“What’s wrong.”

Levi’s cheeks were flushed and his eyes were furious.He looked like he’d been stabbed and was barely controlling the pain.

_I can do it. I can do it and more._

Levi walked up to Eren and grabbed his hand, hard.The Alpha looked puzzled.The Omega stared up at his eyes angrily.He cupped the back of his neck, lifted himself up on his tippy toes and pulled the taller man down to him, smashing their lips together.Eren let up a muffled squeak in surprise.Levi’s lips parted and took Eren’s lower lip in his own.He pressed against the Alpha, letting his scent fill the air between them.Letting Eren in.The Alpha felt high.Levi’s tongue reached out and caressed Eren’s lip.The Alpha moaned, his arms falling down, embracing Levi and bringing the Omega’s body close against his own.

And as soon as it had started it was over.Levi closed his lips and pulled back.He pushed Eren away.

“There I did it.I kissed you," Levi said, looking at Eren expectantly - as if the Alpha had been the one to doubt whether Levi could do it.

“You did.”Eren said, breathless.

Levi gave a ‘tch’ and pushed past him heading into the tower.

“Don’t forget to take your shoes off before you come in.” Levi called out in his wake.

Eren just laughed.

***


	16. You said it first

_There's a lover in the story_

_But the story's still the same_

_There's a lullaby for suffering_

_And a paradox to blame_

_But it's written in the scriptures_

_And it's not some idol claim_

_You want it darker_

_We killed the flame_

(You want it darker - L. Cohen)

_December 852_

_The river beneath the Watchtower_

Eren watched water cascade down Levi’s back as the Omega lifted himself out of the water.Rivets of liquid traced the muscles and glinted in the midday sun.Levi had finally agreed that they could bathe at the same time, much to Eren’s delight.Although the freezing temperatures dampened the opportunity for romance somewhat.They also caused some unfortunate shrinkage.

Eren gazed at Levi’s fine neck, the slight bump of the scent gland rising beneath.How would it look once the neck bore his bonding mark?The idea alone filled him with want and need.

“Stop staring at my back Alpha and wash yourself.”

“Why don’t you do it for me?”

Levi turned side on and peered at him.

“What did you just say?”

Eren blushed.“Nothing.Nevermind.”

Levi waded through the water towards him.

“I thought I heard you order me to wash you.”Levi was holding a course brush he’d fashioned out a lump of wood and pine needles, which he’d coated in a mix of nut oil and herbs that Eren had found for him.It was prickly.

“No!It wasn’t an order!I’m fine.”

“Oh, but now I look at you I see just how dirty you’ve gotten Alpha.Here why don’t you let me —“

“No!”

Eren jumped back, but Levi was quicker and had already wrapped himself around Eren’s body.The Omega started furiously rubbing the scrubbing brush on Eren’s back, soaping him up.The Alpha howled out as Levi clung to him whilst Eren dunked them both in the river.Every time he tried to loosen Levi’s grip the Omega would shift positions and start scrubbing a new spot. 

Eventually Eren had to admit defeat as he let Levi scrub him pretty much raw all over.

Levi had been bashful about them bathing together at first, but he now realised that it presented the opportunity to combine two things he enjoyed very much: cleaning and Eren.

Once Levi was finally done he let Eren go and the two moved up to dry off in the sun on the rocks.It was chilly but the bright sun had warmed the rocks, making it just bearable.

They lay down and enjoyed the brief warmth of the rays.Eren interlaced their fingers and brought an arm over his eyes to shield them from the bright light.He would never get sick of these quiet days. 

They had next to nothing besides one another.But that was more than enough.

***

_The outskirts by the Scouts HQ_

Armin was downcast.Another failed expedition to find Eren and Levi.Not just that, but he’d fought with Mikasa and was now alone.They’d planned to spend four days on the hunt this time, but on the fourth day Mikasa had told Armin she was going to continue looking on the outer edges of the forest.Nothing Armin said could cause her to waiver and he was exasperated by the risk she was taking and her stubbornness in pursuing it.After heated debate he’d agreed to let her continue the search whilst he would return to base.

He was almost back at base now.And he was glad that he’d manage to avoid titans on the return trip.His eyes were looking at the ground when suddenly he saw a bright reflection catch his eye.

“Slow down girl.”He stilled his horse and jumped down to examine it.

Armin crouched down and peered at the object.It was a key, now half buried in the soil.He picked it up to examine it.A busted leather cord was tied to it.

“Eren.”

***

_Later that evening_

_Outdoor training grounds, Scouts HQ_

Reiner, Annie and Bertholdt crouched around the long-wave radio that was emitting soft beeps in morse code.

Annie was scrawling down the message.Reiner and Bertholdt looked at her apprehensively.

“Time is 11 o’clock.Invite Jaeger and Omega.The payload has left home. ”

The three exchanged surprised looks.The time had come.

***

_Erwin’s office_

“And you’re sure this is his key?” Erwin asked.

“I’m sure.He’s worn it since childhood,”Armin responded.

“What do you think Hange?It’s better than a supply route to nowhere.” Erwin said.

“I think it’s our least worst option,” Hange said.“I don’t feel safe here anymore.Dok is looking for any excuse to imprison you and take you to the capital for treason.If you are going to inspire any of these soldiers to follow you into another fight, we are going to need to understand what they’re fighting for.”

“It’s possible his father was just a lunatic, the basement could be filled with conspiracy theories.”

“Eren’s dad was a hero in our home town.You’re right it’s possible.But I can’t reconcile that with the man I knew.”

“Ok.Let’s get a small team together and go as soon as possible.We can reach Shinanshiga in two days’ ride if we’re lucky.

***

_The forest between the Watchtower and the Scout's HQ_

Mikasa was weighing up whether to make camp for the night, or to press on for another hour or two.Her body was tired, but that was not unusual, and she could cover plenty of ground yet.

She regretted arguing with Armin, being surprised at how much she now missed his company. But she was used to being alone, even when surrounded by others.If only she could express herself in the carefree way Eren did, or have the untapped quantities of joy that Armin shared with the world.Instead, hers was a lonelier path in life.

She often wondered about how things might have turned out if she and Eren were not both Alphas.When she was younger it had been a great disappointment, but as time went by she thought those romantic feelings had been replaced by solely familial ones.However, nothing had prepared her for the shock when she’d realised that Eren and Levi had mated, nor the surge of extreme hatred and jealously she had immediately felt towards the Captain.Apart from height and gender they were virtually identical, it was a long running joke on base that they were secretly related.But he had bested her at the finish line.She’d scolded herself for the immature jealousy she felt but it was hard to get over.

Now she’d lost Eren and god knows where he was.All she knew is she had to make sure he was safe.And so here she was, alone in the fucking woods again, living off biscuits and the odd prey she’d catch from time to time.

Sighing, she decided it was better to make camp when, to her surprise, she heard something unbelievable — human voices.

Mikasa froze.Were they scouts?Had Erwin sent out a party to look for her?That seemed unlikely.

Pulling up against a tree, she stopped and listened.They were still quite far off.Slipping silently through the woods she neared the voices, and eventually saw the glow of a fire.

“Hey Kenny how much more we gotta put up with this, I hate the fucking woods.”

“Well if you keep complaining I’ll shoot your dumb ass in your sleep and then you won’t need to spend another day here jackass.”

Mikasa crouched down behind some nearby rocks.They definitely weren’t scouts.There appeared to be 12 or so men and women seated around a fire.

“You sure they gonna pay for this though, those assholes in Sina are crazy to spend that much getting us to capture some stupid Omega anyway — I’d get em 10 for that price from the underground in a single afternoon/”

“Shut your trap, this isn’t any stupid Omega we are hunting.”

Mikasa continued to listen.Her eyes growing wide as the gang discussed their task as hand.

***

_The watchtower_

Levi looked up as Eren heaved the firewood into the room and carefully stacked it up besides the fireplace.He was covered in sweat from an afternoon of hunting first and then chopping wood.The fire was an essential now for the cold nights and Eren wanted to ensure they had more than enough to get through the winter. 

The afternoon’s exertions had undone all of Levi’s hard work at the river that morning, but looking at Eren’s straining muscles and the efforts of his labours quelled any annoyance.

Levi put down the knife next to the mix of vegetables that he’d cut up for their dinner and wiped his hands on a cloth.

He walked up to Eren.The Alpha looked worn out - he was pushing himself hard with his preparations for winter and establishing a home for them here.If he wasn’t hunting, he was chopping firewood, exploring abandoned towns to find useful junk, or making some basic furniture, or collecting salt, or doing one of an endless list of things the ensure that Levi was safe and provided for.

“Eren, sit.”

“I need to just —“

“Sit.”

Eren sat down on one of the simple wooden chairs he’d put together last week.

Levi gathered a pail of water, a wash cloth and some oils.He added some water from the kettle to the pail and placed it down beside the Alpha. Gently Levi pulled up Eren’s shirt and let the Alpha relax back on the chair.Kneeling beside him Levi dunked the cloth in the pail, wrung it out and brought it up to Eren’s chest, to slowly wipe away the sweat and the grime of his labours.

If you rewound the clock a few months, Levi would never believe he would be here, in such a subservient position, washing the body of an Alpha as he crouched beside him.But he’d never have thought he’d meet an Alpha like Eren who could build up such trust between them so quickly, so much so that every day Levi felt more comfortable opening himself up to him, in the knowledge that Eren wouldn’t abuse his position.To the contrary, with every small gesture Levi made it seemed Eren would return it twofold.

Levi was starting to realise how much easier the burdens of life were when you could share them with a partner.How much better food tasted when cooked for two.How much quicker a garden could be harvested.And how much more comforting it was to feel a partner's hand to wash your skin, than to do it oneself.

Eren’s eyes were closed, his mouth in an easy smile, whilst his left hand was gently running circles on the back of Levi’s neck.

Once he was satisfied, Levi shook the Alpha to open his eyes and pointed to their bed.Eren had built a small wooden base for the sleeping mat to sit on so they were further from the ground, and the cold, at night.

“Lie down.”

“Levi, what are you—"

“Shhh.”

Eren lay down on the mat. Levi picked up a bottle of oil and removed the stopper. He let a trail of drops fall on the Alpha’s chest.He crouched by Eren’s side and slowly spread the oil out with his hands.His right hand coasted over the thick chest muscles while the left ran down between Eren’s abdominals.The Alpha had regained most of his previous mass after a few weeks of feasting every night.Levi would often find his eyes drawn to the power of his figure when they were hunting together, seeing the muscles ripple beneath the taut skin.

The Alpha let out a groan as Levi’s hand pressed deep into his flesh.The Omega’s grip strength could be brutal, but he worked the muscles delicately now.

Levi’s mouth was dry with nervous anticipation.Levi had been building up the nerve to instigate the next level of physical intimacy with Eren, knowing that the Alpha was waiting on Levi to tell him when we was ready.

The first kiss had given way to a plentitude more and Levi now felt comfortable with reaching up to the Alpha’s lips throughout the day.Each time being rewarded with Eren breaking out into a smile.

He’d then tried to supplement the kisses with more touching and scent marking, but whenever it came to the point beyond that … Levi would find himself start to freeze up with fear.

Sometimes he couldn’t believe that the two of them had already actually had sex.It was still a strange and foreign concept to him. As if Levi had read about it in a book or had been told the story of it, rather than actually experiencing it first hand.

However, Levi was now determined to overcome his discomfort and to explore all of Eren.And he definitely wanted to do it before his next heat — whenever that would come.

It was not that Levi was overly fearful about what would happen during the heat — it was just that he wanted to be fully mentally present the next time they had sex — to remember every detail, every feeling, no matter how good or bad, without the overwhelming influence of his hormones.

Eren let out a groan as Levi’s fingers worked out a knot in his shoulder.Subtly manipulating the flesh to find the corded muscle then powerfully working to relieve the tension.Levi slowly shifted his position so that first he was kneeling beside the Alpha, then he was soon straddling him, sitting in his lap as he massaged Eren’s muscles beneath him.

After living together for a while Levi had now grown used Eren’s scent surrounding him.Like an invisible blanket on a snowy night.But now he was kneading his body he was hit by its potency.Thick enough to taste.He found himself shoot hard in his trousers, and he could feel Eren was in a similar condition beneath him.

Eren’s eyes flicked open and drew wide as he saw Levi move over him, before he broke out in a grin. 

“Don’t look too pleased with yourself Alpha.”Levi said as his hands moved down to the side of Eren’s pec and dug into the muscle causing the larger man to flinch.

“No tickling!”

Levi just smirked and resumed the massage.Intermittently stopping to place some more oil on Eren’s torso.

Levi met with Eren’s eyes and saw he was transfixed on him.

“You’re so beautiful.”

“Stop it.”

“I’ll never stop Levi.”

Eren let his hand slide up Levi’s arm and found the back of his neck, slowly pivoting his body forward and letting their lips meet one another.They let their tongues touch.Levi emitted a moan as one of Eren’s hands ran through his hair and the other traced down his back to cup his ass.The Omega was startled by the sensation of slick pooling and slowly escaping.Eren pulled back and sniffed the air, his pupils dilating as he refocussed on Levi’s eyes.The Omega blushed and threw his face into Eren’s neck to hide.

“Hey, it’s natural.”Levi let out a muted whine as Eren reached up to thread his fingers through his hair.“Shhh. Don’t be embarrassed by it.”

“m’not.”But Levi stayed hidden, pressing his nose into Eren’s scent gland.He let his hands find Eren’s, then pushed them back so they were above the Alpha’s head and lifted himself back up.Kicking Eren’s legs flat Levi slowly shimmied down, letting his lips ghost over the Alpha’s smooth chest, flicking his tongue out over the left nipple.

Eren silently gasped, electricity pulsed through him.

Levi let his tongue continue south as he traced the outline of the abdominal muscles one by one.The pink tip of his tongue running in tiny circles over the flesh. Eren’s left hand had come down and interlaced with Levi’s own, whilst the other massaged Levi’s scalp. 

Finally Levi arrived at Eren’s trousers.He could feel the warmth straining the material beneath.A suspicious wet patch had formed near the hip.He took a deep breath as he unbuttoned the crotch and removed the material.He pulled down the trousers and underwear at the same time as Eren’s length was freed, it bounced up and landed on the Alpha’s abdominals with a thwack.

“Levi, you don’t—“

“I want to.”

Levi suppressed a gulp as he surveyed Eren in all his glory.How did this even fit inside him last time?He tentatively reached out his hand and let is slowly curl around the Alpha.

Eren let out a hiss and threw his head back.

The object in Levi’s hand was sort of captivating.The skin felt so soft and smooth as his fingers ran along it, but when he gently squeezed it he felt the strength underneath.He slowly massaged the length of it, leading to a drop of liquid escaping from the top.Chills ran through Levi’s body and the hair on his neck stood on end.Was he really about to do this?

_Well, in for a penny._

Levi bent forward and took Eren in his mouth.The Alpha shot his head up in shock and sat up on his elbows, whilst emitting a primal moan.

“Oh fuck. Levi.”

Levi’s jaw strained as he tried to avoid grazing Eren with his teeth.This was so … intimate, he could hardly believed what he was doing.Levi let saliva pool in his mouth before slowly beginning ministrations on the warmth in his mouth.

The Alpha mewled and let his fingers dig into Levi’s scalp as the Omega took him apart piece by piece with his mouth.Fuck, if he knew it could have felt this good he should have just thrown caution to the wind and propositioned Levi the day they first met in training.

Levi let his tongue run up and down the smooth edges before swirling around the head.This felt so sensual and hearing Eren’s quiet cries and moans was messing with him.He could feel himself getting wetter as he let his hands run back up Eren’s body.He loved the feeling of the Alpha’s strong fingers coursing through his hair and softly moaned himself as they scratched his scalp. Eren’s scent and flavour were all encompassing now. 

The hunger re-emerged in Levi now, calling out for it, the bond.To tie their souls together as one.

“Wait, Levi, st-stop.”Eren called out.The Alpha push himself up into a seated position

“What?”

“I want you too.” Eren said smirking, reaching his long arms down he grabbed the Omega’s waist, pulling his trousers down then, twisting him so that his knees fell either side of the Alpha’s head.

“What are you going to—“

Levi yelped as he felt Eren’s tongue at his entrance.

“Eren, that’s dirty—“ Levi yelped again as he felt Eren probe further.

“You’re actually very clean.” Eren said before Levi heard an utterly obscene slurp.Levi felt his knees give out and himself fall forward on the Alpha.Little stars shot through his head.If this was wrong Levi didn’t want to be right.He righted himself then resumed his oral worship of Eren’s dick.Slowly learning to open up and take him further into his mouth on each thrust. 

The two of them descended into a state of animalistic bliss, a mix of bodies, and moans, and passion, and too much of everything but never enough of any one thing. 

Levi jolted forward when he felt Eren slip a finger inside him slowly opening himself up. 

“Nnnggh. Eren, fuck.”

“Shhh, stay with me, just relax.”

The Alpha let his Omega adjust to the feeling as he gently probed inside. Slowly Eren added a second finger.

“God, I can’t.”

“Does it hurt?Should I take it out?”

“No! No just, just give me a second.” Levi said breathing deeply.It was a bizarre mix of a tight cramping sensation blended with moments of extreme pleasure.

Eren was captivated by the sight before him as he watched as Levi pulsed and clenched around his fingers.So tight, so wet.He had his two fingers in up to the second knuckle.He watched as the Omega pushed back on his fingers, sucking them in, until he reached the hilt.

“God, you’re sexy.”Eren said, his free hand roaming the Omega’s cheeks and squeezing the muscle beneath the creamy milk-white skin.Levi was still too slim, but Eren was reassured that he had regained a good portion of the weight he’d lost since heading into the wild. 

Beyond that, his body had ever so slightly changed in a way that had meant he was more … supple now.Eren’s handed pressed against the thin layer of fat covering Levi’s ass.The image in front of him was driving the Alpha to the edge of his sanity. 

Eren growled as he flipped them over and spun around so that he was on top of Levi.In an instant he rocked back on his knees sitting on his heel, slid Levi’s legs up and around his own waist, then pinned the Omega’s hands behind his head and leant forward so that they were face to face, arms to arms and cock to ass.Deep vibrations were rattling out of Eren’s rib cage and Levi was panting in response.Levi looked wrecked.Eyes that were finally permitting Eren to see the desire within.Lips red and puffy, smeared with spit and fluid.Hair stuck to his forehead with sweat.Eren brushed it back then brought their two foreheads together.

“You’re mine now.”

Levi bit his lip and nodded his head.Eren lined himself up with Levi’s entrance and slowly started to press down.Tracing kisses down the side of his face, Eren kept going until he reached the scent gland.Sucking on it, he felt the smooth sphere of cartilage roll under the skin as a drop of oil escaped, sending the Alpha’s eyes dark black.

Levi emitted a small sob.

“Please Eren.”

Eren increased the pressure from his hips slowly pushing through the resistance below him.He felt his crown start to be surrounded by the promising wet warmth.His body remembered now what this feeling was, how euphoric it had been last time, and was desperate to relive the experience.

Levi’s was panting as he tried to relax his muscles beneath the Alpha, to little avail.It was painful but he knew he wanted to continue.

“I want it.I want you. I want us.”

Eren emitted a guttural moan when he finally slipped into Levi, the initial resistance giving way and granting the Alpha entry.

Nothing compared to this.This primal glory.Eren’s Alpha roared with triumph at finally proving his claim again, returning home to his Omega.He sank down inch by inch until as he was ensnared by the Omega below him.

“St-stop,” Levi gasped.The muscles in his neck were taught and his eyes held tightly shut.The Alpha’s hips froze above him as his nose came down to nuzzle Levi’s ear.

“Does it hurt?”

Levi kept his eyes closed and nodded his head.

“Should I pull out?”

“Give me a minute.”

Eren planted small kisses on the cheek of his Omega, carefully avoiding moving his hips when he felt the involuntary tensing of Levi’s core around him.

“You’re so beautiful.”

“Shhh.”

Eren felt Levi’s legs slowly tighten around his waist as the smaller man rocked gently beneath him.Slipping further into him Eren smothered a moan by sucking into Levi’s neck.

Levi gentle pushed away from Eren’s torso, then let his weight fall back, causing Eren’s shaft to rub inside him.

“Hnnngh,”

“Are you OK?”

“You can move again now.”

Grinning, Eren resumed pressure and allowed himself to fall forward until he was totally enveloped inside Levi.He gently pried Levi’s face back to face his own and locked eyes with his lover.He could feel Levi tense around him, sending shivers throughout his body. No drug could come close to the bliss he felt now.It had all been worth it, every struggle, every fight, every loss, to reach this place with him now.

Levi’s hands moved down from the Alpha’s neck to trace across the muscles of his back then settled on his hips.Gently applying force he pushed himself away from the Alpha, just an inch, before releasing and letting Eren slide back in.

“Fu-uuck,” Levi gasped.

“Feel good?”

Levi nodded causing Eren’s smile to draw wider.

Eren lifted himself up a few inches.

“Let me take care of you little Omega.”

“Hnng,” Levi muffled a whine as Eren filled him up again.

Now the Alpha started a slow rhythmic dance, rocking his hips back and forth gently, slowly opening Levi up.Eren was in heaven as he felt thick warm slick spill out and surround him, gradually loosening the iron-like grip that held him firm, allowing him more freedom to explore.

“Is it good?”

Levi had scrunched up his eyes again and tossed his head to the side, he nodded furiously.

_Jesus what the fuck was I doing for the past 12 years?_

Levi had never realised his body was capable of such pleasure.There hadn’t been a safe time to explore its capabilities until now and it was sort of a bizarre discovery to stumble upon so far into adult life.He’d always assumed sex was overrated, a physical function of the human body imbued with unnecessary sentiment, only to find out that if anything it was underrated.

Every stroke of Eren inside him sent a tiny spark through his body that made him want to fall apart.He reopened his eyes to see the Alpha above him.His eyes were staring at him intensely, sweat brewing on his brow and his forehead vein beating in time with his heartbeat.He looked savage, wild and …

_yeah ok he is really fucking hot_

Levi tightened his thighs again and pulled himself up to meet the alpha’s rhythmic thrusts.Tightening then loosening himself to surge with the Alpha.Eren growled as he leant forward to start sucking on Levi’s shoulder, above the collar bone.His tongue teased the soft skin before he let his teeth bite in, cutting through the thin flesh.Eren moaned as his mouth was filled with warm fluid, drowning the flavour of his mate.Levi whined and threw his head back as the waves of pleasure over took his entire body.His nails clawed at Eren’s thick back trying to find purchase.

“Eren, let me—“Levi moved to push his torso up and push the Alpha back onto his knees, but Eren placed a firm hand on his chest.

“No.I’m in control tonight.”Their eyes were fixed on one another - electricity sparking between them.“Let me take care of you,”Eren said, driving down into Levi again.

Levi relented, throwing himself back down on the mat again.

The Alpha picked up both his legs and brought Levi’s feet up to his shoulders.Then bending back slightly, he aimed himself so that he was rubbing the sensitive part of Levi with every thrust.Every time his crown passed it he could feel Levi’s hole spasm around him.

Levi was overwhelmed with the sensation, there was still a tight pain on the thrust, but it was drowned out by the ecstasy he felt when Eren rubbed against that particular spot inside of him.He tried to relax and surrender himself to the Alpha above him. 

The sounds they were both making now were illicit.The slapping of skin on skin, the squealch of the mixing of slick and precome, Eren’s guttural moans with Levi’s pants.A symphony of sin.

Levi’s eyes rolled back as Eren moved deeper with each thrust.

Thwack, thwack, thwack.

His hands roamed over his own body seeking to distract him from the growing sensations within him, like would soon burst.

Eren grabbed both of his arms angrily and pushed them above Levi’s head.His canines were elongated, lips raw and red, eyes were black pools.Lunging in to his lover’s neck he let his teeth sink in a fresh mating mark drawing more of his delicious blood.Levi snapped.Sparks shot out and he felt himself erupt below.Hot liquid spewed between them as he let himself go.

Eren responded by slamming into Levi all the way and releasing a howl as he joined his orgasm.

“NNgghh”. Levi felt a shooting pain within him as Eren’s length expanded.His eyes went wide at the realisation.Eren was caught up in a wave of ecstasy, his eyes clenched tight.

Levi squirmed beneath him feeling Eren grow.

“Fuck, did you?”

“Ah, fuck I think so.”

They both stared into each other’s eyes.Normally an Alpha would only knot with their bonded mate.Eren let himself drop down to rest on Levi’s chest, carefully not putting pressure on their hips.

“Holy fuck.That was—,” Eren said.

“Intense”

“Fucking intense.”

Levi squirmed a bit to relieve some of the pressure.He could still feel Eren releasing into him — how long would that go on for?

Eren pressed kisses into Levi’s jaw.

“Did you enjoy it?”

“It was … fucking amazing.” Levi let out with a chuckle, which Eren joined him in.

“I’m glad.You’re incredible.”

“You’re incredible.”

“Wow, did I fuck all the cynicism out of you too?”

“Don’t wreck the high Eren.”Levi said putting a finger to the Alpha’s lips.

And Eren knew it probably wasn’t the right time to tell Levi that he loved him, had loved him for a long time, that it might put undue pressure on the Omega, that it probably was rushing things and it might be better just to let Levi process the sex first.But in the end life was short, and who knows what tomorrow holds, so he just decided—

“I love you Eren,” Levi said.

The Alpha’s mouth dropped open.

“I love you too.”

***


	17. The winds began to howl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Note there are no manga spoilers in this as I don't read it, but I am up to date with the anime (I don't think there are any anime spoilers either as it's a totally different plot, but I might inadvertently make some).

" _All along the watchtower_  
_Princes kept the view_  
_While all the women came and went_  
_Barefoot servants, too_  
_Well, uh, outside in the cold distance_  
_A wildcat did growl_  
_Two riders were approaching_  
_And the wind began to howl, he_ y"

(All along the watchtower - J. Hendrix)

_November 852_

_Shiganshina, the basement of the Jaeger residence_

“Wait, what the fuck is ‘photograph’?”Mike asked.

Armin, Erwin, Hange, Mike and Moblit were standing around the desk of Grisha Jaeger — each in a state of total disbelief and wonder.The nature of their world literally falling apart around them.

They’d ridden straight here from the Scouts HQ, stopping only for the minimal rest.They’d been blessed with only one titan fight which had been relatively quick.

Erwin had just read the entry from Grisha’s journal aloud to the group.

Armin sat on the ground. His head felt like it might split.He hadn’t known really what to expect when they arrived, but he could never have believed it would be something that could rip apart so much of what he believed to be true about the World.

“Erwin, your father was right.”Hange said solemnly.The commander just stared at the book in his hands — holding it as if it might disappear in an instant.

“Do you think he accomplished the plan he wrote down then?That he succeeded in obtaining this ‘founder titan’ and that he passed it to Eren?”Moblit asked.

“It would explain the way events unfolded that day.”Erwin said handing Moblit the photograph.

“All this time we spent killing titans. When they were ….” Hange wobbled to the corner and vomitted.

“What do we do now?” Armin asked.

“We need to find Eren,”Erwin said.

***

_The Watch Tower_

The first time Levi had said “I love you” had broken the dam to a thousand more.He no longer cared.He would walk through fire, he would prostrate himself upon the ground, he would suffer any humiliation, but he would not be ashamed of this love and he would not let Eren have any doubts as to his feelings.

Three days had passed since then and it had been three days of easy bliss.They still had chores to do to secure food, water and their shelter; but they did them with a sense of ease, security and happiness unlike they’d either experienced before.

And at every spare moment they’d lean into a kiss or hug or a touch, or more.There was a lot of lost time to make up for and every day something new to explore.

When they’d woken up this morning, Levi had found himself nestled in Eren’s chest, the Alpha’s arms wrapping him tight and a leg thrown over his own.He’d felt it in his core — that his heat was coming, and could smell Eren’s rut starting too.

Those feelings and smells seemed natural, but there was something else too.The strange tingling sensation, the small sparks of electricity that he’d first felt when he met Eren, had returned in force.

“Eren, I think it’s starting.”

The Alpha murmured in his sleep and pulled the Omega closer.They’d prepared the best they could for this, storing food and water for the few days when they wouldn’t be able to leave the tower.

“Mmm, I can feel it too,” Eren said.

Levi hopped out of bed, shaking off a clammy sensation in his limbs.He’d let a light soup simmer overnight, which would hopefully sustain them for the next few days — or however long his heat lasted. 

They didn’t have any spare towels or such but Levi had just accepted it was probably going to messy and they’d clean up afterwards.He went outside to check Wind had enough water.

***

_Later that evening._

_The hills across the valley, approximately 5 miles north of the watch tower_

Annie, Zeke, Bertholdt and Reiner were sitting around a cold camp ground — Zeke had forbidden them to light a fire.

“You can sense him?”Reiner asked.

“I can sense any titan thanks to my mother’s blood,”Zeke said.

“You’re sure it is Eren?”Bertholdt asked.

“I’m sure,” Zeke said.

“Well why don’t we move now?”Bertholdt asked.

“Because we are not alone,”Zeke said.

“What do you mean?”Reiner asked.

“You haven’t seen them?”Zeke asked in response.

“Seen who?” Reiner asked.

“There is a group of military police on the ridge beyond the tower.Here look through the spy glass and you’ll see their camp fire,”Zeke said.

Reiner grabbed the glass from Zeke and peered out into the dark night.After searching in the darkness he finally found a glimmer of fire in the far distance.

“God you’ve got good senses, they must be over five miles away.”

“Their stench carries on the wind.”

“Zeke, why are we worried about them, the four of us can make short work of them,”Annie said.

“Why do you think they’re here?"

Annie thought for a moment.

“Same reason as us?”

“Precisely.And that might be useful to us.”

“Useful how?”Reiner asked.

“The general’s plan rests on two unknowns: one, that Jaeger does in fact carry both the Attack Titan and the Founder Titan and two, us convincing Jaeger to fight with us against Sina.I’ve no idea if we can do it.Who knows how we will react once he learns the truth about this world.But perhaps that Sina military squadron will give him some additional motivation to join our cause.”

“Oh,” Reiner said, his brain clicked as to Zeke’s meaning.

“So what do we do?”Reiner asked.

“We wait.For the right moment.Don’t worry it won’t be long now”

***

_The watch tower_

As the evening passes Eren lets himself become a creature of instinct.He has prepared as best as he can for this, so it’s time for less worrying and to permit his nature to come out unabated.

And it’s suddenly fun.It’s all sweat.It’s all moaning.It’s the thwack of skin on skin.It’s the eyes rolling back of the man he loves, being blissed out.

It’s scents mixing and permeating, creating a micro atmosphere of love and lust.There’s a playfulness to it, as their inner natures shed the years of baggage they carry around in their heads.It’s Alpha and Omega joined in harmony.

They go in and out of it.Great waves of pleasure and desire rise up in them, join them together, cause eruptions, then ebb as they crash into one another.

Moments of passion dispersed with moments of exhaustion where there eyes flutter close and then lean in tight to one another.A few hours will pass before Levi is rising up, a whine escaping his throat, climbing into Eren’s arms and starting to ride the next wave.

After 24 hours, Eren thrusts up into Levi one final time and is overcome.Energy rushes through his body as he climaxes.His knot swelling inside the Omega.Levi arches back and joins in Eren’s rapture, seeing stars, as he came with him.

Vibrations run through Eren with unending frequency.It was like a new source of energy, fusion of souls.And they were two visitors awash with bliss.

Eren saw fireworks and felt the world shift under him.Everything they’d gone through to get this point have proved worth it.

***

_The mountain ridge, two miles south of the watch tower_

Kenny watched from the small recess in the cliffs they’d climbed.

“God get a whiff of that, that’s some serious rut and heat going on down there.”

“This might be easier than we thought.”

“Go over the plan one more time. No mistakes.”

***

_The mountain ridge, two miles and 500 feet south of the watch tower_

Mikasa’s heart was pounding.What to do, what to do, what to do?

She’d first planned to alert Eren and Levi of the military police after learning their plans but when she’d approached the tower the smell of the rut was overwhelming — there was no way that she as an Alpha would be able to approach without sending both Eren and Levi absolutely berserk — and if she did so that might give the military police the exact opportunity they needed to capture them both.

She was confident in her skills but there 20 heavily armed police guards who wore weapons she was totally unfamiliar with.

If they caught her then they’d likely kill her and then there was no way she could alert the Scouts to the capture and stage a rescue operation.

She would need to see how this played out and see if an opportunity presented itself.

***

_The watch tower_

Eren was panting, covered in sweat, his hips sticky with slick.

The afterglow of their orgasm lingered.The ecstasy was mixed with awe once Eren’s eyes registered that Levi’s eyes were now glowing a brilliant silver.Not in the sense that they were shiny, or bright, but that they were now emitting their own light. 

His back was still arched and his head bent slightly back.His fingers digging into Eren’s neck — he felt them pierce the skin but no pain.

Eren sat up and cupped Levi’s neck.

“Levi?”

The Omega’s eyes snapped shut.He breathed deeply filling his lungs. 

Then Levi rolled his neck as if to stretch it out, slow and sensual.

And Eren was suddenly very afraid. 

He had spent enough time studying Levi, years of watching his movements, to memorise every minor tic and habit.And he knew that Levi did not move like that.

The Omega rolled his head forward, they were still joined, until he was only a few inches from Eren’s face.The Omega’s eyes flicked open and Eren was frozen.Levi had no pupils or irises, his eyes were glowing silver orbs. 

The Omega broke out into a smile, but a smile Eren didn’t recognise.

“Shingeki.It’s been too long,” the Omega said.

***


	18. When we all fall asleep, where do we go?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :o. I just watched the latest episode of the anime. :o. So intense. :o.
> 
> There are no manga spoilers in this fic. (Just in case you are wondering if the twist in this story is from the manga - which it isn't). Oh -- in the very, very unlikely chance that the twist I've written here is actually similar to a twist in the Manga (pls god no) -- then please do not tell me that either. Thanks! I'm paranoid about spoilers lol.
> 
> Thanks for all the lovely comments.
> 
> Let me know what you think of this chapter :).

_"What do you want from me?_   
_Why don't you run from me?_   
_What are you wondering?_   
_What do you know?_   
_Why aren't you scared of me?_   
_Why do you care for me?_   
_When we all fall asleep, where do we go?"_

(Bury a Friend - Billie Eilish)

***

_Unknown location, unknown time_

Levi felt as if he was floating. 

A disembodied voice sounded in his head. 

“Levi. It’s time to wake up.”

He tried to open his eyes but couldn’t. He couldn’t close them either. 

Where was he? Was he dreaming?

Colours and lights blurred. 

“You’ll need to listen carefully. You won’t remember it all, but I hope it’s enough”

Levi tried to open his eyes, to focus on the voice. 

Images flashed through his mind. Eren. A forest. A lake. The slums. His OMD gear. Hange. 

They were speeding up, like a film roll kicking into actions. 

Suddenly they were filled with images of things he didn’t recognise - gigantic buildings, deserts, people that he’d never seen before, who looked nothing like him. Then back to Eren, but not the Eren he knew, he was older? His clothes were different? A picture of himself staring up at the stars, but in a foreign landscape. 

Eren holding a gun, his face torn. Screaming at Levi. The two of them wrestling on the ground. 

He heard sounds too, fragments of a song, an old one he used to know, bits of speech. A phone ringing out. They filled his head and encircled him. He felt his body turn and stretch, like it was being wrung out. 

“Save him from himself.”

***

_4.32 am. 18 January 2021. Nakano, Tokyo._

“Arrrrggh!”

Levi bolted upright. Blood surged beneath his eyes. His lungs gasped for breath the way the drowning man does when released from the sea. Colours flashed before his eyes. His vision blurred then reassembled, only to blur again. 

_Where’s Eren?_

Levi grasped around him. He was alone. He was in a dark room with a window slightly illuminated by a strange glow. A book was splayed half open beside his bed — a picture of a titan on its cover drawn in a cartoon style.

_Where am I?_

His head was pounding, it was the worst headache of his life. He looked down. He noticed that he was wearing different clothes. They appeared to be some sort of pyjamas, but the design was weird. The bedding was weird, an odd appearance that he’d never seen before, like something from a play. 

Footsteps ran out. Levi jumped into a crouch. The door to the room slammed open.

“What’s wrong?!”

And there, standing at the door to this strange room, was one of the least likely people whom Levi could have imagined. 

Dressed in an equally strange outfit to Levi’s own. He saw her eyes, those eyes that shared a similar likeness to his own. A sheen a sweat and an expression of fear mixed with surprise. 

“Mikasa?”

“What’s wrong dipshit? Why are you screaming in the middle of the night?”

“What?”

“You were screaming! The whole neighbourhood is probably awake!”

Levi just looked at her dumbfounded. 

“Why are you here? Why aren’t you back at base? How did you find me?”

“Levi… are you OK?”

Hurried footsteps could be heard behind her.

And if Levi was surprised to see Mikasa, it was nothing compared to the what was about to occur. 

First he saw her hand, reach out from behind the door to cup Mikasa’s shoulder. 

The fingers. He recognised them. 

The curvature of the wrist. The quiet grace. 

And in that moment of ultimate suspense he felt as if he might die. But less than a second passed by before she stepped forward into his field of view. 

“Levi?” 

She stood there in the door way.

His vocal chords splintered. 

“Mum?”

And Kuchel ran forward, dropped to the ground and embraced him. 

And Levi didn’t care. 

Didn’t care where he was or why, what might happen or when. He hugged her. He hugged her like he’d never been able to. Hugged her as an adult. Hugged her when he was able to appreciate the value of this. The fortune. The blessing of this single moment. 

He’d never realised the depth of emptiness that had been left behind by her death, the black void and what it had led him to become.

Her hands rubbed a soothing pattern on his back. 

“What’s wrong darling, what’s wrong?”

Levi just sobbed. Just sobbed. Not with sadness or anything of the kind. This was enough. Just this moment. If he was wrenched back now it was enough. 

And he could hear Kuchel now join him in his tears, although hers were more uncertain. He felt the weight shift on the bed as Mikasa must have sat down next to them. Felt her hand on his arm. 

They stayed this way for some time. Holding each other tightly. Levi not daring to let go, not to give up a microsecond of this gift, whatever it was, he would appreciate it for everything it could be. 

Eventually, the hysteria quietened and his brain began to function again. 

“What the fuck is going on?” Levi asked.

“Did you have a nightmare Levi? I heard you cry out.”

“Everyone heard him cry out mum.”

“Shhh.”

Levi tried to think. One moment he’d been with Eren in the tower, now he was in a dark room with Mikasa and his Mother. 

“Oh fuck, am I dead?”

Oh god, did Eren fuck him to death?

“You’re not dead dip shit. You’re very much alive,” Mikasa said.

“Mikasa, don’t be mean. Levi, I think you’ve had a bad nightmare. Are you OK? It’s been a while since you had one. Should we call the doctor?”

“I don’t understand. Where are we?”

“We’re at home,” Kuchel answered. 

“We’re in the underground?” Levi asked. 

Mikasa and Kuchel looked at each other. 

“No… Levi we’re at home. In Nakano, Tokyo.”

“Tokyo?”

“Tokyo, Japan.”

Levi’s brain reeled. Where was that?

“Are we… outside the Walls?”

Kuchel suddenly looked scared. 

“Honey, just take some deep breaths, I’m going to make you some tea.”

Kuchel left the room. 

Levi looked at Mikasa and narrowed his eyes. 

“What the fuck is this Mikasa?”

“Are you high? Have you been smoking dope again?”

“What’s dope?”

Mikasa looked at him like he was an idiot. 

“Snap out of it idiot this isn’t funny. You’re scaring mum.”

“Tch.”

Levi needed time to think. He had hazy memories of the afternoon with Eren, the evening, making love, floating in a void, that voice — whose was that voice? What had it said to him?

Kuchel reentered the room with a mug of tea that she handed to Levi. 

“Drink this, it will help.”

Levi sipped deeply from the cup. He suddenly realised how dull his sense of smell had become. He couldn’t even smell Mikasa, an Alpha, who was sitting right next to him.

“Why can’t I smell you?”

“Uh, because I shower regularly?” Mikasa responded. 

Levi’s eyes flicked to her scent glands. She didn’t have any. He looked at Kuchel, her neck was also totally smooth. 

Levi looked down at his own wrists. Holy fuck. The mug of tea slipped from his wrists and fell down his body. It burned.

“Where’s Eren?” Levi asked. Lost.

“Who?” Mikasa and Kuchel responded in unison.

Levi’s brain short-circuited and he collapsed on the bed. 

***

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

***

_The Watchtower_

_November 852._

“What’s a Shingeki, Levi?” Eren asked the Omega.

“Oh.Your link isn’t fully awakened is it?” the Omega said.

“Levi ... what are you talking about?”

“Levi?”The Omega cocked his head to the side.“Yes ... Levi.He carries my link.And you,” the Omega closed his eyes as if lost in thought “… you are Eren,” he said reopening his eyes in a smile.

The Omega pressed Eren’s body to the floor and peered down at his face as if to examine him.

“You’re scaring me Levi, what’s wrong.”

“Do not be scared Alpha.Your Omega is safe.In fact, you might have finally saved him.Maybe that’s why I’ve been able to finally communicate across the link -- I’ve been trying for so long.”

Eren’s heart felt like it might explode and he could feel sweat break out across his brow.

“I don’t understand?”

The Omega continued to peer at Eren as he ran his hands up and down his face. Prodded his cheeks.

“Hmm.Mikasa would have been a stronger mate, but I think—-.”

“Hey!”

“—I think you’ll do fine.Do you know who I am Eren?”The Omega pulled back and sat up on Eren’s hips.Eren was painfully aware that his knot was still embedded in Levi.

“No?”

“My name is Ymir.”

“What are you doing to Levi?! Are you — inside him?”

“Levi and I linked.We live in different times on the circle, but our souls connect in a link that runs along the circle and joins across the dimensions.I am linked to Levi the same way you are linked to Shingeki.”

“Who is Shingeki?”

A dull buzz had started in Eren’s ear.

“Shingeki was my mate, in my time, many years ago.Well, at least, she was my mate before she died and I brought forth the titan to take her.”The Omega sounded forlorn.

“Why are you telling me this.”

“Because you asked."

“Oh.”

"But I’m not really here to talk with you, Eren." The Omega closed his eyes again. “I’m talking with Levi now.I need his help if our souls are to atone for our sin.Don’t worry Alpha - we are almost done.”

“Then he will, he'll come back right?”

“Levi has a great task before him Eren.I’m afraid it’s fallen on him, on us, to help try to repair the damage I created.To undo my hate and sorrow that has seeped out across my time and dimension.He will need your help here when the time comes too Eren.It won’t be easy.”

“I’ll do anything,”Eren said, furrowing his brow.

“Good, because I'm afraid it might take everything.”The Omega turned to look at the sun coming in the window. His eyes narrowed.“Levi might be going away for a while Eren.But you’ll get him back won’t you?”

“What do you mean? Where are you taking him!?”

“Have faith Alpha.Protect him.”

The noise that had been building in Eren’s ear increased from dull buzz to high pitched whine, that increased rapidly until he flinched and passed out.The Alpha’s body fell flat on the ground as Levi slumped on top of him.

***


	19. A Chapter in Three Acts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow. Every new anime episode is so intense.
> 
> This chapter is also quite intense :o.
> 
> I am writing a new A/B/O fic set in the BMHA: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28881825. I'm planning it to be less plot driven more character development driven, but we will see how it evolves. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this Chapter. Might cause some Angst, but I swear things will work out for them all in the end!!!!

_"Love is a burning thing_  
_And it makes a fiery ring_  
_Bound by wild desire_  
_I fell into a ring of fire_

_I fell into a burning ring of fire_  
_I went down, down, down and the flames went higher"_

(Ring of Fire - J. Cash)

_November 852_

_The watch tower_

Kenny Ackerman checked his pulse.Stable.Another day another dollar.He admitted he’d been surprised when Zackly had briefed him on this job — he’d never expected to run into that brat again — but hey, this type of work fell within his job description, and if Levi had caught the attention of the head of the military of Sina, then that was on him.

They’d been waiting at the tree line for his signal.After some pretty wild noises, the watch tower was now deathly silent — he assumed they’d worn each out other and were sleeping — the perfect time to kick off this reunion.

Flicking his fingers over his brow he gave the signal to his gang as they started towards the tower.Running up silently his 2IC kicked down the door and charged in ahead of him. 

A figure at the back of the room leapt up and Kenny fired.Three tranquilliser darts hit the figure - an Alpha - in the neck and he immediately slumped to the ground.Damn, these darts were good!He aimed his gun at the other figure on the bed beside him and shot a couple of darts into him too.All in all it took about 3 seconds.Kenny wandered over to the two bodies.A large Alpha he didn’t recognise, lay half covering his own nephew, both of them in their natural state. 

“Man, smells like these two had fun in here, reminds me of the brothel in its heyday,” Kenny said gently kicking at the shins of each body to check they were out cold.

 _“_ Damn boss.What an anti-climax!I thought these two were meant to be nasty,” Kenny’s 2IC said.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure they’ll be pretty god damn agitated once they’re awake.You got that collar thing Zackly gave us?”

The gang member handed Kenny a thin steel collar, who bent over Levi and fitted it around his neck.

“Good puppy,” he said, giving the unconscious Omega a light pat on the head, as the other gang members laughed.

“Well team… we’ve got no booze to celebrate, and a 9 day ride back to Sina, but I’d say job well done.You two restrain that Alpha in those cuffs and mouth guard - remember we can’t let him give himself a single scratch so you better not screw that up. That is unless you want to get more personal with an Alpha shifter after we all just shot up his mate real good.I wanna head back, get our cash and then we can celebrate properly.In the meantime, I’m going for a piss,”Kenny said.

He stepped over the bodies and headed back to the doorway.

That had gone eerily well.Guess he still had the touch.

Flinging open the doorway, he was surprised to find the ground covered in shadow — the Sun had been beaming all morning. 

His eyes looked at the grass then travelled upwards … two huge feet, covered in hair, came into his view.

His eyes flicked upwards.

Goddamn!

There before him sat the biggest monkey Kenny had ever seen.

“Hello,” the beast said, smiling.

***

_The woods behind the watch tower_

Mikasa was not prone to swearing, but the internal monologue running through her head now was nothing but curses.Things had gone from bad to worse, to fucking crazy. 

She’d decided the best route forward was to see how the gang of police fared in capturing Eren and Levi — if they both could fight then there was a chance if she joined them that they might survive.If they were captured, the best bet was to follow from a distance and either try to rescue them herself when the gang made camp at night, or alternatively to return to base and enlist the Scout’s help.

That had been the plan until she’d seen an unbelievable sight.A bolt of lightning had shot down from the sky to the woods on the other side of the tower and a titan, with the appearance of an ape, had appeared before her eyes.

She heard what sounded like human speech come from the Ape and the scream of one of the gang members ring out.

Her hand tightened around her sword. She tried to steady her breathing and focus on the present.

***

Zeke looked down at the man with a grin.Four other soldiers wearing military policy uniforms ran out of the tower and joined in the screams.That left 15 or so that must be scattered in the woods.He eyed their tiny guns — they’d be lucky to pierce his flesh with those bullets.

With a gentle sweep he pushed them to the side, causing them to fly several metres off the ground.

Lowering his head down he gazed in through the doorway, this would be a delicate operation. Very gently he threaded his fingers through the door and met them with his hand poking through the window from the other side.With a quick jolt he pulled the structure upwards flinging the tower down the hill and leaving the ground floor intact.He saw he’d caused a few bricks to drop but he’d managed to avoid injuring the prizes within. He gently lifted up the two men in separate hands.Gazing down at the left, he was amazed that this was how he was meeting his half-brother for the first time.He peered down at the unconscious form — there wasn’t much likeness — he supposed him must resemble his mother.Flicking over at the other hand he considered the Omega, small and fragile.The humans had placed a metallic device on his neck, interesting.

So this was it, the chance to shape the course of history.  
  
The official order had been to retrieve them both, but he wondered…

He could smell the recent rut and heat on both of them, but saw no bond marks.A mated Alpha separated from his unbonded Omega.Was there any stronger pull in nature than the call for the Alpha to get back to his Omega in that situation?Would there be anything the Alpha would refuse to do to get the Omega back?Any line he would refuse to cross?Zeke doubted it.

The critical piece in this game was Jaeger, but getting him to join their side had always seemed an insurmountable obstacle in the plan.Especially if he ever worked out that Reiner and Bertholdt were directly responsible for the fall of the Wall. 

He’d been told this Omega was special, but couldn’t really believe the general’s fear of him.He wasn’t a titan, couldn’t shift.Even if he was a remarkable soldier it seemed unlikely he would play a decisive role in the war to come.He wasn’t one to be swayed by old maid’s tales of Ymir.And, come to think of it, perhaps letting him be captured would work in their favour if it turned the Omega against Sina.

Any good military operative knew that flexibility was key to victory and he felt this was a chance to improve their odds.

Lowering his right hand to ground he offered Levi’s body to the leader of the gang.

“You can have this one.”

***

Kenny stared open mouth at the titan as it dropped Levi at his feet.

He gaped at it — the titan was huge.He’d never heard a titan speak since his days with Uri. 

“Go on, take him, and go.”

Kenny clicked into form.They had not expected this.Maybe with some thunder spears they stood a chance, but they had only prepared to encounter normal titans — how the fuck was he to know that there were more intelligent titans roaming around out here?

Being given Levi, the target with high value, felt like a trap, but what was he going to do?Start shooting off rounds at this beast?

“I don’t need to be told twice.Gang, ready the horses, we ride out.”

The gang members were shaking as they ran to the horses sheltered in the woods.Kenny had slung Levi over his shoulder and was belting away from the beast titan.If they got out of this alive then someone was looking out for him up above.He secured Levi to the pack horse tied to his own.He then mounted his own horse and kicked in his heels. 

The horse neighed and reared up before breaking into a gallop down the trail leading down the side of the hill, the gang surrounding him.He’d no idea what that beast’s game was, but if it meant he still got a pay check out of this mission then he wasn't going to complain.

***

Zeke watched as the gang rode off with Levi. 

“End of Act 1,” he said quietly to himself.

He gently lay Eren down on the grass.Feeling the flash through him, he lay down flat on the ground then released himself from his titan form.Breaking out of the nape as the body steamed around him he walked back to the woods.

Annie, Reiner and Bertholdt were staring at their leader as he walked back towards them.

“Okay boys, you’re up.”

“What did you do Zeke?Why did you let them escape with the Omega?’ Reiner asked in shock.

Cracking his neck from side to side, Zeke explained his reasoning to them.

“But that was an official order?!” Reiner argued.

“You need to learn to think on your feet more Braun.You guys have been here for years and achieved nothing.This plan makes sense.Now listen to me, once the corpse of my titan has evaporated, you need to go wake him up, and I want you to be very specific in what you say to him.”

They huddled around as Zeke went over their changing role in his new plan.

***

“EREN!”

He blinked, his head was spinning, what had happened? Where was Levi?Where was his mate?The scent of heat was gone, he was outside.He could smell … Alphas?A growl grew in his diaphragm.

“Eren, wake up!”

A hard slap met his cheek, and he snapped his eyes open.His vision focussed on the two figures above him. The rut had almost ended but the testosterone remained in his system.

“Reiner?” Eren said groggily, holding his head and trying to focus.

“Wake up!” Bertholdt shouted.

“Bertholdt?”

“Are you ok?Are you injured?” Reiner asked.Eren saw Reiner was cutting ropes off of Eren’s hands and feet. “Did they beat you?”

“Who?Where?Where is Levi?” Eren asked.His anger was mixed with a disoriented sense of fear.

“They took him Eren!” Reiner answered, shouting.

Adrenaline surged through his body and the nausea lifted.Rage flared within him.Taken?The Alpha in him roared to life.

“Who?Who took him?Why are you here?”Eren said, the words choking as he tried to maintain control.

“The military policy have him.We’ve been looking for you for weeks Eren!For you and Levi.We can’t believe you’re still alive out here.But when we got here, the police were already here.They had surrounded the tower.”

Eren’s memory jolted back to the door being kicked in. He clenched his fists feeling his nails cut into his palms.

“What the fuck?They took Levi?We have to go after them.”He yelled at them.Deep inside the primal recesses of his mind a message was being sent to every nerve and sinew in his body: protect the Omega.The fact that Levi had been taken from him at such a sensitive time, when he would be unable to look after himself, amplified this messageHis glands went into overdrive pumping chemicals into his bloodstream.He saw red.

“You can.There still might be time if you can transform again, it’s been less than twenty minutes.We will try to support you the best we can,”Bertholdt said.

Eren stood up on his feet.The dizziness returned as he tried to steady himself.

“Where are they?”

“They’ve just crossed the river, see?” Bertholdt pointed to the valley below them.Eren’s eyes followed it and sure enough there was a group of twenty or so soldiers on horseback — how had they gotten so far from the Wall in such a big group?His eyes found Levi’s body, tied down to a pack horse alongside a soldier.

“What the fuck are they doing with him?” Eren screamed.

“Can you transform?Maybe you should wait until you recover.”

“Fuck that.I’m going.I’ll kill those fucks.”

Eren had already started running away from Reiner and Bertholdt. 

How had they found him?He didn’t have time to think about it. 

All he knew was that Levi had just finished his second heat and would be exhausted.There were too many thoughts in his head.What had happened before they’d been captured?Was that a dream?Thinking too much now was no good — he had to focus on getting Levi back.

Picking up his pace he brought his hand to his mouth and bit down hard. A flash of lightning ran through the air.His hulking titan form let out a scream that reverberated through the valley.

***

Zeke stood beside Annie in the woods.

“Good performance by those two.Think you can match it.”

Annie sighed and cracked her knuckles.

“I’ll beat it."

***

Kenny looked over his shoulder in fear.  
  
Of course it had been far too easy.Life didn’t hand out Omegas like treats at a candy store.

A giant titan, another intelligent one by the looks of it, roared at them from the tower.Must be Jaeger, or another of the Ape’s friends.

They had about two miles between them, not nearly enough. 

“Hee-ya,” he dug his heels in the horse.

***

Eren ran with determination towards the gang.This would be quick and simple.Thank god for Reiner and Bertholdt - if they hadn’t awoken him, he would have missed this opportunity to save his mate.

He was gaining ground quickly and expected he’d catch them in less than 30 seconds.

His eyes were transfixed on Levi’s slumped form over the horse.He must ensure he is not injured in the process.He would seize his horse first, place him out of harm’s way, then—

CRACK!!

Eren felt his feet swing out from under him and he fell towards the ground.

A fist collided with the back of his head and he roared in pain.Rolling over he looked up.

The female titan was standing over him — what the fuck!Why now?Why now of all times?Why?!She smashed his face in with another kick.

Eren couldn’t think - he just let himself slide into fury.She would not stop him getting Levi back.He launched at her throwing his body.His fist collided with her face as she staggered backwards. 

Back and forth they fought with an intensity beyond any he’d experienced.It was life or death, but not his life that he cared about, the life of his mate. He screamed with frustration as he managed to grapple her to the ground.Why was she doing this?Was she with the military police?Could that even be possible? Stop thinking, just act.

His thumbs found her eyes and he dug in gouging them out, causing a satisfying pop.

He screamed out with rage.  
  
He would kill her then kill the rest of them.Then he would take Levi and run far.Across mountains, across the seas, until there were no more people, where no one could ever get them.He would win.He looked down at her mutilated face in a wicked glee.

CRACK!!

For the second time his skull was hit from behind and he fell forward.He rolled off her body and looked up to see ———

No.No.

Six years ago, when the wall had fallen.

The armoured titan.He was here now.

The armoured titan ran forward and smashed Eren’s face with his fist.He staggered back.The female titan was standing again — she’d healed one of her eyes.

It wasn’t fair.He had been winning.

The armoured titan delivered a blow to his gut, he blocked it, but the female titan used the opportunity to kick out his feet again.He was meant to win.He was going to save Levi.He saw the horses getting further away in the distance.The armoured titan straddled him and started raining blows down on him.He felt his forearms crack when they tried to block the blows.

It wasn’t fair.

The fist smashed his skull.He felt his vision black out. 

It wasn’t fair.

***

_The woods above the watch tower_

Mikasa had seen enough.It killed her to make the decision but she knew what she had to do.

She was in shock.Reiner was the armoured titan.Annie was the female titan.Did that mean Bertholdt was the colossal titan?Most likely.

She wanted to kill them there and then.But it would be foolish.She could not take on three, maybe four titans by herself.She would need all the help in the world to do it — she needed to get back to Armin, Erwin and Hange and let them know what she’d discovered.They were her only chance to rescue Eren.

Quietly slipping away from the ruins of the tower she headed back towards her horse.


	20. To walk a lonely road

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. The latest episode :O.
> 
> This chapter has lots of plot.

_"Pulling down backstreets deep in your head  
Slipping through dreamland like a tourist_ _"_

(Dreamland - Glass Animals)

***

_6.52 am.11 January 2021.Nakano, Tokyo._

Levi felt groggy.Was this a hangover?Had he been drinking.His head was pounding.

“I’m sorry for calling you so early Zoe, it’s just that it was a quite a shock.It’s been years since his last episode.I don’t know if it was an episode but he was very upset."

 _“_ Don’t be silly! I live for moments like this Kuchel.You know I wouldn’t miss a chance to probe at Levi’s inner psyche for the world!”

Levi’s eyes cracked open.The sun had risen and the room was now lit up with its morning rays.

“Ah it looks like sleeping beauty is awake?”

“Hange?”

Levi sat up and relived the shock, albeit somewhat lessened, of seeing Mikasa, Kuchel and now Hange crowded around him on a bed, in a room he was totally unfamiliar with.

“How are you feeling Levi?Been reading too much scary Manga?”Hange said picking up the book that he’d noticed earlier and putting it on his desk.

“I don’t …. I don’t understand anything.I’m not …. My memories are fucked.”

“Can you tell me what day it is?”

“I’ve lost track.”

“What year is it?”

“852.”

Hange’s smile froze slightly.

“Can you tell me your name?”

“Levi Ackerman.”

“Ackerman?” Kuchel asked, her voice filled with worry.

“What’s the last thing you remember?”

“Being with Eren at the watch tower”

“Eren?…”Hange asked.

These answers were obviously not the ones the three women in the room were expecting.Even Mikasa looked worried.

“Levi, don’t you remember helping me to cook dinner last night?”Kuchel asked.“We made sukiyaki.You went down the grocery store to buy the meat and noodles, remember?”

And then an image flashed into Levi’s mind.He was standing in a store, filled with food, aisles and aisles of it.He was looking at a parcel of meat in his hand.

“You came back and you prepared the vegetables for me.” Kuchel continued.

An image of himself standing over a sink, holding a knife and a bag of carrots.

“Yeah, you spilt the miso on the table,” Mikasa added.

A picture of the three of them at a table, his hand accidentally knocking a small bowl.

“I … I can remember it, but.”

That hadn’t been his last night.He and Eren had been preparing for his heat.He’d made them soup.But no, that wasn’t right either. 

His brain pounded, like it was to be torn asunder.

The miso, he had spilt it.Mikasa had laughed.He’d scolded her and leapt back to avoid it getting on his pants.She’d cleared the dishes after dinner.

He looked at the book on his desk.He’d been reading it before he went to bed last night, about the Attack Titan, about Eren?

“I remember the miso.”

Kuchel broke out into a smile and hugged him.

“Of course you do, you’re OK Levi, you’ve just had a bad dream then gotten a bit confused.It hasn’t happened for a while, but I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about.Maybe we can go see your doctor later?”Hange said.

“Why are you here Hange?”Levi asked, still feeling as lost as ever.

“Hange? No one has called me that since school” she replied.Kuchel bit her lip.

“I thought it would be good for you to see another familiar face so I invited Zoe over.”

“Got to make sure my favourite employee is OK.”

“Employee?”

“Last time I checked.”

An image flashed into his mind of himself and Hange dressed in uniform, a gun in a holster on his belt.A badge on his chest.

“I’m a police officer?”

“One of the best!” Hange beamed at him.

Levi let his head drop into his hands.It was overwhelming.Who was he really? 

***

/ / / / / /

***

_November 852_

_A camp ground near the Watch Tower_

“Eren, can you hear us?”

The Alpha lay still.Too much had happened in the past 24 hours.There was nothing left, but exhaustion and fury.

“Eren?”

He felt someone take his hand. He blinked his eyes open.

“Reiner?”

He looked around.

“Bertholdt?Annie?”

“Are you OK?”

He can’t smell Levi.“I lost him,” Eren said letting out a choked cry.He dragged his nails down the his cheek, scratching the surface layer of skin

“We saw.The two titans that attacked you.Eren — was that the armoured titan that attacked Shiganshina?”Bertholdt asked.

“Yes, that was the bastard.Where are they, what happened?What the fuck did you guys do?”

“We couldn’t see clearly, but it looked like they were working with the Military Police,after you all fought they ran off towards the horses, but they didn’t attack them, they just ran alongside them.”

“All this time, we’ve been looking for answers, and the Military Police were responsible this whole time?” Eren asked bewildered.“We need to kill them.”

“We don’t know if they even are Military Police, they might have just been using their uniforms.”Reiner said solemnly.

“How long have I been out?What are we doing just sitting here — we need to fucking go now!” Eren asked.

“Settle down Eren!It’s been over 12 hours.We can pursue them but you’ll need to rest first.There is no point going after them until you’ve healed and we need to come up with a plan or they’ll just beat you up again.”

“I failed him,” Eren said.He felt like he was falling.

“Hey, you haven’t Eren.He is OK.It seems clear they wanted him alive.You’re going to get him back.”Bertholdt said touching his arm.

“Might not be in as good condition as when he left though,”Annie said with a sigh.

Reiner shot her a death stare.

“What the fuck did you just say?” Eren asked.

“Leave him be Annie,” Bertholdt said.

She rolled her eyes and turned her focus to the fire.

“No answer me.What the fuck did you just say about my mate?” Eren said leaping up, then staggering on his bruised legs.

Annie just looked at him pitifully.He lunged at her, but she rolled out of the way, then pinned him. 

“Get the fuck off me.”

“You need to calm down,” she said.

“Don’t tell me to calm down,” he yelled.Ripping his shoulder blade he twisted out of her grip, then delivered a strong kick to her gut.Bertholdt and Reiner jumped up and grabbed him.

“Stop Eren! Stop — we’re on your side OK?!We’ll help you get him back!”Reiner said.

“How did you guys find us anyway?We’re so fucking far from base.”

“Stop struggling and we’ll tell you.Eren, we have a lot to discuss with you.A whole lot actually.There is something you don’t know about the three of us.Some of it might be a shock, but if you hear us out I think you’ll understand why we haven’t been able to tell you until now.If you listen to us we’ll help you get Levi back” Reiner said.

“Then tell me! Tell me and let’s go,”Eren said.

“I’m probably not the best person to explain it to you,”Reiner said.

“Jesus christ, who is then?”

“There is someone else we’ve been travelling with that we want you to meet,” Reiner said.

“What?Who is it?” Eren said, suspiciously

“Eren…” Reiner said flicking his eyes at the fire for a time then returning to gaze into Eren’s eyes, “this will sound unbelievable.But the person is.…”

“What?”

He heard footsteps from the darkness beyond the fire as a figure slowly came into view.A tall man, with blonde hair, wearing a pair of glasses.

He walked over and knelt down beside Eren.

“Eren… I’ve waited a long time to finally meet you,” Zeke said.

Eren locked eyes with the man kneeling before him.His face gently lit up by the camp fire.The eyes, the shape of the face, the voice.It was all his father, save for the colour of his hair.

“Who are you?” Eren said, suspiciously.

“I’m your brother,” the man said leaning in to embrace him in a hug.

***

_The same day._

_The road back to the Scouts HQ_

Mikasa rode through the night.The sooner she could get back the sooner they could come up with a plan to rescue Eren.

Her mind was continually replaying the events she’d witnessed as she tried to work out their implications.

All the years that she’d slept in the same dorm as Annie, the missions she’d gone on with Reiner and Bertholdt.How had they done it?How did they live with themselves?How could she destroy them?

***

_The same day._

_The camp ground near the Watch Tower_

Eren was worried for his sanity.Was he losing touch with reality?Was any of this real?

Twenty-four hours ago he’d been helping Levi to peel root vegetables.He’d complimented him on his cutting style.

Since then his mate appeared to have become the host to a spirit, they were ambushed by a gang of military policy, he’d fought the female titan, the armoured titan had reappeared and beat the crap out of him, and now… now he’d been introduced to his half-brother.Eren wouldn’t have believed him if he wasn’t the striking image of his own father.And for the fact that Reiner, Bertholdt and Annie had backed up his story.

Then his half-brother, Zeke, had proceeded to further blow Eren’s mind by explaining that he came from another country across the sea, Marley.That they were terrorised by titans sent by the government of Sina, who created the titans and controlled the armoured titan, the colossal titan and female titan.And that the four of them were seeking to overthrow the Sina government to free all of them from the tyranny forever.  
  
The story seemed unbelievable until Zeke had reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small portrait.

“This isn’t a portrait Eren.We call this a photograph.”

And there unmistakably was his father, much younger, with another woman and a small baby on their knee.

“That’s me, Eren.And that’s our father.He also sought to overthrow Sina and free our people from their oppression.He came here to find the founder titan and succeeded, and passed it on to you.”

“How is this possible.How could we not know?”

After what felt like hours of explanation, Zeke finally had finished filling in the massive gaps in Eren’s knowledge.Zeke was a shifter like Eren.Reiner, Annie and Bertholdt were soldiers in his corp and had been sent to infiltrate Sina.The three sat by nodding throughout.He couldn’t believe that the three of them had kept these secrets for the time he’d known them.If they hadn’t revived him after the ambush then he might have never known where Levi had been taken.

“And now Eren, these people, the King, Reiss, and most of all Zackly, the key figures of Sina, they are not only are they responsible for the torture and death of your mother, and the deaths of countless others, but they’ve kidnapped your mate.So I have only one question for you.”

Zeke stood up and offered his hand to Eren, pulling him up to his feet.

“Will you join us, to fight alongside us, as brothers in arms, until we kill every last one of those Sinaen bastards?”

A cool chill ran down from the mountain.The wind had changed.

“I will.I’ll kill them all.Every last one of them.”

And for the first time that evening, Eren smiled.A wicked smile.The flames flickered in his eyes. 

***

_1st of December, 852_

_Scouts HQ, the southern gate_

Armin was tired.Their relatively easy expedition to Shiganshina had been far more arduous on the return trip and they were lucky to have made it back, with all of them in one piece. 

They’d had heavy rain and sleet which meant lighting campfires was impossible and they were all thoroughly soaked through.He’d debated with the others as to whether they should try to find a cave to wait out the weather, but their searches for a suitable location had been interrupted by a titan attack.Moblit’s hand had been crushed during the fighting, which meant they needed to get back to the hospital as soon as possible.

They had made it back to the forest of giant trees OK, but then encountered a smaller group of titans there.They’d survived but were all exhausted, with another day of riding ahead of them. 

After the revelations in Dr Jaeger’s journal he had been desperate to find Eren and Mikasa, but now he just dreamt of a warm bed for a few hours.

They rose over the last of the hills, and at last the base was in sight.

Mike disrupted his thinking.

“What are those idiots doing on the gate?” He asked.

Armin narrowed his eyes and tried to see through the rain.The southern gate would normally be watched by two Scouts, but he saw that they’d been replaced by a group of Military Police. The gate and some of the wall was partially destroyed in Eren’s rampage, so it had been replaced by a makeshift barricade of sorts.

“Erwin?” Armin asked.

“Let’s find out,” the Commander said in response as they rode on.

They continued riding for another five minutes before drawing near. 

“What the fuck is that?” Mike asked aloud, using his good arm to point to the clocktower. The tower was usually plain, but someone had unfurled a huge banner of the Military Police emblem upon it.

They neared the gates.

“Halt”, one of the police officers shouted.

“Open the gates, we’re fucking cold as shit out here,” Mike yelled up at them.The officer eyed them carefully then started speaking quietly with his squad.

Armin saw movement on the other side and heard the sound of the cogs turning.The gate finally swung open and they rode in.It was eerily quiet on the other side, but Armin supposed most officers were indoors during the foul weather.They rode up to the stables and dismounted leading their horses inside, finally out of the elements.Armin led his horse to the stalls then started unpacking when—

“Erwin Smith!” A voice rang out from outside the stables. 

_Who was that?_

Armin looked at Erwin, who’s face was fixed with his usual stony demeanour.He turned to Hange and whispered in her ear for a moment before stepping outside.Armin and the rest followed behind.

When they exited the stables they found themselves surrounded by a group of 50 or more military police.The front row already had their weapons drawn. Nile Dok at the centre.

“A welcome party for us Dok?” Erwin asked.

“You are hereby placed under arrest for treason against the crown,” Dok announced in an icy tone.Military officers swarmed him.Armin and Mike leapt forward and drew their swords.

“No” Erwin said to them, “put them away now.” 

Armin looked at Mike who didn’t move.He had that glint in his eye that made Armin unsure what way he was going to go.Seconds ticked by until he finally dropped the sword muttering curses under his breath.Armin followed his cue and repeated the process.

“The rest of you are to be detained pending my interrogation of Mr Smith and your recent activities.”

“Fuck off mate, you’re on our turf now — you think you can come on to our base and tell us how to run our—“

“I think you’ll find this is our turf now actually, Mr Zacharius.Zackly has ordained that the Scouts be disbanded with its troops to be absorbed under the command of the military police,” Dok said.

“Not if I have anything to fucking do with it—“

“Mike, stop.” Erwin said.Erwin turned back to Dok.“I’ll come with you quietly on the condition that the others are not imprisoned.They will agree to stay on base under the surveillance of your troops and to surrender their weapons.”

“Erwin, what the hell?” Moblit asked.

“Trust me,” he whispered, imploring the others to go along with him.

“Fine, but any whisper of sedition from that lot and they’ll be thrown in the cells alongside you.” Dok said.

“Take him away.Make sure you strip all their weapons too.Not a pen knife to be left on them.”

Anger and humiliation rose within Armin as a young police officer took his swords and knives. 

What was with the endless list of bullshit they had to endure?

***

_The same day, the trail between the Watch Tower and Sina._

“Are you sure this Omega is not dead?”

“Feel his pulse, his heart is fucking beating isn’t it?” Kenny replied.

“He’s been unconscious for more than 48 hours.That’s not normal is it?”

“Maybe that’s what that collar does.Anyway be glad you don’t have to listen to his bitching.”Kenny said.

This fucking rain was endless.He was starting to wonder whether the fat pay check would be worth it.Titans were bad, but fucking freezing cold and wet socks were almost worse at this point, with days of this to go on.He looked over at Levi’s lifeless body, tied sloppily to the saddle of the pack horse.He looked lifeless but every now and then he’d stop to check on him and he was still alive.

***


	21. Walk into a cafe

_"People say that you'll die,_

_faster than without water,_

_but we know it's just a lie_

_scare your son, scare your daughter_

_people say that your dreams_

_are the only things that save you_

_come on baby, in our dreams_

_we can live our misbehaviour"_

(Rebellion - Arcarde Fire)

_3rd of December, 852 (in the evening)_

_Scouts HQ, Barracks_

“Don’t even think about it,” Armin said angrily.

“Military Police regulation 3.A.2. - male recruits to have heads shaven.”

“If you think you’re coming close to me with that thing—“

“Oh what going to go run to daddy in the cell block?Get all your little swords back?”

Armin seethed as the junior police officer gloated above him.He was backed up by six or so others all equipped with handguns.

“Now be good and let us shave off that fucking ugly mop of hair.”The officer said, yanking Armin down in the seat and running the clippers down the the middle of Armin’s scalp.He felt helpless sitting there as these Alpha pricks gloated above him about their new found powers. 

It was like being transported back to when he was five and bullies would hurl rocks at him on the streets of Shiganshina.He had to endure listening to the officers swap stories of the best ways to abuse their new privileges.They now enjoyed a superior rank due to being part of the original Military Police that had absorbed the Scouts.How had this happened?What was going on in Sina?

“Or maybe you’re worried your boyfriend in the cells won’t love you anymore without these golden locks is that it?”The officer sneered.

“Who are you talking about?”

“Kirstein and his little band of misfits, I remember seeing you hang around with those wannabe heroes.Those idiots really thought they could stop us taking over this base.Tried to rally the troops behind them.Turns out they their bark is worse than their bite.”

“Shut up,” Armin said, growing red.

“Oooh talking back to a superior officer, that will be extra laundry duty for you recruit.”

Armin bit his tongue.He didn’t have Eren or Mikasa here to protect him any more.But he would be damned if some upstart shits from Sina were going to walk all over him.He was not going to be able to beat them in a fist fight, so he needed to think.He needed a plan. ****

***

_The 4th of December, 852_

_Marleyan warship, in the narrow sea_

“General, I’m getting a radio signal from the war chief Zeke,” a marleyan officer said.

“Read it out,” Admiral Magath ordered.

“Jaeger acquired.Will fight with us.Omega escaped.Press the button.”

“Well the top brass back in their fort won’t like it, but if you ask me no great loss to that Omega,” Magath said to the officers standing around the Admiral’s table.

“There’s only so much a good blow job can do you for in a war,” one of the officers said, causing the room to erupt in to laughter.

“Looks like we’re finally going to get to test out the big boy guns.I’ve been waiting for this day a long time.” The Admiral said.“Full steam ahead!”

***

_The 4th of December, 852_

_Outside Wall Maria_

“You’re sure about this?”

“I can’t be sure until I see it, but we think you hold the founder titan within you.And once you learn to harness its powers, Sina will crumble.”

“I don’t know what I’m meant to feel.”

“Hold my hand.The blood of Ymir runs through my from my mother.You need to try to recognise the spiritual connection of the founder titan with other titans.Look at the wall and try to visualise the titan inside.”

Zeke needed to confirm whether Eren really did hold the founder titan within him and more importantly whether he could use it.The military’s plan for a short and swift crushing of Sina relied on it.They’d reached to Wall Maria and it was now time to see whether their efforts to secure Jaeger had been worthwhile.

It was a slow enterprise and Zeke was fearful that it may have all been for nothing.

He tried to guide Eren as best he could based on his own experience with the powers of the beast titan, but this didn’t seem to help.

“God, what a waste of time,” Annie drawled after they’d been sitting in front of the wall for several hours, within Eren spending most of that time shouting commands uselessly at the titans buried within.

“Shut up Annie, he needs time to learn to control the power,” Bertholdt said.

“You mean if he has the power,” She said.

“Eren has the founder titan, I’m certain of it, I can feel it,” said Zeke forcefully.Pushed the growing doubt to the back of his mind.

A flock of birds flew lazily over the wall.There were no signs of life in the Wall.

_***_

_The 4th of December, 852_

_Armin’s quarters, Scouts HQ_

Armin finally had some peace.After have his head shaved, he’d been permitted to shower last night, then he’d been interviewed by one of Dok’s lackeys for an hour or so, who asked one outrageous question after the other. 

_“Have you ever plotted to overthrow the King?” “No.”_

Finally they’d let him retire to his quarters and he slept like the dead. 

After his first full night’s sleep in days, he’d changed into a fresh uniform.Someone had ripped the wings of freedom off the cloak in his absence.He looked at the empty patch and pondered their next move.Hange had told him to rest and that they would speak today about next steps.He wondered how Erwin was getting on with the interrogation, what cruel and unusual punishments were being inflicted on him while Armin had the comfort of a bed?

Dok was running the place like a dictatorship, with the original military police officers enjoying free time whilst the original Scouts ran the base under their command.

He felt restless, but he wasn’t sure there was anything he could do for the moment.Obviously their immediate problem was Dok, but then beyond that, what did the future hold for them?The Scouts?They needed to share what they’d learned with the people - they needed to know the truth behind the Walls, the Titans, but how would they respond? 

Grisha Jaeger’s journal had ended shortly before the attack on Wall Maria and didn’t explain who had been behind the attack.Was it orchestrated by the Reiss Family in Sina, or by the Marley government across the sea?They needed to get Eren back, to find out whether it was true that he now carried both titans and whether he could use their powers.

There were so many endless questions it hurt his brain.  
  
There had been a military officer patrolling the hallway earlier but they seemed pretty disinterested in life — mumbling something as he escorted Armin to breakfast in the Mess Hall.

There was a sombre mood in the Hall as he’d breakfasted with his comrades.He was excited to see Sasha and Connie there.They had filled him in on Dok’s coup d’etat.They’d joined with Jean and tried to lead a fight back against the police, but Dok’s lackeys had fired and killed two junior scouts at which point they’d surrendered.Sasha and Connie were imprisoned initially but released shortly thereafter, whilst Jean remained in the cells.

Armin had given them the basic details of their expedition, promising to tell them everything when he had a chance. Most of the scouts around him looked at him seeking guidance and reassurance and whispers were flying as to whether the allegations of Erwin’s treason were true.

Now he was back in his room, sitting at his desk trying to put the jigsaw pieces together and come up with a plan he could discuss with Hange. 

There was a tap at the window, and he glanced up and fell back in surprise.Mikasa was crouched on the sill outside his window.

He raced to open the latch and she slipped inside.

“Mikasa!”

They embraced each other — she was freezing.

“I’m so … fucking … cold”

Armin grabbed his blanket off his bed and wrapped it around her shivering form. Her teeth were chattering.

She pointed her head to the door.“More of our friends outside?”

“Yeah, let’s keep our voices down, they’re not particularly interested but we can’t be sure if they’ll come in.”

“Jesus Armin! Your hair!”

“I know!I feel so naked.”

She silently removed her boots and placed Armin’s chair under the door handle. He got out a fresh uniform for her.

“You are not going to believe what we found in the basement,” he said.

“Well you are not going to believe what I found beyond the forest.”

“They’re alive?!”

“I hope so.”

They sat on his bed - there was much to discuss.

***

/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / 

***

_8.40 am.11 January 2021.Nakano, Tokyo._

“Jesus, Hange … I mean Zoe.This is so fucking embarrassing!”

Levi’s brain had slowly clicked into gear.It had been the longest, most vivid hallucination of his life.He’d literally woken up that morning thinking he was another person, a manga character no less, and his superior officer had gotten to see the tail end of it.He was never going to live this down — thank god they hadn’t been privy to the more erotic elements of his dream.But it was strange, it hadn’t felt like a dream at the time.In someways it still felt that his life now was the false one. 

After talking it out with his mother, sister and Zoe his memories had come flooding back and he’d realised he’d been confused by the dream — he recalled a similar occurrence when he was a teen that had led to a few appointments with a psychologist, but it had been years since the last one.That had had some similar elements to it as this one.He’d been trapped in an underground city and had needed to escape.That he’d been something not quite human. He’d journaled it at the time.

Now, he remembered.He was a newly-minted detective of the Tokyo police force, recently assigned to the public safety and anti-terrorism unit being led by Zoe Hange.They generally focussed on extremist groups that might seek to disturb the peace or otherwise create fear or terror in the population.

He pinched the skin on the back of his hand, he could feel the sting.

“Oh c’mon Levi, you got to see me break down after the Hitoshi case, I haven’t seen you this worked up since Eren left.”

“Eren?”

“Sorry, didn’t mean to bring him up.”

“No, that’s not it, you … you know him?”

“Pssh as if you ever let me meet him in the flesh.I just had to suffer through your drunken ramblings when you’d had too much sake.”

Images flashed through Levi’s head.Zoe and he drunk at a late night ramen bar.Crying into a bowl of noodles.

“Where is he now?” Levi said urgently.

Zoe looked confused.

An image of him and Eren fighting in a dimly lit room, Eren crying and screaming at him, wrestling on the floor, a table knocked over.

“I need to find him.”

“Are you going to eat that?” Zoe asked.

She was pointing at the untouched doughnut sitting in front of him.She’d told him they could take the morning off while he got his wits together and start their shift this afternoon.They’d gotten take out coffee from a bakery near Levi’s family home.

“Go ahead,” Levi replied.

“Why don’t you call him?” Zoe asked.

Levi blushed, foolishly.Of course, he had a phone. 

He opened it and scrawled through the contacts.There was no Eren in the list, but he found one called ‘Suicidal Bastard’.He looked at the name and his memory stirred.

+++

_A memory from 7 June 2017.Nakano, Tokyo._

“Hey, no cut-ins,” Levi said to the man that had just pushed in front of him in the queue.

“Oh sorry shorty, I didn’t see you standing there,” the man replied with a wink.

“What.The fuck.Did you just call me?” Levi replied.

“Haha, only teasing.Man you guys in Tokyo are really sensitive huh?”

“Yeah to rude bastards from wherever-the-fuck-you’re-from we are.”

“Oh sorry, sorry my bad.Here let me pay for your coffee.I’m Eren by the way, just here for the conference.I’m from Kobe.”

Eren extended his hand to Levi.

“Figures.”

Levi studies Eren’s face for a moment.He’s tall and handsome, which probably explains his arrogance — classic rural cop vibes.Levi guesses they’re about the same age, maybe Eren is a little older judging by the few fine lines at the edge of his eyes.

“Oh come on dude, look I take it back, now what’re you having?”

“I can order my own damn coffee.”

Levi pushed past Eren to the counter.

“One Americano, extra hot, no sugar.”

“Figures.”

“You got a problem with my coffee order Kobe?”

“Not yet.But you know research suggests serial killers prefer their coffee black.Maybe I’ll need to keep an eye on you going forward.”

Levi narrowed his eyes at Eren.Had he met anyone this annoying since joining the force?He doubted it.

“I’ll bear that in mind,” he said, deciding to put an end to the conversation.

The girl at the coffee counter returned.

“That will be 125 yen.”

“Sure,”Levi reached for his wallet.But it wasn’t in his pocket.He muttered under his breath as he realised he’d left it in his jacket, back in the conference room.

“I’ll get it—“

“No!”

But Eren had already dropped the change on to the tray in front of Levi.“And another one of those to go please.”

“So you’re a serial killer too?”

“Nope, I’m more of a suicidal bastard, but we also like our coffee black.”

“Stay here, I’m going to go and get my wallet.”

“Levi, relax, it’s a cup of coffee.”

“How do you know my name?” Levi asked suspiciously.

“You’re wearing a name tag,” Eren said pointing at the tag Levi had been given during the opening session.

_I’m a fucking idiot._

“Oh.Right.Well.No, I don’t want you to have paid for my coffee.”

“Well, if you really want to repay me, buy me a glass of beer after this thing wraps up?” Eren said leaning in close to Levi.

And for the first time in a quite a long while Levi found himself speechless.It suddenly hit him that Eren was flirting with him.He didn’t often encounter it at work - there were relatively few LGBT officers in the force.He felt his cheeks blush.God, he had read this situation wrong.The arrogance now seemed kind of charming in a way, at least compared to great ocean of mild disappointment he’d experienced through online dating.How long had it been since he’d gotten laid?And there was something about his eyes that made him want to say yes to the beer.

“Uh, ok.Here let me give you my—“

Eren took Levi’s phone from his hands as he retrieved it from his pocket.

“I’ll do it,” he entered his number and returned it to Levi, who looked at the screen and snorted. 

“‘Suicidal bastard’, what are you eight?”

“Not quite that big, but almost,” Eren said with a wink and made a move to leave.“Text me.”

Levi broke out in one of those awkward-i’m-embarrassed-in-public-did-anyone-else-just-hear-that-is-this-guy-for-real type smiles.

+++

_8.45 am.11 January 2021.Nakano, Tokyo._

Holy shit.That had been the day they’d first met.The annual policing conference had been held in Nakano that year.

“Give me a second,” Levi said to Hange, walking around the corner to find some privacy.

The phone rang.Levi’s heart was in his mouth.Why was he so nervous to contact his ex?

“Hey, this is Eren.If you’re listening to this message then I’m probably already dead.”

Levi dropped the phone.

***


	22. Jean-in-homocide Jean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey fam, hope you enjoy this chapter. 
> 
> This fic has been pretty plot heavy since chapter 16. Do you guys want a fluff / smut chapter next week to tie you over until the end or are you happy to press on until the big resolution of the plot. Let me know :).

_"Even if I come back, even if I die  
Is there some idea to replace my life?  
Like a father to impress  
Like a mother's mourning dress  
If you ever make a mess, I'll do anything for you"_

_(For the Widows in Paradise, for the Fatherless in Ypsilanti - S. Stevens)_

_***_

_The 7th of December 852_

_Hange’s office, Scouts Base_

Three days had passed since they’d returned to base, two since Mikasa had arrived.She’d been keeping a low profile and had stashed her swords under Armin’s bed.

They’d managed to arrange a clandestine meeting in Hange’s office to discuss what to do about their new overlords.

Hange, Mike, Moblit, Connie, Sasha, Christa, Ymir, Thomas and Marco had joined Armin and Mikasa, and they were all now seated in the room.

They’d each been filled in on the events both in the basement in Shiganshina, and of Mikasa’s journey to rescue Eren, and were all now thoroughly confused. 

“So the titans are actually people, who are being injected with something by Marley.So Marley is our real enemy right?” Connie asked.

“Right,” Hange said.

“But it seems the government of Sina are at least complicit in this, so they’re our enemy too?”Sasha asked.

“Right again,” Hange replied.

“And we think Reiner, Bertolt, Annie and one other shifter, are working with Marley?” Christa asked.

“We think so.But that’s not totally clear.They might be acting independently or for another country we aren’t aware of,” Hange said.

“So basically, we’ve gained a shit ton of new enemies?” Ymir said.

“Basically,” said Hange.

“Did we get any new friends?” Asked Marco.

“No, but we’ve learnt Eren might have the power to control the titans” said Hange.

“And in the meantime we’ve lost control of the scouts and Erwin is imprisoned in the cells,”Mikasa said.

“You might describe this as rock bottom,” Mike said.

“We need a plan.We need Erwin back.Then we need to regain control of the Scouts.Then we are faced with fighting either Marley or Sina.We probably need to rescue Eren first if we’re to succeed against either.If we don’t remove the Sina government, there is nothing worth fighting for, so I think that’s our fourth objective.Only once we’ve done that can we think about fighting Marley and stopping the titans once and for all,”Armin said.

“Oh well, I feel better about our situation now,” Ymir said, rolling her eyes.

“Look, let’s just focus on getting Erwin back and getting rid of Dok for now.”

“It’ll be a challenge without any weaponry given each of these dickheads is carrying around a gun.”

“You’re right, we’re going to need help, but I think I know a few more valuable people we can add to our party.” Hange said, wiggling her eyebrows.

***

_The 8th of December, 852_

_Outside Wall Maria_

“Hey Eren, what do you reckon they’re doing to Levi right about now in Sina?”Annie asked, calling out to the Alpha.

“Shut up!Let me concentrate,” he shouted back to her. 

They’d been here for over 24 hours and Eren was beginning to wonder whether Zeke had been mistaken.

He was standing about one hundred meters from the Wall.Facing it square on, trying to visualise the titans within and to exert command over them as Zeke had told him he could.

“Well I’d hurry up if I were you, he still looks pretty good for his age right?Lot of the top officials in Sina probably keen to have a go with an Omega like that.Great ass right?He’s got that feisty I've-peaked-in-mid-thirties thing going on real good,” she said, goading him.

“I said, shut the fuck up,” Eren yelled at her.Turning back to the wall he screamed, “Titans, awake!”

“Alright, I’m calling it, this guy is a fucking fraud.We’re waisting our time here Zeke.We should go back to Marley and update the general on the situation.”

“No!You said you’d help me to get Levi back!You’re not leaving until then.” Eren shouted at Annie.

The separation from his mate was slowly driving him crazy.His scent glands felt itchy and swollen.His mind was inundated with vivid images of Levi being abused by his kidnappers.It was impossible to concentrate on anything besides getting Levi back.

“Well, Eren, I've got bad news for you, you let an unbonded Omega get taken by a bunch of thugs.You honestly think you’re getting him back in one piece.I see you scratching at your gland — that’s a telltale sign that your Omega’s already been bonded by some other Alpha.”

“Shut the fuck up!He hasn’t,” he screamed.Eren’s voice shook.Zeke started to feel it then.The change in the energy flow.As if the air pressure had suddenly plunged.He noticed the clouds above ripple.Eren had broken out into a sweat and his eyes had gone pitch black.

“Anyway if you want to keep wasting your time shouting at a wall, that’s fine, I’m getting out of here.”

“Stop.I’ll kill you before I let you leave,” it comes out as an Alpha command, but lower and louder, each of the other Alphas flinched as Annie froze in her tracks.

Zeke jumped involuntarily at the sound of a clap of thunder and landslide rolled into one.He spund around and saw it was happening.The section of Wall Maria right in front of them was collapsing.And standing out of the rubble was a fifty metre titan.

“Holy fuck, it’s real.Eren you can do it.” Zeke said, laughing in joy. 

They were going to win the war.

***

_The 8th of December, 852_

_Sina castle, the tower_

Zackly collapsed on the floor of the castle’s tower, panting.You could see for miles from the tower due to the elevation of Sina, but even with an eyeglass he couldn’t see as far as Maria.But he could feel it.Could feel them.

He’s dismissed all his attendants.He’d done this alone.The Omega wasn’t here yet. But Jesus it had taken it out of him.

_What’s your next move?_

He crawled to his knees and allowed himself to rest against the balustrade, trying to recover his breath.

“General, Mr Ackerman has returned sir,” one of his lackeys had called out from below.

“Finally.”

***

/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /

***

_10.45 am. 11 January 2021.Shinjuku, Tokyo._

“I’m sure it’s just a prank voicemail Levi.You told me he was funny.”

“It didn’t sound like a joke Hange.”

“Ok, ok, look - let’s get Jean to check the daily reports for any disturbances in the area and we can go over and you two can have a little reunion?”

“Jean?”

“Yeah, Jean-in-homocide Jean.”

Dispersed images flashed through Levi’s mind.In one, himself kneeling over Jean after the attack on their first mission as a squad.The other, sitting next to Jean at a briefing on a recent murder.

“God, my brain can’t stop with this dream.”

“Sounds fun!”

“It was just so detailed I can’t get over it.Like you, it wasn’t just you, but you had this whole back story.You were like a zany scientist slash military commander.You were even dating someone.”

“Wow now that doesn’t sound like me.Who was it?She? He? They?”

“It was another soldier, M something.”

Levi didn’t notice but Hange stilled.

“M … M …” Levi continued, “Moblit!”

When Levi didn’t hear anything he turned to her.Hange’s eyes were glassy and her lips parted.

“OK, this isn’t funny anymore,” she said softly.

“I’m not joking.”

“I never told you about Moblit.I’ve never told anyone about Moblit.Levi, you’re scaring me.”

“Zoe, I’m scaring myself.I’m not making this stuff up.”

“Levi, … I … Moblit died a long time ago.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stir up bad memories.”

Hange brought her hands to her face, closed her eyes and pressed against the eyelids with her index and middle fingers.

“They weren’t bad memories.”

An ambulance with its siren on momentarily distracted them as it sped by their patrol car.

“You know, now that you mention it.On the night before he died, I think I had an experience similar to you.A dream that went on and on, so vivid and real, that when I woke up I thought this life was the dream. I sat around in a daze for a couple of days. I wonder whether it was Moblit’s soul saying goodbye…”

“Jesus.So … what did you dream about?”

“Oh, I don’t know, it’s been so long really, over ten years now.I can’t recall much.” 

Hange pulled her hair out of its tie, then started to thread her fingers back through it to gather it again.

“Oh the scenery was quite nice I remember that, lots of hills and mountains….I had an excellent horse.There were some violent bits too I think, which took me a while to block out.We seemed to fight a lot.I don’t think you were in it ... although ... there was someone just as grouchy as you there.Short too … Oh! I do remember one scene very clearly now I think of it.It was a bit gruesome really.I was in a hospital.There had been some sort of accident.It was small ward but the bed’s were filled.Patients had lost limbs, some had been crushed, it was pretty horrific.”

“Zoe. …that hospital, the walls and ceiling were made of wood right?”

Hange stopped threading her hair. 

“There was a nurse on staff called Petra, right? She got medical supplies for you.

“Stop it,” Hange said - she started breathing deeply and wound down the car window.

“One of the patients died — his name was Dieter.”

“Levi stop doing this to me!” she said, starting to hyperventilate.

“Mike lost his arm!”

And with that Zoe Hange vomited all over the dash.

***

_11.15 am.11 January 2021.Shinjuku, Tokyo._

Hange and Levi lay on a bench beside a car wash.One of the employees was cleaning up the remains of Zoe’s breakfast from the car. 

“What the fuck is going on Levi?”

“I don’t know Hange.But you said you had that dream the night before Moblit died right?”

“Right.”

“I’ve just got this awful feeling in my gut...That if we don’t find Eren soon something really, really bad is going to happen.”

“Levi just, just hypothetically, if it’s true.If this is some other world or universe or it its the past or the future or whatever, if it exists - then that means Moblit is still alive in that place and time right?”

“Well yeah, I mean I hadn’t seen him for a couple of months, but I guess so.”

“And if I previously went there, and you went there, that would mean it must be possible somehow to get back?”

“I don’t know.I guess it must be possible.”

“Alright.Then let’s go find Eren!”

***

_11.48 am.11 January 2021.Asakusa, Tokyo._

They walked up the flights of stairs in the apartment building. 

“His apartment should be on the fifth floor.”

The elevator was out of service.It was cold in the stairwell and Levi’s hand recoiled from the icy steel bannister.

As they crossed the landing on the third floor, his eyes flicked to the wall.There was some scribbled graffiti there — rare in Japan.A little heart had been drawn in magic marker.Levi snorted, some dumb high school kids no doubt, but then his eyes were drawn to the letters inscribed upon it:

 _E and L_.

+++

_A memory from 4 June 2018.Asakuksa, Tokyo._

“Why don’t you move to an apartment with a lift that actually works.”

“Come on, incidental cardio is good for you.”

“Yeah but not after a bottle of sake.You need to carry me.”Levi said, slumping against Eren’s back.

“Oh yeah? Jump on—“

“No!”

But Eren had already grabbed his thighs and lifted him up into a piggy back.

“Put me down.”

“No, I skipped leg day to meet you and I need this,” Eren said as he continued to climb the steps up to his apartment.

“You’re such a teenager sometimes.”

“I think you secretly like it.”

“I do not.”

“You like it when I leave you those little voice notes before bed.”

“I do not.”

“You like it when I give you hickeys.”

“I do not!”

“Oh yeah, well I guess you won’t like this either then.”Eren said putting Levi down and rummaging through his bag.

“What are you doing?”

“Being a teenager,” Eren said, sticking his tongue out.He’d grabbed a magic marker from his bag and Levi watched, drunk, as he drew a little love heart on the walls of the stairwell, and crossed it with their initials.

“You’re a dork,” Levi said, blushing. The alcohol prevented him from smothering the smile that had broken out across his face, so he leant into Eren's chest instead. 

“Maybe, but I’m your dork,” Eren said, pushing Levi back against the wall and kissing him.

Levi felt the warmth from Eren's mouth light him up. The taller man had an aggressive way of kissing that Levi was slowly learning to enjoy. There was a rhythm to it. He felt Eren's arm run up the back of his thigh, then seize his ass and hoist him higher against the wall. Then he pulled away. 

“Come on, I’ll make us some tea.” Eren said, resting his forehead against Levi, mirror smiles of their faces. 

Eren let Levi back down to the floor then his hand and led him the rest of the way to his apartment.He sat Levi on the sofa as he busied himself in the kitchen.

Levi looked around the room, it’d been such a dump the first night Eren had brought him here, but he was glad to see that he was slowly rubbing off on him — there was no longer any laundry scattered on the furniture, no discarded mail on the coffee table, and the level of dust was passable.

“Hey Eren, what’s on your board?”Levi asked looking up at a pinboard hanging over the dining room table.

“Oh, it’s just some clippings about that case I’ve been working on.”

Levi walked over to it and examined it.There were some photos and a few newspaper clippings.

‘ _Charges filed in the Tetsuo Labs case.5 May 2018.Following the explosive revelations last month about the controversial TITAN defence system, the national prosecutor has charged executives at Tetsuo Labs for allegedly experimenting on human subjects without regulatory approval from the Ministry of Defence …’_

“Come on babe, no work tonight, have your tea.”

+++

“Levi?” Hange asked cautiously.

“Uh, sorry, coming.”

He followed Hange up the stairwell.

***


	23. Crystalise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey all - a light fluff /smut chapter to tide you over the plot heavy second half of this fic. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think! Your comments really encourage me to write more :).

_"You've applied the pressure_

_to have me crystalised,_

_And you've got the faith,_

_that I could bring paradise."_

_(Crystalised - the XX)_

_11:55 am.11 January 2021.Asakusa, Tokyo._

Levi appraised the dark green door in front of him.The base covered in scuff marks from Eren’s work boots.The scratches around the keyhole from nights filled with too much booze.The excitement from the first time it had opened now lost beneath the sorrow of the last time it had closed.

The doorbell next to it had the old name plate, now half covered by a faded sticker.Levi frowned at the symbol on it: the silhouette of wings in black and white.

+++

_A memory from 10:15 am on 22 June 2018.Odaiba Island, Tokyo._

“You’re in a good mood today,” Eren said.

“Well my boyfriend and I finally managed to get the same day off work, I should be,” Levi replied quietly.

Eren beamed as Levi walked ahead of him.

“It sounds better every time you say it.”

Levi turned around looked up at him and smirked.

“…my boyfriend.”

Eren's smile widened. 

“I’ve got chills.”

Eren reached down and grabbed Levi’s hand as they walked up to the Fuji centre complex.He felt the shorter man’s hand tense up.

“Is it OK?”

“… yeah, it’s fine.”

It was hot and they were both in short sleeves today.Eren looked at Levi’s pale hand grasped in his own tan one.Levi moved almost silently and was surprisingly fast for his stature.He was still exploring the limits of what Levi was comfortable with in terms of public displays of affection.Kisses were a definite no, unless he’d had copious amounts of sake, but he seems OK with hugs. Hand-holding was a new one. 

When they turned the corner a group of elderly business men appeared up ahead and Eren felt Levi shake his hand free.So hand-holding was situationally dependent.

It had been a few years since Eren’s last relationship — that had been all fire and ice, too much too soon, unqualified declarations, jumping in without looking.Moments of joy punctured by tears, fighting and sadness. 

Levi was different.This felt like a slow burn, which was nice.Now that Eren’s transfer to Tokyo had come through, he was looking forward to taking their relationship to the next level. 

They rode the elevator up the skyscraper in silence.Eren let his hand trace light circles down Levi’s spine through his shirt, earning him a light nip on his ear before the doors opened again.

When they reached the observation deck Eren was glad it was virtually empty.The Tokyo skyline stretched out before them from all sides.

“Wow, Tokyo is really huge isn’t it.”

“It is.”

“You’ll think Kobe is so small when you visit.”

“Small can be good sometimes.”

“Definitely,” Eren said with a wink.Levi scoffed and rolled his eyes, walking away from the taller man, but Eren caught the upturn of his lips before he could turn his head.

***

They’d gone for a light lunch on Odaiba after the viewing platform then ended up at the Ueno park in the afternoon. Eren had bought himself a pack of stickers from the zoo like a child. Now they’d returned to Eren’s new apartment for the evening.Levi’s legs were killing him and he’d excused himself to the bathroom to rinse the day’s sweat and grime from his body.

The water cascaded down his body as he scrubbed under his fingernails.When Eren had approached him at the conference he’d never have pictured he’d be showering in his apartment a year later, figured it would be more of a pump and dump situation, which would have been fine.But he was worming his way under his skin and occupying more and more of his thoughts.He wasn’t sure how much longer he could resist the thinly-veiled suggestions that he introduce Eren to his family or at least some of his friends.Once he did that it would become much more serious.He’d never brought a guy home before. He’d only come out to his family two years ago.What would they think?Kuchel would probably be overjoyed.Mikasa would tease him endlessly about their height difference.

“Levi, do you want meat or fish for dinner?” Eren called through the door.

“Fish, thank you,” Levi replied, raising his voice above the fall of the water.Eren was a surprisingly good cook.He’d expected the country boy to be living off instant ramen and cans of tuna, but he’d been wrong — he’d made him pretty much the best soba of his life on their second date.

He stepped out of the shower and ran the towel through his messy hair.He’d need a hair cut soon, but Eren had said he liked it longer.Maybe he’d let it grow just an inch more.

Eren was already plating up the grilled fish when he stepped out of the bathroom. 

“You smell nice,” Eren said, kissing the top of his still damp hair.

“It’s your shampoo,” Levi replied, sticking his tongue out.

“It suits you.”

They sat down to eat at the counter top.The fish was so delicate, it almost seemed to melt in his mouth once he bit through the charred skin.They ate in silence and Levi enjoyed the peace that came with it.There was something about Eren’s eyes and they way they traced his movements.They were bright, and piercing, often joyful, sometimes serious and every now and then … rarely, a bit wild.

He saw Eren lick his tongue over his lips.They were thick, and now shiny, surrounded by his strong chin and jaw.

“What are you looking at?” Eren said with a smirk.

“Nothing.”

“Ok.Do you want to watch a movie after dinner.”

Levi looked across the counter at him.

“No, I don’t want to watch a movie.”

“Well we could—“

“Fuck?” Levi said, staring up at him with his mouth upturned in a grin.

Eren looked surprised, then laughed.

“You’re a bit dirty, aren’t you?” Eren asked.

“Only mentally.”

“I like it.”

And with that Eren stood up and grabbed Levi, hoisting him up into his arms.Levi wrapped his legs around Eren’s waist and brought his arms around his back, letting his left hand course up into the thick brown hair.

His lips made soft kisses against Eren’s lips and stubble as he felt himself being carried into the small bedroom at the back of the flat.Felt himself fall on top of the larger man as he laid down on the futon. 

***

“You were a very good boy today,” Levi says, looking down at Eren’s face, gently illuminated by the light from the lamp in the corner.He shimmied down his body so that his ass is planted against Eren’s groin, feeling the growing excitement beneath him.

“Was I?” Eren asks, bringing his hands to the top of Levi’s ass and thrusting himself up into him so that his dick rubs against the flesh through the layers of clothing.

“Aha” Levi responds, nodding. “And do you know what good boys get?”

“A reward?”

“Precisely.”

Levi moves down Eren’s body, snaking his nose over the thin shirt pulled taught against the chest muscles beneath.Eren’s hands find their way to Levi’s head and gently thread through the long soft hair that falls over his face.Reaching his zipper, Levi finds the bulge pointing out to the side of Eren’s jeans, gently biting at it through the thick denim.

“Wait,” Eren says, sitting up. “If it is a reward, then I want to do it in this position, and I want to see,” he says, standing up and over Levi, before he reaches around to flick the ceiling lights on. 

Levi laughs as he kneels up and comes back to Eren’s crotch.Undoing the belt and button, he pulls the zip down to reveal the black briefs under the denim.The end of Eren’s dick is already wet, and there is a shiny spot of precum near his hip.Levi sucks at it greedily.

“This is my favourite side of you,” Eren says, gently pulling Levi’s head back in his palm so he can look at his face as his tongues him through the briefs.

“Mine too,” Levi replies.Grabbing the waist band of the underwear he frees the trapped length beneath.The head an angry red, he coats it with his mouth, feeling the soft warmth fill his lips. His eyes close as he relaxes his throat to take more and more down into him.

“Fuck, Levi … where do you put it?” Eren asks, wrapping his fingers around the back of Levi’s head and pulling him down even further.Levi feels the head enter his throat and glide passed his tonsils, runs the tip of his tongue on the underside of Eren’s shaft.Finds his nose buried against the dark hair already.

“Baby, you’re amazing,” he hears Eren sigh above him.Levi brings his hands up Eren’s legs and grabs his firm ass cheeks to support him as he pulls back leaving only the head in his mouth.Slowly teases it, running circles over it and pressing against the slit. 

“Ohhhh yeah, like that."

Takes it back down again then starts bobbing up and down on it.Letting the saliva build up then fall from his lips to create a smooth glide.When he is back at the base he feels Eren hold him there firmly, as the man gently kneels one leg down then the other, bringing Levi with him, so that he was now on all fours.Feels Eren’s hand roam down his back to find his ass, then duck under his trousers and reach for him.

“Did you clean yourself in the shower for me?”

Levi brought the dick back out of his throat.

“Mhmm” he said nodding whilst continuing to tease the cock.

“Very good boy.”

He feels Eren probe inside him with his thumb.His weight moving forward to get better purchase, twisting it around until he finds his spot.

“Ngghh,” Levi moans, closing his eyes and letting his spit spill out and drip down Eren’s length.

“Fuck baby, what did I do to deserve you?” Eren asks.He’s removed Levi’s pants now and is gently palming his ass with one hand as the other remains with its thumb lodged inside him.

Levi lifts his head off the dick in front of him. 

“I want it,” he says.

“Oh yeah?How do you want it?”

“Like this, on my knees.”

“Good.”

He feels himself being lifted and swung around — fuck, he forgets how strong Eren is sometimes — so that now he can feel the thick meat smacking against him.

“Do you need me to open you up more?”Eren asks, shifting forward and leaning down to whisper in Levi’s ear.

“No … just … go slow at the start.”

“Thank you,” Eren says, kissing his ear.

He feels him at his entrance, the pressure slowly building as he’s pulled apart.The warmth spreading below.He bites his lip as the pain grows, a formless intensity.

“Ok?”

“Just …. a second.”

Feels the hands grip around his waist and hold him close.The gentle pop as the head pushes past the barrier and slips inside him.

“Ohhhhh fuck,” Eren lets out.

Levi’s lip remain between his teeth as he tries to shift beneath Eren, to ease the tension he know will pass.Drops his head forward to the mattress and rocks his hips gently.

“Yes baby, like that.”Eren’s hands come down from his waist to his hips as they start to pull him gently closer again.

“Nnghh, slow!” Levi says and the man above him stops, lets his hands trace patterns with his fingertip on his skin.Levi feels Eren’s length pulse inside him.The pain eases and he lets his hips fall back further. 

_Oh … fuck … yes…_

“Your ass is incredible,” Eren says as he resumes the pressure now, working with Levi to pull the two of them closer together.

“Is it all the way in now?”

“Almost.”

“Liar.”

“You’re doing really well.” 

He presses on and eventually he feels contact.He’s full.Each pulse causes a tingle against his spot.The hair on Eren’s groin tickles the skin of his ass.

“Come up with me,” Eren says.He feels Eren’s hands on his shoulders pulling him up off the mattress, one slides up to his throat as the other slides down to his waist to arch his torso.Feels him start to pull back before gently thrusting forward.

“Fuck, Eren,” he calls back.He feels himself opening up as the resistance eases.

“Yes baby, like that.”

The slow thrusts become regular now.Just an inch at first, back and forth, pressing against him.He feels the lube let Eren glide back easier, so it becomes two inches at a time, and fuck it feels good.It’s that weird indescribable feeling within him, it’s intense and unknowable.

“You like that?”

“Mmhmm,”Levi hums nodding, closing his eyes.Feels Eren’s hand on his throat tighten softly, to exert gentle pressure.

“Are you ready now?”

“Mmhm,’ Levi hums again.The hand on his throat drops down to join the other on his hips, and the gentle thrusting is replaced by a heavy slam.

“Oh fuck Levi,” Eren says, pulling almost all the way out and slamming into him again.“How do you feel so fucking good?”

“Fuck me,” Levi says, his head bobbing.

Eren kicks Levi’s knees out wider and starts to bring his hips back against him faster and faster.His hole is so wet now with lube and precome and sweat that it’s creating a loud squelching sound each time Eren drives into it, his balls smacking against the skin beneath. 

The rhythmic thwack, thwack, thwack causes Levi’s legs to shake as each drive feels like a tiny muted orgasm on its own.Feels the heat from his prostate being stimulated and his own hard dick start to leak beneath him as the movement causes it to smack against his taught abs. 

“Fuck, Eren … yes.”

“You like it?”

“Yes, like that, please.”

Eren lifts himself up so on leg has his foot planted beside Levi whilst the other is on his knee.Brings his right hand back to Levi’s shoulder and from this position can basically lift the smaller man entirely as he drives into him.

“Oh fuck,” Levi gasps.The new angle caused Eren to hit directly against his spot with each push.

“I can feel it,” Levi lets out.The growing intensity.Enough that would make him previously want to stop, but now he’s learnt to push through.Feels it build with each further thrust.

“You feel me baby?”

“Fuck, yes, please, don’t stop.”

He’s sweating now, and Levi tries to lift his hips to match Eren’s pace, to push back to meet each of his thrusts and to squeeze around him.

Eren’s fingers dig into his shoulder and hip with a sense of desperation now.Levi’s legs are tired but he pushes through, feeling on the precipice.

“Fuck, Levi,” Eren is panting, “I’m close.”

“Mmhm, keep going.”

And then he feels it — the thrust that pushes him over the edge.The energy races through him and he feels himself shoot as sticky liquid coats his own torso.

“Nngggg, coming,” he calls out.

“Oh fuck,” Eren stills and Levi seizes around him. 

“Oh fuck, yes.”

And then Levi feels the heat within him, as Eren pulls him tight and throbs.They collapse down on to the futon.Levi feels the weight of Eren above him, holding him tight as he unloads into him. 

They’re so sweaty and the cum will stain the sheets, but he doesn’t care.He’s warm, he’s safe and he’s secure.

He lets Eren rest for a minute before he wiggles forward under him.Hearing the plop as he slides out.He twists around so that he can see his face.

“Hey,” he says, looking up at him.

“Hey,” Eren replies, smiling.

***


	24. A beautiful mind

" _I remember when_  
 _I remember, I remember when I lost my mind_  
 _There was something so pleasant about that place_  
 _Even your emotions have an echo in so much space_  
 _And when you're out there without care_  
 _Yeah, I was out of touch_  
 _But it wasn't because I didn't know enough_  
 _I just knew too much_

_Does that make me crazy?_ _Does that make me crazy?_ _Does that make me crazy?_  
 _Possibly."_

(Crazy - G. Barkly)

***

_11:56 am.11 January 2021.Asakusa, Tokyo._

Hange started knocking.

“Eren, open up,” Levi called.

There was no answer.He pressed the doorbell multiple times.

“Fuck, back up.”

Levi walked back then took a running start at the door.He slammed into it.It didn’t budge.

Hange tried the handle.It opened.

“Oh.Guess we should have tried that first,” she said.

Levi rolled his eyes and entered the dark apartment.

“Eren?!Are you here?”

Hange found a light switch by the door.

“Wow.Who the hell is this guy?”

The once clean apartment was now complete chaos.

Every inch of the walls were covered with photos, maps and newspaper clippings.Threads connected various pages together.All spiralling out from the cork board above the dining table, itself covered in papers.

Levi and Hange walked further into the apartment.

“What has he been doing?”

Levi’s eyes followed the threads on the wall across various clippings.

_‘Minister assures public — rigorous ethical standards to be enforced on the TITAN genome project.’_

_‘Tetsuo Labs awarded major military contract. Work to start immediately.’_

_‘Major breakthrough achieved — the bionic man in the 21st century — is immortality possible?’_

_‘Nine subjects die in controversial TITAN genome project at Tetsuo Labs.”_

‘ _Peace activists protest military research on bio-human engineering.’_

_‘Tetsuo executives cleared of wrongdoing in criminal case’_

_‘Was the Judge bribed?New allegations surface after trial’_

“Eren was working on the Tetsuo Labs case, huh?I thought the force suspended the second investigation after the trial. ” Hange asked.

“Yeah,” Levi said, his eyes following the trails of paper and threads around the room, “god, what’s happened to him?”Levi picked up a stack of papers on the dining room.

‘ _Letter of suspension from Police Force.6 January 2019.’_

Levi picked it up and read through it.He remembered the date.

+++

_A memory from 6 January 2019, Asakusa Tokyo_

“Eren, you need to let this go, please, let it go.”

“How can I let it go Levi?How can I keep working knowing that those bastards are going to get away with it?”

“I know it’s hard OK.But you can’t solve the world’s problems on your own alright?You’ve done everything you can for the victims.”

“No Levi, I haven’t.I haven’t even started.”Eren said, his eyes darkening, a shadow falling over his face.

Levi walked up to him and pulled him into an embrace.

“I’m asking you, I’m begging you, for me, for us,”

“Don’t guilt me into giving this up Levi.How can you be OK with letting them get away with it?They deserve to rot in jail.They gave Armin untested drugs!They knew they were unsafe!And what for?To try and turn humans into some sort of new military weapon?”

“I’m not OK with it Eren!I agree with you.But you can’t let this consume you.You are not responsible for solving the injustice of the world.You are a great officer.You did the ground work, you got the evidence, you spoke with the witnesses.But you’re not judge, jury and executioner OK?”

“I’ve got a gun.”

“Eren, you’re scaring me,” Levi buried his head into Eren’s chest.

+++

_12.02 pm.11 January 2021.Asakusa, Tokyo._

“He was suspended?”Hange asked, taking the letter from Levi.

“Yeah,” Levi said, putting it down.“We fought about it.One of the victims was a childhood friend of his. I think that was the last time I came here.”

“Looks like he kept on with the case.”

“Yeah.”

“Who are those three?”

On the opposite side of the room were three large photographs.

Levi didn’t recognise two of them, but the one in the middle, he’d seen before.His face went white.‘ _Zackly, CEO of Tetsuo Labs.”_

_****_

_/ / / / / / / / / / / / /_

_****_

_The 8th of December, 852_

_Sina castle, the main hall_

“I told you I wanted him alive” Zackly yelled at Kenny.

“Cool your jets Zackly, he is alive.”

Levi didn’t look it.He was unceremoniously dumped at Zackly’s feet.His clothes were still damp never having properly dried through the rains.His wet hair clung to his forehead.His eyes, still closed, were surrounded by dark circles.Lips were blue.

Zackly prodded the Omega’s jugular with a finger.There was a faint heartbeat.

“You’re lucky he’s still got a pulse.”

“Hey, you should be thanking us for getting him here at all.We ran in to some intelligent titans trying to get this runt.They friends of yours?”

Zackly looked at him.

“Huh? I sensed that they were looking for him too, but you were a bit too far from me.I suppose you did do a good job to get him away from them in that case.”

“Jeez, thanks boss.You’re always so generous.”

“Now leave us alone.”

Zackly bent down and fiddled with Levi’s collar for a few moments.Then he retrieved a ring from his pocket and placed it on his forefinger.

***

_The 8th of December 852, Scouts HQ_

Armin sipped the tepid water in front of him and stared out across the mess hall.Large banners of the unicorn had been suspended over them, which seemed to bear down a great weight on the scouts corp beneath them who were eating their evening meal.

Dok and his cronies now occupied the table on the raised platform.Weapons hanging on their belts.

The original squads had been separated and reformed into new groups, each under the command of three military police officers.Armin locked eyes with Sasha then Connie each at separate tables.He felt a tightness in stomach as he heard the chair scrape and Hange rose to her feet.

She was the lone scout seated with Dok and she had raised a mug in her left hand.

“I have something to say.”

Dok and the other officers placed their hands on their holsters.

“A toast, to our new leader Nile Dok.”

The hall quietened and the formers scouts turned in surprise to Hange’s actions.

“I’ll be the first to admit, I was skeptical on the circumstances in which he was appointed, but having seen the great efficiencies he’s unlocked and the rousing sense of morale he’s created, I’ve realised I was wrong.” 

One of the younger scouts dropped his spoon out of his hands and its clang rang out in the hall.

“So, to atone for my initial misgivings, and as a sign of appreciation, I’ve arranged for a little treat for our new leaders.”

“Hange, one wrong move and I’ll have Erwin executed on the spot,” Dok said to her cooly.

“Don’t worry, I’ll think you’ll enjoy this.”

And with that Hange clapped her hands twice.From behind the curtain on the stage came the sounds of a band.Then moving through the part in the curtains, Petra stepped out into the lights, followed by Nanaba and then a long line of Omegas all dressed up in silken outfits of gold and rose. 

A great cheer went up from the crowd as the Omegas on stage danced seductively to the music and started to weave their way down the crowd.

The Alphas on Dok’s table stared in awe their mouths hanging open. 

The doors to the hall flew open with the guards on duty outside hearing the music and rushing in to get a chance to goggle the Omegas dancing.

Waiting until he was sure all eyes were now off him, Armin quietly slipped out the side exit and slipped out into the cool night air.

****

/ / / / / / / / / / / 

_****_

_12.15 pm.11 January 2021.Asakusa, Tokyo._

“Is there anywhere else you think he could be?“ Hange said.They were back in the squad car.

“Not really, we tended to hang out just the two of us.Either at his or apartment or mine. Maybe a local restaurant.”

“I’ll get Jean to run some searches, see if he had rented another place or an office.”

“I have a feeling we won’t find him there.He left his place unlocked.I’m worried he left not planning to return —-“

The radio on their dash cracked to life.

“ _All units, all units, suspected break-in at private research facility.No casualties reported but witness states suspect may be carrying firearm.Requested POT unit support for local officers. Site coordinates are …_ ” the message continued in the background.

“Shhh, god they don’t wait long to get us involved do they.Some kid probably broke a window—-“ Zoe said.

“Wait, those coordinates, that’s Lake Okutama. Isn't that where the Tetsuo Lab industries site is?” Levi said — his mind thinking back to the Map that had been plastered on Eren’s wall.

“Oh fuck, you don’t think?”

The radio interrupted again.

“ _All units, all units, shots fired.Site identified as Tetsuo Labs.Potential hostage situation.Request immediate assistance_.”

“Let’s go!”

***


	25. The Clash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was fun to write. Parts of it are a bit more light-hearted. I hope you enjoy it :).

_Well, shake it up, baby, now  
Twist and shout  
Come on, come on, come, come on, baby, now  
Come on and work it on out_

(Twist and Shout - the Beatles)

_Evening of 8th of December 852, Scouts HQ Prison Cells._

Erwin was bored.Really fucking bored.He’d spent the past few days with no one but Dok and his cronies for company, when they’d turn up to interrogate him and slap him around a bit more, and now he was itching to get out of this prison cell. 

The one solace was that he’d had so much new information to process following their trip to Shiganshina that it gave him time to plan the next moves for the Scouts.But even that well of interest had started to run dry.

He hadn’t been wholly surprised by Dok’s coup, but evidently he’d failed to plan appropriately for it.If only … he had to admit it … if only Levi had been here.Dok would either be dead, or more likely would have been too scared to even attempt the coup.  
  
He cursed himself for the thousandth time for the way he reacted that evening.Like a pubescent Alpha dealing with his first rejection.He kicked the empty pail of water by his bed and it clanged against the iron bars.

“Quieten down!” the Military Police officer standing by the door shouted down the corridor. 

Erwin sighed.He closed his eyes and let his mind wander as he tried to relax himself.He imagined that he could hear very faint music coming in through the small window.Pictured a band playing at the Mess Hall like they’d set up for the graduation ceremony.Wondered what Nanaba would be up to.Whether they’d mistreated her.The music almost sounded real — was Dok celebrating something?Then beyond the music, the sounds of hurried, muffled steps.Another interrogation squad on their way?

The door to the prison flew open with a bang.

“Wha—-Argghh!” The officer screamed.

Erwin leapt from his bed and approached the bars, tried to peer down the corridor to see who was there, but the candles had been extinguished.Heard the sound of a sword twisting into flesh.Then more footsteps.

He breathed a sigh of relief.

“Well isn’t this a turn of events?” Mikasa asked him with a smirk on her face as she strode out of the darkness.

***

_Scouts HQ, Mess Hall_

The temperature in the hall had risen a few degrees since the nights festivities had begun.After the first dance the Omegas had challenged the Alphas at Dok’s table to see who could drink the most and the officers had competed to outdo each other.They were now rosy cheeked and falling over one another.

There had been further dancing and merry making as the Omegas dispersed among the crowd. 

Petra had been working her way down the line, her eyes flicked back to Hange every so often, when she felt a hand wrap around her waist.

“Petra, you look much better in that dress than in your nurse’s uniform.Finally get to see what you’ve been hiding away all this time,” the drunken doctor slurred.Petra fought down the urge to recoil from the touch of her boss.His attitude to Omegas had only worsened since that night he’d performed the examination on Levi.

“Oh well, I can’t give alway all my secrets at once,” she giggled.A little bit of vomit reached the back of her throat, which she managed to swallow down again.

“I think I deserve a special dance of my own, don’t you?”

The band had just about finished their fifth song at this point and were getting ready to launch into the next tune.

Petra looked up at Hange again, and finally saw her give the signal for her to get the Omegas out of there.

“I think you may be right Doctor,” she said.

A snare drum started a drum roll.

“I think you may deserve a very special dance.”

A Bass started thumbing a deep beat.

“But doctor, before I begin …” she said smiling.

“Yes Petra,” he said gazing up at her, starry eyed.

A trumpet let out a long wail.

“You should know — this is for Levi!”

And using all her strength, she recoiled her arm and punched the doctor square in the face as hard as she could, hearing the satisfying sound of the cartilage breaking.

“Charge!” Hange yelled from up on the stage.

The core group of Scouts stormed Dok’s table, Ymir and Christa tackling Dok.Mike going after his right hand man.Knocking out their guns in the process.Jean was seated in the crowd and used two flagons to knock out the officer next to him.

All around the room other members of squad Levi and squad Hange started a melee at the tables near them whilst the other members of the scout corp looked on in surprise.

Then the main doors to the hall flung open.Erwin came storming in flanked by Mikasa, Armin, Sasha and Connie. Erwin climbed the table nearest the entrance and shouted out to the hall:“Comrades!You are members of the Scout Corp!YOU ARE BORN TO FLY ON THE WINGS OF FREEDOM!JOIN WITH US.ATTACK!”

And then it was on for young and old. 

A ripple went out through the crowd as the younger recruits stood and and rushed the tables holding military police.Fists flying, legs kicking.

Those without weapons grabbed whatever was at hand - plates, goblets, benches, candle sticks and charged forward towards the officers.

The military police officers jumped up to fight back, most only to fall flat on their faces, having missed that the Omegas had unbelted their trousers and disarmed their weapons during the dancing.

Great hoots and yells rang out along with the odd gun shot and sword clash.

A few of the bonded omegas even joined in the fray — Nanaba got a good right hook in against Dok’s at one point — whilst Petra swiftly guided the others to exit behind the stage.

The fight went on longer than expected with black eyes and broken teeth mounting up.But the military police were overwhelmed.

A young scout, climbed the beams of the hall and ripped down the unicorn emblem, revealing the Wings of Freedom once more.

***

_Morning of 9 December 852._

_General Zackly’s Private Quarters, Sina._

“I wonder where your dreams have taken you,” Zackly said aloud to no-one.

He was perched on a wooden chair that set next to the day bed he kept in his private study.The prone form of Levi lay before him, his gently breathing the only sign of life.

The sun had not yet risen but the sky had already grown light outside the windows from the top of the castle.

After Levi had been deposited on the floor before him, Zackly had his maid take the Omega and clean him up, then bring him here.His private doctor had attended him and confirmed that his condition was stable, although the Omega appeared significantly malnourished and exhausted.The doctor suggested he would wake on his own accord once given a chance to rest, but Zackly suspected that would not be the case.

He toyed with the ring on his finger.He’d had dreams of his own.Dreams that had led him here today.And he weighed in the balance whether this was a dream from which he ought to wake Levi.

***

/ / / / / / / / / / /

***

_1.45 pm.11 January 2021.Tetsuo Lab Industries._

“Holy shit,” Hange exclaimed as the gate to the research facility came into view — or more accurately, its smouldering remains.Twisted metal lay to the side of the road.

Levi pressed down on the accelerator and drove the car up to the parking lot beyond.It appeared that most of the employees from the facility had already fled.There were only half a dozen or so cars remaining, two of them squad cars with their lights on.Levi pulled up along side them. They were empty.

He scanned the building.Main doors on the ground floor had been shattered and the security rollers blown out.

“I don’t see any snipers,” Hange said.“But you better pull in under cover to be sure.”

Levi manœuvred the car up to the entrance, which was covered by a canopy.

“Levi, I’m not sure it’s a good idea for you to be here.If there are hostages we need to get a negotiator here …”

“Hange, I don’t think Eren has come here to negotiate.”

He opened the car door and looked around the scene.No signs of life on the ground floor.A water fountain had broken open, soaking the entrance.Levi ran across the entrance way and darted inside the building, Hange flanked him.

In the distance they could hear faint shouting.

“Second floor?”

“Let’s try that stairwell.”

They followed the noises as silently as they could, entering a larger atrium, signs on the wall pointed to Lab Block C.

Eventually, they turned down a long corridor, and saw four officers, guns drawn standing at attention by a large set of doors, faint yelling could be heard behind it.

Levi whistled.The officers turned. 

“Hange? Levi?What are you guys doing here?” Jean asked.

Levi had to blink twice.There standing in front of him were Jean, Connie, Sasha and Thomas.His mind tried to place them.Jean and Connie worked in homocide and Sasha and Thomas were beat cops…But last night they had all been on his squad as Scouts.

“Is this a POT case, are these guys terrorists?” Sasha asked.

“Maybe.How long you guys been here?”

“Only about 15 minutes.One of the employees called it in and we were the closest unit to the scene.But when we got here the assailants had already barricaded the hostages inside this room.We tried to engage with them but they just told us to fuck off or they’d shoot everyone inside then themselves.We’re trying to listen, it seems they know the hostages, they’re trying to get them to do something but it’s not clear what.”

“I’m going to try to engage with them, if they don’t let us in we need to shoot this door in.”

“Don’t you think we should wait for a negotiator.”

“Not on this one.

Levi marched up to the door and started pounding on it.

***


	26. For one more day inside this life!

" _Oh, who decides from where up high?_  
 _I couldn't say: 'I need more time'_  
 _Oh, grant that I, can stay the night_  
 _Or one more day inside this life_

_Too much, too much, too much, too much, too much_  
 _Never enough_ "

(Too much is never enough - Florence and the Machine)

_9th of December 852, Scouts HQ_ ****

The Scouts lined up on the hill outside of base.A fresh layer of snow had fallen early that morning and the sun’s feeble winter rays had yet to melt it.

Mike scratched the neck of his horse.Riding with one arm had taken a while to get used to, but he’d managed to learn to hold his balance with just his legs and hips.

Behind him, the entire Scouts Corp began filing out from the gates two by two.After the melee, they’d only been afforded four hours rest.Erwin had been adamant that they leave for Sina today.The shock of the revelations that the party from Shiganshina had shared with the remainder of the Corp was still evident on the faces of the recruits.But they shared a resolve to uncover the remaining mysteries of their story once and for all.

Today they would ride for Sina.

 ******* ****

_9th of December Marley warship_

“General, the recon unit confirms the beach and cliffs are clear for landing.Seeking permission to land the marine forces?”

“Permission granted, let’s get this show underway.I want an aerial runway lit by night fall.”

The usual empty waters of Paradise’s western cove were now full with Marley’s naval fleet.It would take hours to disembark their infantry units and Magath wanted to ensure they used the most of daylight hours.

“General, 15 metre titan spotted on 1300 hours from cruiser B.”

Magath surveyed the screen in front of him.

“Time to try to out the big guns in that case.” ****

It had been several years since Magath had led an expeditionary force, and never into a battle with so many unknowns.He felt almost a biblical weight on his shoulders.This war, more than any other, would be remembered by the people of Marley.

“General, we’re receiving a report from Warchief Zeke’s radio.”

Magath held his breath.If Zeke came through for them his worries about the performance of his troops would be abated.

“He says the walls are moving.”

Magath let out a sigh of relief. ****

_***_

_The morning of the 10th of December, 852_

_Outside Wall Sina, from the East_

“What are we waiting for.I want to release them now Zeke.”

“Please Eren, trust me, we still want the military ready to support us.They landed their forces yesterday and the mobile units will be nearing Wall Maria by now.We don’t know if Sina has any tricks up their sleeves to play at the last minute.”

“I don’t need a military Zeke, I have my own army now.”

“An army of titans yes, who can destroy everything in their path, but Eren once they’ve taken the castle and killed the generals there will be chaos.There are hundreds of thousands of people in Sina and Rose and we need troops on the ground ready to take control.Otherwise there will be tens of thousands more deaths.”

“They better hurry up then.”

At that moment the long waive radio Reiner carried crackled to life.“Forces at Maria.Await your signal.”

“OK Eren, it’s time to get your Omega back.”

 **_****_ ** ****

**_/ / / / / /_ ** ****

******* ****

_2:05 PM, 11 January 2021, Tetsuo Lab Industries, Tokyo._ ****

“Hey Eren!Eren, it’s Levi!Open the fucking door now!” Levi shouted whilst banging on the steel door.

The shouting in the room suddenly halted.A scraping was heard on the ground.

“Levi?” Eren’s voice sounded from inside the room.

“Eren, I’m here, you need to stop what you’re doing and let us in, we can talk this out.”

“What the fuck are you doing here?You and your team need to leave now.”

“We’re here because a call just went out to the entire Tokyo police force for assistance.Eren we’ve got less than 15 minutes before they start sending in serious numbers on this.Let us in!”

“No, it’s too late.You never understood.If you come in, we’re shooting them.”

“Fuck this,” Levi said, pointing his gun at the door handle and shooting.

“Levi, what the fuck,” Connie yelled, too late to stop the officer unloading a round into the door. Levi kicked the door down and stepped inside, gun pointed.

_Jesus, what a reunion._

Levi saw Eren first.He was dressed all in black, and — what the fuck — he had an assault rifle pointed straight back at Levi.How did he even get a gun like that into the country?

Levi tried to recognise the man he’d loved before him.Same face, same body, same hair, but something had changed.Something important had been lost.That easy smile, the crinkles around his eyes.They’d disappeared.

Beside him stood Reiner, Annie, Bertholdt and another man with blonde hair that Levi didn’t recognise.What were those three doing here?Levi couldn’t recognise them from the force.The four of them also carried assault rifles and Reiner had also pointed his at Levi.The other three had their guns trained on the hostages on the other side of the room.

_Well, fuck me._

Zackly stood in the middle, his arms crossed and looking perturbed.Nile Dok and three others were crouched on the ground beside him.Wait, one of those guys, was that the doctor from base?

“Killing them won’t make any of this better.It won’t bring back Armin or anyone else.”

“Maybe not, but I think it’s going to feel really good while I’m doing it,” Eren said cooly.Levi reached forward.

“You take one more fucking step detective and I’m going to shoot your fucking head off,” Reiner said.

“Oh don’t worry, they said they’d shoot me if I didn’t sit down, and look at me I’m fine,” Zackly said dryly.

Eren clicked the safety off of his gun. 

“I’ve run out of patience Zackly, you’ve got five seconds to tell us the code to that door or we’re shooting you and blowing the door out ourselves.Five,—-

Levi could see what lay before them.Could sense the presence of something dark that had crawled up and out from under the ground and worked its way into Eren’s mind.As if there was another soul in the room, invisible and intangible, but there nonetheless.If Eren killed these people crouching in fear before him, then there would be no going back. 

***

/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /

***

_Sina Castle_

Zackly had been waiting patiently for this moment.The radio he’d constructed had been silent for days, as to be expected on an island where there was only one transmitter, but finally it had crackled to life.He smiled as he heard Magath give Zeke the order.

He looked across at the Omega.It was time to wake up.

***

/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /

***

_Tetsuo Lab Industries_

“Eren wait,” Levi pleaded.He went to move closer despite Reiner’s threat.

He locked eyes with the man he’d loved and tried to find him in those deep pools of black.What could he do or say to avert this?

He opened his mouth to speak, and at that moment felt a shockwave run through his body. 

A light shiver was instantly magnified a thousand-fold as if he’d been struck with lightning.

The rest of the occupants in the room turned in shock as they saw Levi get momentarily flung into the air, before crumpling upon himself and falling.

“Levi!” Eren yelled.

***

/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /

***

_Sina Castle_

Levi’s eyes shot open.His body was wrecked.Each and every muscle fiber screamed in agony as he lay prone on the bed.

“Hello Levi,” Zackly said staring at Levi on the bed before him.

Levi couldn’t speak, his throat parched.

“Drink this water,” Zackly said reaching for the jug sitting on the table.

Levi tried to roll over on to his back. He realised that his hands were bound.

Zackly brought a cup of water to him.The liquid spilt over his bruised and broken lips, as he tried to swallow.

“It’s been a while since we last met.When was the last time?It must have been the day you gave Jaeger his beating at the trial.”

Levi tried to drink the remnants of the water from the cup.

“I apologise for how you were been treated on your journey.But it was necessary to retrieve you as quickly as possible.”

Levi tried to concentrate.Where was he?Was he back in Paradis?

“Where’s am I?”

“You’re in the castle of Sina and you’re safe.”

“What?How did I? I need to go back!I need to save Eren!”

What was going on in the room at Tetsuo Labs?Was Eren alive?

“Don’t worry about Eren, he is on his way here to see you actually.He will arrive in a few days.”

“What do you want with me?”

Levi couldn’t keep up with this life any longer.His consciousness was being flung about from different worlds and times.How was he supposed to know what was real anymore?Was he even sane?Were these nothing more than delusions he was suffering whilst locked in an asylum somewhere after taking too many suppressants?

“Always straight to the point with you.I like that.Levi, I think you’ve realised by now something that took me too long to work out.That through your father you are descendant of Ymir.Her blood flows through your veins.Well I need your help so that we can finish what Ymir started.To end the age of humans once and for all, and to restore the age of the Eldian empire.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Don’t worry, you don’t need to understand everything.Time to have a rest and get your energy back, I’ll wake you when we’re ready.”

“Fucking untie me—“

“Sleep Omega,” Zackly commanded.And Levi’s eyes fell closed.

_***_


End file.
